For today's musical hit, we have Sia and "Cheap Thrills"
Today's critical rolls: It's Monday, it's officially fall, and we're talking about dragons (none of these things are necessarily related, mind you). Would you want a dragon? What would you name them? What color would their scales be?
Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.
For today's musical hit, we have Andra's "Love Can Save It All"
Today's critical rolls: With all the trailers and news that came out of SDCC this weekend, what are you excited about?
Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.
Hope our readers are doing better today. I suddenly got this stuck in my head earlier, and the lyrics just suddenly clicked better than they ever have; today's music is Under Pressure by David Bowie and Queen.
Critical Roll of the Day: What shows, movies or books do you read when you need a pick-me-up?
— Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: Be kind, rewind, and be good to one another.
After a whirlwind of unpleasantness in Season 5 of Game of Thrones, which caused many fans to quit the show entirely, HBO decided to play with our emotions even further by making Season 6 the most lady-centric season of the series ever.
In that recap, I neglected to delve into the details around the very young (but undeniably venerable) ruler that is Lyanna Mormont, Lady of Bear Island. At the time I was wrapping up my recap (3:00 AM, to be exact), I was so focused on each character arc that I felt Lady Mormont’s was too small to include (just as I did with Lady Olenna, and wrapped Queen Margaery’s into Cersei’s recap). It was foolish of me and I hope to rectify this error here.
First, some history:
Bear Island
As far back as 10,000 years before the events Game of Thrones, control of Bear Island was won in a wrestling match between a Stark and an Ironborn. The Stark then gifted the island to the Mormonts, who had been loyal allies of the Starks up until then and thus remained ever since. Fast-forward thousands of years and the Lord of Bear Island, Jeor Mormont, takes the Black and passes rulership to his good-for-nothing son, Jorah Mormont, who eventually gets banished from Westeros (and winds up following Daenerys Targaryen). The Lordship of Bear Island then transitions to Maege Mormont, Jeor Mormont’s sister. She fights for Robb Stark and ultimately dies in the War of the Four Kings, leaving lordship to her 10-year-old daughter, Lyanna Mormont.
SEASON 6 SPOILERS AHEAD
Lyanna Mormont, Lady of Bear Island
We first feel Lyanna Mormont’s presence in Season 5, when Stannis Baratheon petitions the many houses of the North to back his claim for the throne. In what we will later discover to be Lyanna’s standard mode of blunt, no-fuss, no-bullshit way of speaking, she has her ravens deliver Stannis her personally-written reply:
"Bear Island knows no King but the King in the North, whose name is Stark"
Lyanna appears for the first time on-screen in S06E07 "The Broken Man" when Sansa Stark and Jon Snow plead with Lyanna for her allegiance and support in their endeavor to retake Winterfell and the North from Ramsay Bolton. Sansa bungles an attempt at flattery, not anticipating that Lyanna is uninterested in such things as beauty standards:
"I remember when you were born, my lady. You were named for my aunt Lyanna. It's said she was a great beauty. I'm sure you will be too." "I doubt it. My mother wasn't a great beauty, or any other kind of beauty. She was a great warrior, though. She died fighting for your brother Robb."
Snap. She’s not impressed much with Jon Snow either, and points out that Sansa has been married off twice now, to a Lannister and a Bolton, questioning their legitimacy entirely. This kid is brutal. Fortunately, for Sansa and Jon, they brought Davos with them. Part of me thinks that Davos just has a magical way with children, much like he did with Shireen Baratheon, charming them with his gruff, old grandpa demeanor. A more direct reasoning is that Davos meets Lyanna’s expectations by speaking to her with the deference she is owed, rather than talking down, patronizing, or seeking to control her. Lyanna agrees to back the Starks once more, and pledges her entire army of 62 fighting men to fight alongside Jon.
Lyanna Mormont throws shade at Ramsay Bolton on the field of battle
After the Starks retake Winterfell, all the Lords of the North gather there to discuss the next step. The men whine, hem, and haw until Lyanna has had enough. She shames them for their cowardice and makes her allegiance known:
"Your son was butchered at the Red Wedding, Lord Manderly, but you refused the call. You swore allegiance to House Stark, Lord Glover, but in their hour of greatest need, you refused the call. And you, Lord Cerwyn, your father was skinned alive by Ramsay Bolton. Still you refused the call. But House Mormont remembers. The North remembers. We know no king but the King in the North whose name is Stark. I don't care if he's a bastard. Ned Stark's blood runs through his veins. He's my king from this day until his last day."
Epic.
AFTERMATH
So what's next for the Lady of Bear Island? In our world, Lyanna Mormont is a welcome addition not only to Game of Thrones, but to the pop-culture lexicon and Internet memes. Don’t play, or Lyanna Mormont will call you out:
Me: I love LeBron
Lady Mormont: You stood against House LeBron when he went to Miami
Me: Damn it yeah you're right
I'd be remiss if I didn't also encourage you to read this great interview with Bella Ramsey, the 12-year-old actress who masterfully played Lyanna Mormont on the show. Regarding the HBO series, the upcoming seventh season of Game of Thrones has shaped up to be a War of the Queens, and it would unwise to not include Lyanna Mormont on the game board.
I’ll admit, part of me feels a bit emotionally manipulated by the showrunners giving Lyanna Mormont such an awesome array of scenes. As I said in my Season 6 recap, after the mistreatment of female characters, carelessness around sensitive and triggering imagery, and use of misogynistic tropes in Season 5 and the series as a whole, they cannot undo the damage they've done.
Still, isn’t Lyanna Mormont exactly the kind of heroic character we’ve been dying to see? The showrunners could have easily fallen back on a male character to meet the plot’s requirements, but opted instead to include Lyanna, and for that, I am appreciative.
My expectations are higher now, and if the showrunners botch Lyanna Mormont, by the old gods and the new, there will be hell to pay!
Will you answer the call?
Adrian Martinez is a graphic designer, comic book letterer, hobbyist writer, and all-around geek living in New York City.
After the fifth season of HBO's Game of Thrones, many long-time fans quit watching due to unsettling and ongoing depictions of sexual violence. While unpleasant themes have always been a staple of the fantasy series, some fans decided they had seen enough to know that they had seen too much. I fully respect their choice.
Still, fans are fans, and being driven to stop watching is tricky: now that the HBO series has outpaced the books, George R.R. Martin revealed the ending of the book series and other key details to the show runners David Benioff and D.B. Weiss. If you’re still planning on reading the books, you might be stuck dodging spoilers for an unknown amount of time.
I opted to watch Season 6 and to my surprise, I was not let down. There were lots of big reveals, long-speculated theories confirmed, and even a bit of fun fan service. While that does not undo the negatives of past seasons, I've compiled Season 6 character recaps for the ladies of the show, because why not, plus some extra for those who want to be in the know, without the show.
COMPLETE SEASON 6 SPOILERS AHEAD
Arya: is subjected to a series of tricks and combat tests, while blind. Her sight is returned to her once she passes muster and is tasked with a new assassination: an actress who is playing Cersei in an inaccurate but moving stage reenactment of the events of Season 4. After finding the actress to be kind, Arya changes her mind about this whole death cult thing, and ditches them. She is hunted by the Waif until Arya tricks her into fighting in the dark. With Jaqen’s unspoken blessing, Arya returns to Westeros (!!) and assassinates Walder Frey! (!!!)
Melisandre: is having a crisis of faith after the death of both Stannis and Jon Snow. In a private moment, she removes her enchanted necklace and we see her true form of an old woman. Later, Davos convinces Melisandre to ask the Red God to revive Jon Snow… and it works! Jon Snow lives. Later, Davos discovers the remains of the wooden carving he made for Princess Shireen and realizes Melisandre is responsible for burning her at the stake. Davos confronts her and despite her pleas, Jon Snow banishes Melisandre from the North. Bye girl.
Fat Walda: gives birth to a son while her ruthless, calculating husband Roose Bolton gets stupid and doesn’t anticipate Ramsay’s incoming murder plan. With Roose dead, Fat Walda and the baby get eaten up when Ramsay sics his dogs on them. RIP Fat Walda. :\
Osha: and Rickon Stark are captured and brought to Ramsay Bolton, who murders Osha soon after, and uses Rickon Stark to taunt Sansa and Jon Snow from afar.
Brienne: rescues Sansa and Theon from Ramsay’s men when Sansa escapes Winterfell. Sansa finally agrees to employ Brienne’s services as a protector, and Brienne leads Sansa to Castle Black. It’s love at first sight when Tormund lays eyes on Brienne, but Brienne is horribly embarrassed by it. Hold that thought, shippers, there’s no Brienne x Tormund this season. Brienne is tasked by Sansa to rally houses to the Stark cause (to retake Winterfell) under her and Jon Snow. She encounters Jaime, perhaps for the last time as friends, and he insists she keep the Lannister valyrian steel sword he gave her.
Sansa: escapes Winterfell with Theon and is rescued by Brienne. She works to rally houses to her cause but initially rejects Littlefinger’s offer of help from the Vale. After giving her to “monsters who murdered my family” TWICE, it’s not hard to see why. When push comes to shove, she calls in Littlefinger and the Vale, saving Jon, Tormund, and the rest of Jon’s forces (bannermen and wildlings alike) in the Battle of Bastards, defeating Ramsay Bolton (but sadly, still losing Rickon when Ramsay murders him on the battlefield). She ends her marriage to Ramsay by leaving him in the kennel with his starving dogs. Ramsay is eaten alive! See ya, loser. Finally, Sansa rallies behind Jon’s case for King in the North, which succeeds, but a final glance between her and Littlefinger leaves us wondering if she’s conflicted.
Yara: swears revenge when her father, the Ironborn King, is mysteriously assassinated. She comes this close to clinching the Salt Throne (her uncle Euron assassinated the king, Balon) before Euron wins over the crowd. She takes Theon (who just returned home), steals THE ENTIRE Ironborn Fleet AND Euron’s plan to set sail for Meereen and make a deal with Daenerys Targaryen. Boss move.
Daenerys: is captured and sent to Vaes Dothrak to the Dothraki widows retirement home. With the help of Jorah and Daario, she locks herself in a room with all the Dothraki Khals and sets the place on fire. Only she emerges, unburned, causing the entire Dothraki horde at Vaes Dothrak to take the knee and swear fealty to her. Using her dragons, the Dothraki, intel from Varys, and a little Tyrion swagger, she saves Meereen from a siege, eradicates the Sons of the Harpy once and for all, and claims their siege ships. When Yara arrives, she makes a pact with the Ironborn fleet and in the closing shot of the season, Dany is off to the races, sailing across the Narrow Sea to Westeros.
Meera: is told by the Children of the Forest that Bran will need her help to fulfill his destiny as the Three-eyed Raven. While Bran is communing with the weirwood, he is able to see into the past and spectates a young Ned and... Lyanna Stark at Winterfell. He learns Hodor’s real name, Walder. When Bran goes too far and wanders into a vision of the Night King, he draws the white walkers to their location and Meera is forced to drag Bran to safety while Hodor sacrifices himself to… hold the door. :’( Meera and Bran are saved by Coldhands a.k.a… Bran’s uncle, Benjen Stark, who has been kept alive by the magic of the Children! He escorts them safely to The Wall (which he cannot pass) and Meera helps Bran commune again with the weirwood tree where Bran learns… Jon Snow is really the son of Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen! R+L=J confirmed.
Sand Snakes: murder Trystane, Doran, and Areo Hotah! I’m bummed about Areo. They speak with Lady Olenna of House Tyrell and offer an alliance, and not just with Dorne! Varys enters stage left, offering “fire and blood” of House Targaryen! But why would House Tyrell need a new ally, you ask? Well…
Cersei: mourns Myrcella. Cersei makes many attempts to regain her power and fails: getting on the small council (rejected), stopping the High Sparrow (stuffed), making friends with Olenna (denied), none of it takes. Until finally, Queen Margaery, who seems to be playing a long con with the High Sparrow to free her brother Loras, manages to convince her last remaining child, young King Tommen, to remove Cersei’s ONE CHANCE at beating her trial, by abolishing trial by combat (where The Mountain, now undead, would have acted as her champion).
With nothing left to lose, Cersei tasks Maester Qyburn to enact a scorched earth policy. Cersei stays home drinking wine (classic Cersei!) while Qyburn uses children (the ‘little birds’) to murder Maester Pycelle and set alight the massive cache of wildfire that lies beneath the Sept of Baelor… where ALL of Cersei’s enemies now wait. The High Sparrow, all the Sparrows, Kevan Lannister, Mace Tyrell, and even Queen Margaery are annihilated as the entire Sept and the surrounding area blows sky high. Devastated and unable to process this turn of events, young King Tommen throws himself from his window and dies.
While she did not anticipate Tommen’s actions, Cersei knows now that the prophecy set in motion years ago by Maggy the Frog is complete. Now, with nothing left to lose, Cersei finds herself crowned as the Queen of Westeros. Queen takes King. Check mate.
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This was an amazing season for the ladies of Game of Thrones, but I'll say again, that it doesn't negate the failures of the past. I still support those fans that have broken up with Thrones forever, and for all fans, past and present, I hope the next (and likely final) season of the show maintains an upward trajectory. I hope they've been listening in the writing room, and I hope that one day, when George R.R. Martin delivers the book series' final drafts, the story will move forward and upward, rather than regress into the mistakes of the past.
Until then, all hail Queen Cersei! Long... may she reign?
Adrian Martinez is a graphic designer, comic book letterer, hobbyist writer, and all-around geek living in New York City.
This article contains mild spoilers for HBO's Game of Thrones. Proceed at your own risk. In hindsight, I should have been watching the latest season of HBO's Game of Thrones with the intent to review and recap. As a fan of the A Song of Ice and Fire book series by George R.R. Martin, I was wary of the show at the start of season 6. To elaborate, season 5 was the weakest showing of the extremely popular series for me, in part because of controversial and problematic scenes (some of which were deviations from the book canon) which even led some fans to stop watching altogether, and perhaps because the fifth season's events partially coincided with the events of the fourth book, which is largely seen by fans as the weakest link of the book series. The latest season seems to have returned to form, with some marked improvements in writing, execution, and possibly even other more, uh, egalitarian considerations. Rather than go back and recap the entire season thus far (unless there is interest, please feel free to comment below, or let us know on Facebook and Twitter!), I'm going to analyze some of the lighter moments of HBO's Game of Thrones, starting with the latest ship to set sail, in the fandom at least.
Brienne x Tormund a.k.a. #BRIEMUND
It all began in S06E04 Book of the Stranger. After escape the clutches of Ramsay Bolton, Sansa Stark arrives cold and shivering at The Wall with her new knight protector, Brienne of Tarth. Oh, and Podrick's there, too. As the gate opens, Brienne begins to survey the area for potential threats to her charge. And there he was, Tormund Giantsbane. Tall-talker, Horn-blower and Breaker of Ice, Husband to Bears, the Mead-king of Ruddy Hall, Speaker to Gods, Father of Hosts. A wildling. From the moment Brienne rode in on her steed, the young maiden wildling man was transfixed.
It seems obvious that Tormund should be attracted to Brienne of Tarth. As far as we know, he likes women but also values strength as an admirable quality in those he would consider friends or even lovers. Brienne projects strength and Tormund can see that: game recognizes game. In hindsight, I further realized that Tormund's attraction to Brienne is so much more than that. Thinking back a few seasons to when Ygritte had a falling out with Jon, Tormund experienced first hand the effect that loving a Crow or a kneeler (as as the wildlings refer to people below The Wall) could have on a wildling. It might have planted the first seeds of curiosity: is there something more to these kneelers that I'm not seeing? There's a lot of time to burn when you're sitting around a campfire in the dead of winter. When Tormund wasn't spinning a yarn about a tryst with a wild bear, it's not hard to imagine he might be dreaming about what one of these royal ladies south of The Wall could be like. And when Tormund lays eyes on Brienne for the first time, he doesn't see what other men see. He doesn't see what Jamie saw. He doesn't see "awkward" or "unfeminine" or "ugly." Brienne is tall, big, and strong. Tormund is into this. Despite living the life of a fighter, a soldier, and a warrior, Brienne features retain a softness, a gentle elegance than Tormund does not see above The Wall. She isn't a rough and tumble wildling, she is an imposing, formidable, regal, royal, silver armor-adorned FANCY LADY. When you strip away the heteronormative beauty standards of Westeros and apply the standards and sensibilities of a wildling, Brienne's mix of noble sophistication and true grit is a glorious paradox. A beautiful contradiction to everything Tormund has ever known. The very sort of ethereal being that inspires men to be swept off their feet. And she looks like she could kick Tormund's ass. You better believe Tormund is into this.
We don't yet know precisely how Brienne feels about this and it's entirely possible that this awkward crush could go somewhere far less fun, perhaps because of the poor track record of the showrunners when it comes to sex and consent. Or it could simply go sour for the same reason that Ygritte and Jon did, with equally disastrous consequences. Until we learn more, and perhaps we can take this as a positive hint, actress Gwendoline Christie is loving "Briemund" and there is even a deleted scene yet to be shared! As she told EW.com:
"I enjoyed Brienne being put in that position of feeling awkward and not wanting the attention,” she says. “That was a very fun thing to play. He’s a wildling, he’s very sensual and animal-like and very forthright with his emotions and feelings — which is really the opposite of [Brienne]. I enjoyed trying to navigate that and the beauty of her embarrassment. She can totally deal with the situation, and with him, but she’s just so embarrassed about it."
Game of Thrones has been pretty brutal throughout, so please, try to excuse viewers for grasping on desperately for any ray of sweet summer sunshine they can find. Let us have this, universe. Please, let us have this.
