Scream Queens S2 E9 Review: "Lovin' The D"

Note: This review contain spoilers for the episode. You have been warned.

Okay, this is what I want the show to be about. The three Green Meanies (Green Threenies?) have finally met and it was glorious. They accidentally interrupted each other's opening kills, letting Chanel No. 1 get away. Just the image of one of them shrugging and giving a "What the heck, dude?!" expression through the mask made me laugh. Aside from the great writing, it was also a golden example of physical comedy.

It doesn't end there because Hester interrupts their petty squabbling to call a "Green Meanie summit." Said summit is conducted in the format of a mock game show where she divvies up the remaining kills for Hoffel, Cassidy, and Wes. Cassidy is still in love with Chanel No. 3, making Wes constantly make fun of him and insinuate that the only murder he'll do is "killing her with kisses." He just grumpily responds by saying that he'll kill her. Can we just have a series about competing horror movie killers? Forget the Chanels, I want to see that!

Sadly, the alliance plot was too good to last. Wes betrays Offel by trying to kill Chanel, so Offel and Cassidy push him into a vat of frying oil, turning him into a disgusting corpse. Meanwhile, Cassidy sided with his mom by breaking up with Chanel No. 3. He just wants to be the serial killer that he was groomed to be. True love won't get in the way. As for Zayday, she's still in the clutches of Cassidy's mom, and no one knows about it yet. Uh, oh.

Finally, I actually found the plot of the Chanels to be somewhat tolerable this time. In order to perform a surgery live on a daytime television show called Lovin' The D, they have to pass an important medical exam. Of course, Chanels No. 1 and 3 cheat on the test and pass, unbeknownst to Chanel No. 5, who actually studied and legitimately succeeded. I was impressed by that. If she applied herself and actually became a better person, she might actually become the only good Chanel.

All of these plot developments point to a rollicking season finale, with the Chanels having their own show, and a tense cliffhanger with Zayday. I hope that it'll be good! See you then.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.