Critical Hits & Misses #344

• Tom Hanks refused to attend a screening of his own movie, The Post, at the White House, and denounces attacks on the First Amendment. 


• And over at EW, Olivia Munn pens an essay about her own experience with sexual harassment, and why she is speaking out against an industry with a history of forgiving abusers and punishing victims. 

For today's musical hit, we have Katy Perry and "Hey Hey Hey"

Today's critical rolls: Blessed Be and Merry Winter Solstice to you if you celebrate it (I do). May your Hannukah have been wonderful if you celebrated that. And may your Christmas be full of warmth and happiness, if you will be celebrating next Monday. What are your holiday traditions, even if you don't formally celebrate a religious one at this time?

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Critical Hits & Misses #341

• Mess with Jeff, prepare for death. In the never-ending battle of dealing with the toxic elements of Overwatch's playerbase, Jeff Kaplan performs an epic takedown of a forum troll who tried to play innocent on why he/she received a temp-ban in Overwatch. 


• Marvel's (white) Editor-in-Chief has apologized for posing as an Asian writer, and says he's listened to what people have been telling him about why it was wrong. We'll see, I suppose. 

For today's musical hit, we have "It Feels Like Christmas" from Panic! At The Disco:

Today's critical rolls: Are you ready for the holidays? Whether you celebrate Christmas or not, most likely you have some time off coming up. What are you planning on doing?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Ghost in the Shell Film Analysis Part V and Final: The Problem With the Ghost in The Shell film

The film has one Big Issue, and it’s racism. In fact, it’s such a big issue that it manifests itself in three ways: white-washing, Orientalism and Eurocentrism. Yes, in previous installments I spent a huge amount of time praising how believable and cool future Japan was, and yet I’m charging the film with charge being Eurocentric anyway, for reasons that will become clear when I get  to that point.

I confess that I’m not the most ‘woke’ person out there when it comes to US racial politics, mainly because I’m not from the US nor have I ever lived there, so I have a higher tolerance for racial bullshit than what people would otherwise expect from me. However, when I start noticing stuff, Hollywood, you done fucked up.

Now, I said white-washing was not something I would discuss because better words have been written elsewhere, so I’ll just leave you with these quotes by Scarlett Johansson:

I think this character is living a very unique experience in that she has a human brain in an entirely machinate body. I would never attempt to play a person of a different race, obviously. Hopefully, any question that comes up of my casting will be answered by audiences when they see the film.

Right. Because the character having a brain that originally lived through a Japanese experience erases that character’s experiences when the film you’re heading makes the exact opposite case is totally not playing a character of a different race. Alright.

I certainly would never presume to play another race of a person. Diversity is important in Hollywood, and I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive.

Oh, Scarlett, honey. Have I Got News for You!

I understand part of her statements come from wanting to conceal the twist of the film, perhaps due some contractual obligation of  the sort or whatever, but they don’t exactly make Scarlett come off better, alright? (They also raise the question of why she accepted this role in the first place.)

This leads us to Orientalism. There are positive definitions of the term, but the one I’m going to go with is the Western tradition of outsider interpretations of Eastern cultures that feature prejudice, exoticisation, fetichisation, etc., as shaped by imperialistic narratives going back to the 18th and 19th centuries. This is not a good way to introduce the general audiences to other cultures, since it’s inherently disrespectful.

Which leads me, again, to the robo-geisha scene. Something I didn’t perceive during the preview, albeit I noticed now, is the fact that the robo geishas have the ability to interface with a human brain at all. (Brain-hacking, remember?) Later in the film, I believe at Dr. Dahlin’s lab, they are referred to as ‘companion bots’. I concede that the implication may or may not be sexual, however, I am inclined towards the latter interpretation due to the fact that the robo-geishas are based on the Hadaly robots from Ghost in the Shell: Innocence, and those robots are clearly sexual, explicitly stated to have non-essential parts as pertaining to their roles in order to function as sexdroids. This bothers me, since I find it hard to believe that future Japan would allow robots that work as geishas to be sexdroids, given the respect given to the geisha profession. To me, it reaks of the ‘geisha girl’ stereotype formed during the Allied Ocupation of Japan that underscores the Western belief that geisha are prostitutes.

So sexy.

There’s also the fact that there’s not many Japanese people in the film, as extras or in the cast. Yes, I know, didn’t I say about a million words before now that I didn’t mind that? Incorrect, I said I didn’t mind the lack of spoken Japanese, given that it is a logical assertion that can be inferred from the setting. But for a film set in Japan, to not have Japanese people other than a couple characters here and there… Maybe six or seven years ago I read a film review about a film that had been white-washed, too, and had issues with Orientalism. Let me paraphrase one of the lines that struck me the most: This is the perfect white-people’s dream; they get to enjoy the Asian culture without all the pesky Asian people in it. (Now, this doesn’t go for all white people, of course, but that quote is seriously perfect. I believe I read it on a The Last Airbender review?)

I’m sure someone with more knowledge of Japanese culture would be able to point out more instances, but these are the two that jumped at me.

Then there’s the Eurocentrism. Eurocentrism is a term that describes notions of European exceptionality; sort of like ‘manifest destiny’ but for a whole continent. It’s another colonialist narrative.

Usually, I wouldn’t have given much thought to the fact that the Major has a brain in another body. I mean, this is a transhumanist narrative, right? However, I believe I have to take that in context of the film, and what it means for the viewer. And throughout the film, the Major is called ‘beautiful’. Kuze calls her that, Dr. Ouelet calls her that, various creeps calls her that, and certainly Scarlett Johansson herself is a fine example of conventional, feminine, Western beauty ideal. That’s fair enough. But  when this film can’t be bothered to feature a single Japanese character, aside from Aramaki and Togusa, amongst the main cast, it becomes problematic. And when Dr. Ouelet tells the Major that she’s ‘what everyone will become’, it’s skeevy.

Kuze is seen here not looking Japanese.

In-universe, Dr. Ouelet refers to her body as ‘perfect’, that the pinnacle of directed human evolution is to cast aside everything but our minds. In context with the viewer, however, given the whole white-washing thing, the subtext is that everyone will be white. There is literally no other way this can be interpreted, given that Kuze is stuck in a white male’s body, and he was originally a Japanese youth named Hideo; and Dr. Ouelet implies his failure was just another step towards the future — towards Major Mira Killian. It isn’t really helped by how the Major at the end of the film is warmly received by her mum — which is great for her character, don’t get me wrong! — but wearing Scarlett’s face, with a brain that explicitly came from Japanese runaway Motoko Kusanagi (played by Japanese actress Kaori Yamamoto). When we live in a world where, in many places, the only way to be beautiful ideal is the Western beauty ideal, this is completely unacceptable. (Each word is a link.)

The final expression of Eurocentrism in the film comes from the fact that all scientists and people associated with high-tech employment are not Japanese, whether we’re talking about the people who were fussing over Batou after he gets his new eyes or everyone who is alligned with Hanka Robotics. I have to say that this normally wouldn’t ping on my radar, if at all, were it not for all the points I blathered on above. You see, Shirow Masamune’s Ghost in the Shell manga was published in the 80s, the time where Japan was deemed the technological powerhouse of the world.  It was written in that context. Even with all the lack of Japanese people, I would have expected for there to be Japanese people working as employees for Hanka as a sort of way to pay homage to that historical context in which the work was made. But all the cutting edge tech is developed, and assessed by Europeans or European-looking people, such as Dr. Ouelet or Dr. Dahlin. It’s such a little thing, but it adds up to the snowball of ugliness.

Dr. Ouelet, seen here whitesplaining to Major.

I understand the filmmakers didn’t intend any of this since they cared so much to make future Japan so awesome, and they paid proper attention to the source material, and so on and so forth. But! And this is a big ‘but’! Intentions do not matter when they harm people or promote narratives that harm people worldwide. And these issues just described feed into each other; the colonialists narratives of Eurocentrism and and Orientalism are reinforced by the whitewashing of the casting. I can explain away a lot, however, there comes a tipping point where I cannot explain away the erasure of Japanese people from a Japanese narrative set in Japan.

And this, this is why I could not bring myself to rec this film.

Critical Hits & Misses #340

Now you listen here, Old Man.... --Rey, probably
Get off my lawn, Millenial punk! --Luke, probably

• In a battle more brutal than the Rebellion and the Empire, a war is being waged online. Two generations of Star Wars fans fight over whether or not The Last Jedi was good. (Spoilers)


• Goddammit. TJ Miller of Silicon Valley and Deadpool fame has been accused of sexual assault, and is denying it.  

For today's musical hit, we have Christmas Booty. You're welcome.

Today's critical rolls: What side of the force are you on? By which I mean, what did you actually think of The Last Jedi. Please start your post with a spoiler tag if you're going to be talking about sensitive stuff. 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Blockbusters: Thor Ragnarok vs. Justice League

Superhero movies are big business these days and during the times when a genre is big business, everyone wants to be releasing as many of them as possible. That this eventually leads to a bubble is an article for another time. No, the point this time is that eventually there starts being some overlap between some releases, and since there were two major Superhero releases and I'm desperately trying to release some content, I thought I'd compare and contrast them, in a series of categories I'm more or less making up as I go.




Expectations:

Thor Ragnarok

As I've said on multiple occasions, I've got a little tired of the MCU lately, which gave Thor a pretty major uphill climb to start with, especially when you consider that the previous Thor movies are probably the weakest ones in the entire MCU, with the possible exception of Iron Man 2 (and that Hulk movie Marvel hopes we've all forgotten) and Thor: The Dark World is probably the worst of the MCU movies.

That said, there were reasons to expect some good things out of this. The director of this outing is Taika Waititi, who previously directed What We Do In The Shadows and Hunt For The Wilderpeople, both of which are excellent films that deserved to be watched. So perhaps, I thought to myself, this movie could be okay, could even be pretty good.

Justice League

If there was a bar that could be lower for a movie than the one for Justice League I don't know what it could be. To start, while Wonder Woman was a genuinely excellent movie, the other movies in the franchise range from Pretty Bad (Man of Steel) to Oh My God Make It Stop (Batman v. Superman). Add in the horrifying event Snyder's family endured during production, the switch between directors and the massive rounds of reshoots and recuts supposedly happening behind the scenes, and it seems like we're lucky the movie even came out at all.

The Casts:



Thor Ragnarok

Both of these movies are ensemble focused, and Thor has an incredibly impressive one. From our long standing series greats like Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Idris Elba, to our newcomers like Jeff Goldblum, Tessa Thompson and Cate Blanchett, the cast of this movie is a laundry list of great actors. All of them very attractive.

And they all turn in great work. Yeah we knew that Cate Blanchett would be giving us a great performance (and let me be clear, she's basically perfect) and Chris Hemsworth is a perfect Thor, but Jeff Goldblum's comic timing is still completely on point and it's shocking what a massive standout Tessa Thompson is, dominating the entire screen from the first scene she's in. I really hope we get to see more of her in later Marvel films, she's fantastic.



Justice League

Obviously the major standout from Justice League is was and always will be Gal Gadot. She's the central element of easily the best film in the DCEU. She's incredibly adept at selling her character and she totally dominates every scene she's in. The rest of the holdover cast is pretty good; Affleck still looks a little disinterested in this role, but he's getting better, Jeremy Irons is still great and hey, Cavill gets to act like a human being.

The new cast is a mixed bag. Erza Miller is genuinely entertaining as The Flash and while the movie doesn't give him a whole lot to do outside of punching things, I actually really liked Ray Fisher as Cyborg. The big letdown is, surprisingly, Jason Momoa. He's certainly a big guy and kind of cool outside the movie, but something about him is just not clicking with his performance. He has shockingly little screen presence in movie and between this and his performance in Conan, I'm starting to worry his good performance as Khal Drogo was a fluke (Note: I haven't seen Stargate Atlantis).

Story and Script:

Thor Ragnarok

Our story this time around starts out as yet another Thor story: Thor is flung out of Asgard, Asgard is in peril in his absence, he must find his way back, he's got Loki (who remains a treacherous little s**t) and some other secondary characters at his back. You get the basic idea, we've seen it twice before.

But then something odd happens around the midpoint. Once the film finally gets its plot squared away, it becomes a well written character focused piece with metaphors about owning your history and making up for your family's mistakes. There's a lot of good character work and fantastic dialogue in the latter half, that really kept me involved in the final battle, something that a lot of MCU movies have had trouble doing.



Justice League

It's the plot of The Avengers. I don't want to trash it, it's a good solid foundation for a plot, but well, there's a magical square shaped macguffin that a guy from outer space is looking for so he can open a portal to a place where his army is waiting, requiring a group of heroes to team up to bring him down, even though they don't initially get along. It's just the plot of The Avengers with the names replaced a couple extra beats.

It's in those extra beats that we see the scars of the film's long and troubled production, with several moments are so tonally out of step with not only the rest of the film but the rest of the DCEU that it might as well be playing in a different theater. The film is clearly pretending that huge chunks of Batman v. Superman either didn't happen or happened completely differently than it did, and while everyone has seen the fun scene where Batman and Flash are talking about getting into a fight, that scene is in the middle of a sequence where Steppenwolf is torturing and murdering civilians. The film is clearly the result of a troubled production and occasionally seems to have been edited with a machete.

Action:



Thor Ragnarok

For a superhero film, Thor is surprisingly light on the action, preferring to spend most of its 2nd act in character work, with only the fight between Thor and the Hulk (plus occasional jumps back to Asgard) really doing most of the action. It heats up in the third act and the final action beat is incredibly engaging, but up until that point, it's pretty dialogue focused. That's not a complaint, I like that about it.

Justice League

This is one of those places where Justice League is an unambiguous success. From Gal Gadot's incredible physical presence to the way they actually manage to include Cyborg and Batman in the action scenes to even the way they manage to make Flash work. Yes, I'm still waiting for a better film visualization of super speed than the one in Days of Future Past, but this one is still pretty good... even if the lightning surrounding the Flash never stops looking silly.

Conclusion:

I could not have gone into these two movie with lower expectations than these two, so I will say that both managed to surprise me. I expected to hate Justice League and honestly, I can honestly say that I didn't even dislike it. Heck, I may have even kind of liked it. I might see it again when it hits DVD.

But in every comparison episode, there must always be a winner, and this time around, the clear winner is Thor Ragnarok, shooting up the roster of Best MCU Movie to land near the top and giving me hope for the megafranchise yet. So if you've somehow gotten to December without seeing both of these, give them both a shot.

But go see Thor first.

Elessar is a 27 year old Alaskan-born, Connecticut-based, cinephile with an obsession with The Room and a god complex. 

Critical Hits & Misses #339

*judges you in Jedi*

• Mark Hamill is having none of your bullshit, Teddy. Hamill burns Ted Cruz for 'smarm-splaining' net neutrality to him. New word. I approve. 


• Not all heroes wear capes. Sometimes they wear shields. Chis Evans (and Netflix, and others) react to the FCC's decision to repeal Net Neutrality. 

For today's musical hit, we have Thomas Rhett and "Marry Me"

Today's critical rolls: I need some new tunes on my playlist. Hit me with some of your favorite music/artists/videos!

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #338

• Surprising nobody, The Last Jedi wrecked at the box office on Thursday night, suggesting this weekend may be one of the biggest ever. 


• Because Star Wars weekend, USA Today ranks the other 8 flicks in the franchise. See if you agree!

For today's musical hit, we are keeping with the theme of the day, so have the Main theme from The Last Jedi by the eternal John Williams.

Today's critical rolls: NO SPOILERS IN THE COMMENTS PLZ. What's on the agenda for the weekend? Does it involve The Last Jedi? Did you already see it, and love it/hate it? 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #337

• Popular Marvel Bad Boy Loki is getting a new series of novels in 2019, and even better? He's going to be pansexual and genderfluid. Yes plz!


• This in-depth article over at Wired discusses the strange case of the DDOS attacks that nearly brought down the internet, all in the name of Minecraft. 

For today's musical hit, we have G-Eazy with Halsey on Jimmy Kimmel, with "Him & I"

Today's critical rolls: Happy Star Wars day! Are you excite? Are you hype?

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Critical Hits & Misses #336

• Merriam-Webster has named the word of the year for 2017 to be "feminism." Hmm, pandering to SJWs, it appears. 


• Our favorite reluctant badass heroine gets a new trailer and a premiere date, finally! Cannot wait for Jessica Jones season 2!

For today's musical hit, we have Lindsey Stirling's "Angels We Have Heard On High"

Today's critical rolls: What's YOUR word of the year? Mine is "creeper." Not because I like it, but because I've used it a LOT of late, unfortunately.

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #335

• Big Brother is watching and you pay him around $10 a month: Netflix put out kind of a creepy mocking message about the exactly 53 subscribers who have watched A Christmas Prince 18 days in a row. O... k? This article actually talks about privacy and how Netflix could, in the future, be using your data. 


• The internet using its powers for good: Rotten Apples lets you know what movies to avoid in order to not support creepers. 

For today's musical hit, we have Sheryl Crow's "The Dreaming Kind"

Today's critical rolls: Okay, if you had to watch ANY movie for 18 days straight (for like, I don't know, world peace or something), what would it be and why?

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Critical Hits & Misses #334

*judges you in Ice*

• Queen Elsa (aka Idina Menzel), has something to say to Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao, who has decided that victims of sexual harassment have to "let it go." 


• Wired has an excellent piece on how corporate boards have been complicit in sexual harassment for decades, as claims by victims have gone unpunished or paid off to silence, and serial sexual harassers are kept around when they make good profit. 

For today's musical hit, we have Eminiem's "Untouchable"

Today's critical rolls: Made it to another Friday! What's on the agenda for the weekend?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #333

Not all heroes wear capes. Jeremy Slater doesn't. Probably. 

• Today in "TV You Should Be Watching Right the Eff Now And So Should I," The Exorcist showrunner Jeremy Slater doesn't give a fuck if homophobes were upset about a gay kiss. Involving a bisexual priest. Sign me up right now!


• The Washington Post analyzes the past winners of Time's Person of the Year, and how rare it is for an individual woman to win the title, and how an individual American woman has never won. Ironically, this year's Person of the Year, the "Silence Breakers" (aka all the women who have come forward recently about sexual harassment), exemplifies the problem perfectly. 

For today's musical hit, we have Lindsey Stirling and "Silent Night"

Today's critical rolls: Gay kisses are awesome and popping up a lot more these days in media. What's your favorite gay/bi/trans/etc kiss in visual media? Personally I thought Captain Cold and The Ray were entirely too adorable on the Arrowverse Crossover a couple of weeks ago. 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #332

• It's good to have allies. John Oliver got into a feud with Dustin Hoffman over the allegations of sexual harassment, with Oliver defending the woman who has accused Hoffman. The actor fired back, but whatever, dude. We've got your number. John Oliver is a national treasure. 


• In this excellent article at The Hollywood Reporter, Steven Spielberg and Meryl Streep discuss why they decided to very quickly put together The Post, a film about Washington Post publisher Katharine Graham, who famously made the decision back in 1971 to post the Pentagon Papers, a momentous decision. Graham's story has never been told on the big screen, and was left out of the Watergate drama All The President's Men. This important woman will finally have her story told, and it's largely in part because of the current climate in Hollywood due to the Weinstein scandal, and the ensuing wave of allegations that have rippled through the industry since. 

For today's musical hit, we have Demi Lovato and "Tell Me You Love Me"

Today's critical roll: There aren't nearly enough biopics about women in history, as important female figures like Katharine Graham are often cut out of the stories told by men about men. Hidden Figures was a welcome change, and it sounds like The Post might be too. Whatever other historical women would you like to see get biographical movies that do them justice? 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #331

• And the hits keep on coming to the entertainment industry. Danny Masterson, star of Netflix's The Ranch, has been fired from the series following multiple rape allegations. Netflix has come under fire for not responding sooner, since police have been investigating since March.


• Err, do not want. Quentin Tarantino wants to make a Star Trek movie.  Forbes discusses the pros and cons. As a longtime Trek fan, I see mostly cons. 

For today's musical hit, we have 88Glam and "Bali"

Today's critical rolls: Look, we already had JJ Abrams come in and try to make Star Trek everything that it isn't, so like CAN WE NOT with Tarantino? What do you think? Yay or nay to Tarantino taking on Roddenberry's vision?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #330

• I guess WB execs were paid off by Disney too, right, DC fans? Because Newsarama reports that Snyder was almost fired before Justice League was made, but wasn't only because of Time Warners' impending merger with AT&T, and firing a major director would have looked bad. 


• Welp, looks like Hollywood isn't the only male-dominated industry full of shitheads. And we're not talking about stand-up comedy. Or politics. Or corporate America. Or... well you get the idea. This time it's Classic Musical that has a sexual harassment problem. Yeah... you read that right. Classical Music. This is me throwing my hands up in the air and giving up on humanity. 

For today's musical hit, we have Linkin Park's "Crawling (One More Light Live)"

Today's critical rolls: The holidays are right around the corner. What's your take on gift-giving? Do you do it? Do you prefer to hand-make items? Have you hit the mall yet? What kind of stuff do you like to receive, in turn?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #329

• Sexual harassment is a daily topic of discussion now, with all these allegations spilling out of various industries. But not all women can agree on what constitutes sexual harassment. This fascinating article talks about the differences between how women over 50, and how Millenial women, perceive interactions with men. 


• Fellow The Last Jedi costars break our hearts but make us laugh as they tell stories of Carrie Fisher on set in what became her last movie. We still miss you, Carrie. 

For today's musical hit, have the fabulous Lindsey Stirling and "Christmas C'mon"

Today's critical rolls: What's on the agenda for the weekend?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #328

• Some people out there have complained about Thor: Ragnarok's Valkyrie, played by the fabulous Tessa Thompson, being a male-coded character. Stitch's Media Mix has an excellent post about those people aren't just sexist... they're racist to boot. 


• In between all the rage we're feeling (and a lot of relief that this shit is FINALLY being aired out, for the sake of the victims) about the epidemic of sexual harassment coming out Hollywood, the news industry, the stand-up industry, one thing we haven't really talked about is how to deal with the pain and disappointment that comes from finding out that someone you worked with/loved/admired/were a fan of turned out to be a gross person. Sarah Silverman covered this on her show when she discussed the allegations against Louis C.K., asking can you love someone who did bad things? This excellent opinion blog over at CNN examines the pain, and why the Matt Lauer case in particular felt like a betrayal. 

For today's musical hit, we have Daniel Caesar and "Freudian, A Visual"

Today's critical rolls: I don't know about you, but I've had a lot of disappointment come at me in droves of late with all these sexual harassment scandals, and I DO feel betrayed by artists and newscasters that I've previously admired. Have any of these recent allegations caused you to feel conflicted or disappointed and not sure what to do about the art some of these people have produced?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #327

You, Mr. Yates, are a ridiculous rape culture-y muggle that needs to STFU

• This is why Hollywood is getting wrecked by all these sexual harassment scandals: because assholes like Fantastic Beasts 2 director David Yates still say dumb shit like this in defense of wife beaters like Johnny Depp and think it's perfectly okay to say dumb shit like this. *cough* Alleged wife beater, I guess. 


• The Arrowverse is a little less skivvy these days, now that the WB has fired Executive Producer Andrew Kreisberg for gross behavior towards women, in order go foster a safer and happier work environment for cast and crew. Good call, WB. 

For today's musical hit, we have Pitbull and "Por Favor"

Today's critical rolls: Did you watch the Arrowverse Crossover this week? If so, what did you think? If not, are you planning on watching it?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #326

• Forbes has a bit of snark for DC fans who claim that there is some mass media conspiracy against Zach Snyder and the DC movies: facts and numbers show that traditionally, critics have liked Snyder films more than actual movie goers have. 


• Marvel comics recently announced a secret surprise wedding in the comics, but like, more people cared about the engagement announcement between Britain's Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

For today's musical hit, we have rising artisti OMB Peezy and "Doin Bad"

Today's critical rolls: Are you curious about the secret Marvel wedding? Or maybe you're more excited about Prince Harry's pending nuptials? Or maybe you only care about the West-Allen/Ollicity weddings going on in the Crossover this week on the CW? Or maybe no weddings at all?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #325

• What happens to the MCU after Infinity War sends Robert Downey Jr.'s Tony Stark into retirement? The Hollywood Reporter takes a look at some of the possibilities, including one annoying storyline that hopefully never happens (we want Riri instead of Teen Tony, okay?)


• Pixar's Coco opened this past weekend in theaters, and instantly shot up to the #1 spot, especially in Mexico, where it was the #1 movie ever. 

For today's musical hit, I promise I won't torture us all with Christmas music from here until actual Christmas (I personally can't stand most Christmas music), but here's Pentatonix with a nifty take on "Deck the Halls"

Today's critical rolls: So Riri Williams (or even Rhodey) as the new Iron Man, emirite? What about some of the other heroes? Do you think they could pull off female Thor in the movies? And who should take up the mantle of Captain America?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #324

Editor's Note: Thursday is Thanksgiving in the US and Friday is the busiest shopping day of the year (and a day off for us), so this is the last CH&M for the week. Wherever you are, we wish you a wonderful weekend! See you next Monday!

• Forbes has an in-depth analysis of what it might mean for the DCEU's future now that Justice League hasn't really lived up to expectations at the box office. 


• Uproxx discusses how the fallout of the sexual harassment plague in Hollywood should affect every man in the US, and how even "good" men need to stop trying to remove themselves from the implications. 

For today's musical hit, it's almost Christmas, so have Sia and "Santa's Coming For Us"

Today's critical rolls: If you're in the US, are you looking forward to Thanksgiving and Black Friday? If you're not in the US, what's on the agenda for the weekend?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #323

• Uproxx reviews the first four episodes of Hulu's new Marvel adaptation, Runaways. It's spoiler-free, so don't worry if you read it before you get to see the series.


• She's not wrong: Natalie Portman points out that Hollywood's rampant sexual harassment problem stems from the fact that there aren't many women working on sets and especially in suits at the higher levels of the industry. Yup. 

For today's musical hit, we have Theophilus London and "Why Even Try"

Today's critical rolls: Are you excited about Runaways? Or maybe there's another original series out of the streaming services--Hulu, Amazon, Netflix--that you're excited about instead? Let us know!

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #322

• So uhh. Justice League. About that opening weekend... (ouch) Editor's Note: to be honest, JL didn't deserve such a dismal opening, it paid the unfortunate price for the crap that was BvS. JL is a decent enough popcorn flick and there's a good amount of Wonder Woman and cinnamon roll Flash to make it worth the ticket price. 


• Yeah, can we not? Suzanne Somers and Megyn Kelly have a 'hilarious' conversation about marital rape, and it's not a good look. Ha... Ha...Ha?

For today's musical hit, have Chance the Rapper, Kenan Thompson, and Chris Redd doing "Come Back, Barack" on SNL. We agree with the sentiment

Today's critical rolls: How was your weekend? Let us know if you saw any good movies or did anything exciting!

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #321

• Normally I wouldn't bother to mention sexual harassment by politicians, because political sex scandals are like mass shootings in this US: same shit different day. Still Senator Al Franken isn't just another politician, he's also formerly a comedian and actor, which brings more light to some fuck-up rape culture in entertainment industries. Perhaps of greater note in this Mic story about Franken, though, is the statement that he has put out. Take note, scumbags of the Earth: this is how you actually do an apology correctly for this sort of thing. 


• Wondering what movies to see this holiday season? Newsday has you covered with the list of what to check out. 

For today's musical hit, and because Luis Fonsi wrecked at the Latin Grammy's, here's Fonsi and his smash hit, "Despacito"

Today's critical rolls: The weekend is here! What's it going to be? Justice League? Punisher? Both? Neither? Let us know!

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits and Misses #320

• Uggh can we not, please? Popbuzz reports that a magazine has called Milly Bobby Brown, the young star of Stranger Things, sexy. You know, at 13 years of age. FFS, people. 


• We had already reported that Andrew Kreisberg, showrunner for the CW's Arrowverse, has been suspended due to accusations of sexual harassment. This Variety report has a lot of the details, including direct-from-the-victims reporting on what actually went on. TW. 

For today's musical hit, we have Oscar Isaac and "Fare Thee Well"

Today's critical rolls: People magazine has named country music homophobe Blake Shelton the sexiest man alive, because I guess all other men have died without me noticing. Who would have made a much better choice for the title, in your opinion? Feel free to nominate more than one sexy man. 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #319

• The Waypoint blog reviews a new tabletop game, Dragons Conquer America, that attempts to tell the conquest of Mexico by Spain with a conscious awareness of how shitty colonialism was. Did they succeed? Read the review to find out. 


• Stranger Things star Finn Wolfhard, aka Mike, is publicly condemning a 27-year old model who posted inappropriate and sexual comments about the 14 year old star. This is good, the next generation of stars is growing up watching the sleaze drool out of Hollywood right now, and they are not putting up with this shit. The article goes on to detail harassment that the stars of the popular Netflix series are having to endure. People, for reals, though, leave these kids alone, FFS. 

For today's musical hit, we have Fallout Boy's "Hold Me Tight or Don't"

Today's critical rolls: If you have kids, or want kids, or even if you don't... would you let your kids be child stars? Would YOU have wanted to be a child star? 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #318

• It's been a crappy year in America, but also a great year for political artists, who have been given plenty of material by 45.


• Supergirl star Melissa Benoist speaks out about the recent suspension of Andrew Kreisberg, showrunner for Supergirl and The Flash, for 19 claims of sexual harassment against him. Supergirl, we need your girl power more than ever.  

For today's musical hit, here, have this beautiful and epic orchestral piece from Two Steps From Hell, with "El Dorado"

Today's critical rolls: As a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Did you achieve it or are working towards achieving it now? If not, what are you doing instead and are you happy?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #317

• Wow, can we fucking not? Naturally fabulous and gorgeous Lupita Nyong'o--who has spoken at length about her struggles to love her skin and hair--is criticizing Grazia UK for altering her hair for a cover photo. 


• Another one bites the dust. Comedian Louis CK has admitted that the stories of his grossness are true, and as a result, the premiere of his movie "I Love You, Daddy," has been cancelled. He has issued an apology that is phenomenally well-written, including an apology to everyone involved in the projects that will likely now be cancelled and shuttered as a result of this scandal, resulting in lost wages and livelihood for a bunch of people. Still an asshole. 

For today's musical hit, we have Eminem and Beyonce with "Walk On Water"

Today's critical rolls: Happy Friday! What's on the agenda for the weekend?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #316

• Well, I mean, everything is awful, but the silver lining is that women are feeling empowered now to come out in droves against disgusting men. Five women have come out claiming comedian Louis CK crossed a line into sexual misconduct. These rumors have plagued Louis CK for a while, but this is the first time any women have publicly come out against him. Tell me again, boys, that there is no such thing as rape culture and it's all in our heads. 


• Reddit is doing yet more of taking out the trash: the popular social site has banned misogynist group that blamed women for said men not getting any sex. GTFO!

For today's musical hit, I need something to cleanse my palate of all the grossness. Have some purity in the form of Lindsey Stirling and "Lost Girls"

Today's critical rolls: It's free-for-all Thursday, now talk amongst yourselves. 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Arrowverse Real Talk - Featuring The Flash

I have not been blogging about the Arrowverse this Fall season, and the reasons for that are many, including not having as much time as I did last year. That said, a good chunk of my lack of motivation has come from the fact that most of the Arrowverse is a goddamn hot mess this year.

Supergirl started off obnoxious and featuring a couple of lesbians arguing constantly about the most asinine wedding decisions (DJ? Live Band? This argument took a whole episode to resolve!), although there was an attempt in the third episode to tell Maggie's story and feature her homophobic Mexican father who came up with a bogus AF reason for not wanting to be at her wedding. That was also a pretty decent episode because Kara wasn't the main feature; she goes up to Mars to help J'onn take care of some personal business, and it was overall a damn fine story. However, Supergirl has the Iris West problem: it doesn't know what the hell to do with its primary black character that isn't superpowered/alien, aka James Olsen. Last season he was all about doing good as the Guardian. This season, not only has he not done jack shit as the Guardian, but then his job as head of Catco gets taken away by Lena Luthor. Which, admittedly, I love all the Lena, and oh my god I ship Lena and Kara so hard... but not at the expense of a black character, FFS.

Hey guys! Remember me? Cuz my writers don't!

Arrow is... not bad, but it's not spectacular either. I'm still with it because it has its moments, and +1 internets for Stephen Amell managing to sneak in a Bruce Wayne reference that made fans titter. I've somewhat enjoyed the Oliver-as-single-dad storyline, but I'm giving this show's writer's the stink eye for what's going on with John Diggle (hey, another black character that the writers seem to engaging in some wtfuckery with). And look, as much as I hated how they killed off Katie Cassidy's Black Canary in season 4, can we just not with Black Siren? She's so shoehorned-in and forced, it's not even funny.

Guys, remember me? GOOD BECAUSE I WILL NEVER LET YOU FORGET EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WITH THE STORY RAWR!!1!!11

Legends of Tomorrow has been 100% fabulous and you should go watch it right now. The reason for this is because both the writers and the actors of the show have all come to the conclusion that they are on the campiest show on the CW, and goddamn it, they are going to have fun with it! Legends has featured ridiculously hilarious stories of the Legends bumbling their way to heroic acts, the actors are clearly having a blast along the way, and I walk away every week with a smile on my face.

Camp has never looked this good before. 

But dear god, The Flash what in the Nine Hells are you doing?

Easily the worst of the four superhero shows on the CW, The Flash has hurt to watch sometimes. Barry is brought back within seconds after last season's "cliffhanger" (I called it, someone owes me $20, Barry didn't even last a full episode off of his show), and he finds that Iris has taken charge of Team Flash in the meantime. Which, on a surface level, I am totally fine with. Iris needed to do something, as she's been anything but useful in the previous seasons. I'm happy that Iris has taken front and center and that even after Barry's return, she still has a take-charge attitude.

But this show still doesn't know what to do with Caitlin Snow. We finally got a decent episode last night with Caitlin showing that she and Killer Frost have a tense coexistence but at least we can have them both, which is cool. But until last night, Caitlin has just been putzing around in the background, not really doing much. Which has been a problem with her character for four straight seasons.

Inexplicably, The Flash shoved aside fan favorite Kid Flash, ostensibly because the special effects for two speedsters at the same time were too expensive, and also because the show's writers apparently couldn't conceive of creating stories for Wally that didn't involve his speedster abilities. That sound you're hearing is me rolling my eyes because the Firestorm special effects are expensive for Legends of Tomorrow too, and yet magically, the writers of that show have figured out how to write stories for Jax and Martin that don't require them to fire up in every episode. Fancy, that. So Kid Flash got written off the show for reasons, although he's supposed to be back for the wedding crossover special. But there goes another black hero, running off into the sunset.

Don't run, Wally. Don't run.

What makes me really angry about this is that they replaced Kid Flash with another superpowered dude, this time the Elongated Man, and I get that maybe it's slightly cheaper to stretch Ralph's limbs as a special effect than to do a speedster, but really? Your excuse for getting rid him was that it was too expensive to keep a speedster around, so you replace him with a superpowered white guy? To further rub salt in the wound, Elongated Man had a pretty decently amusing introductory episode, but then completely ruins the character last night in "Girls Night Out" by making Ralph a really gross misogynist playboy who forces Barry's bachelor party into a strip club so Ralph can make continuously gratuitous leering at dancers. It took exactly one episode for me to hate this character. I'm pretty sure that's a new record. Even Marvel's Inhumans took the time to make its wooden and terribad main characters hateful to the audience over the course of five or six episodes.

"Girls Night Out" wasn't a totally terrible episode, because it did feature Iris, Caitlin, Felicity, and Cecile having to save the day from the weekly bad guy while Barry is off getting hilariously drunk thanks to Cisco. If the episode had been only about the ladies getting to be heroic, it would have been amazing.

This is my "WTF was that strip club subplot all about" face too, Felicity

While I deeply appreciated Barry's de facto drunken state being that he stands at the bar shouting "I am the Flash!" to a bunch of equally as drunk strangers who cheer for him every time, the whole strip club scene was seven levels of awkward and potentially really disturbing. Besides Ralph being gross the whole time, there was this weird subplot about Cecile's adult daughter dancing at the club as research for a book she's writing about feminism and the male gaze, which okay, I can kind of dig it. But there are some weird undertones of incredible disrespect for sex workers. And frankly, it was a very odd subplot that came entirely out of left field and had something to do with Joe being a parent or something, and something something "I'm freaked out about Cecile being pregnant." This part of the episode was, at best, an incomprehensible tangent, and at worst, fucking gross.

Also, what is the point of Cecile's baby? I've heard a fan theory that Cecile and Joe's baby might be Bartholomew, who in Young Justice is Kid Flash from the future (and Barry's grandson) who comes back in time to hang out with Barry and Wally. Just what this show needs, another future black speedster who can get shoved off to the side too.

Can we talk about how The Thinker, this season's big bad, looks like Brainiac? No? Okay, but let's at least thank The Speed Force that it's not another flipping speedster.

Look, The Flash season four is not as bad as Arrow season four (thank Dog), but I feel like this show is still lost and hasn't quite found its footing, something it lost way back in season two after a wonderfully fun and vibrant season one. The writers really need to find whatever muse it was that let them finally tell a compelling story about Iris and Caitlin being a part of an all-lady hero team, and stick with it, because that was good stuff. Whatever the hell else is going on with this show, though? It needs to get it together.

There is a silver lining to all of this, though. Nothing on the CW is as bad as Marvel's Inhumans.

But then again, very little is.

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

Critical Hits & Misses #315

TFW your superhero show took itself way too seriously

• The AV Club talks about why Marvel's Inhumans has been kind of the suck, and how the writers probably should have gone the route of Thor: Ragnarok and done intentional humor, instead of this srz bizness superpowered nonsense we've gotten. 


• Lin-Manuel Miranda wants to send a bold message, and he's going to do it by returning to Hamilton in Puerto Rico. NGL, this is awesome. Almost as awesome as Lin-Manuel Miranda tell the President of the United States, "You're going to hell." 

For today's musical hit,we have Dua Lipa and "New Rules"

Today's critical rolls: Have you watched Inhumans? What about The Gifted? Last year's Legion? Which of these shows about superpowered people/mutants do you like or hate? What needs to be renewed and what needs to go away for good?

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #314

This face, Disney?

• Yesterday we mentioned Taylor Swift's lawyer serving a cease-and-desist letter to a blogger who demanded Swift renounce her Nazi and white supremacist fans. Today, The Atlantic takes a deeper look at how Swift's Anti-PR Campaign is backfiring, by drawing more attention to her scumbag Nazi fans. 


• The House of Mouse tried to throw its weight around yet again, by blacklisting the LA Times from screening its movies just because the paper had run a story about Disney's dealings with the City of Anaheim, which angered the beast. Many news outlets, including the New York Times, stood in solidarity with the LA Times, calling out Disney over its nonsense, and forcing the movie behemoth to back off and lift the ban. TFW you realize you aren't ALL powerful master of the universe... yet... so like freedom of the press is actually a thing you have to respect. 

For today's musical hit, we have Bishop Briggs and "The Way I Do"

Today's critical rolls: Speaking of the House of Mouse and infinite power, there's been talk that Disney is looking at possibly purchase Fox (ie the movie division). Whether that is true or not, is that something you would look forward to? Joining the Disney (aka Marvel) and Fox (aka X-Men and Fantastic Four) universes together? 

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.