The Soul is the Prison of the Body - Orange Is The New Black Roundtable #4

S04e07, "It Sounded Nicer in My Head"

Paranoia strikes deep for Lolly and Judy, aggravating an 

already tense situation. Red sticks to a Russian tradition 

for an important occasion. (Netflix)

S04e08, "Friends in Low Places"

A new work detail doesn't go over well with 

the inmates. Judy seeks help from Poussey. 

Maria finds a place she can conduct business. (Netflix)

Discussion

Tova: I have a lot of feelings about these episodes, and few of them are positive. Some of it is story-related sadness, some disappointment at badly executed plots and some is pure frustration. Let’s start with Caputo and the continued MCC-mess, which to me was part good, part bad and 100% depressing. What are your emotions and thoughts on these scenes? 

Frida: It was infuriating to watch. The show is doing a great job to make me hate Linda, and then the frustration from the whole thing Crystal explained mixes with that hate and it’s just a sad, angry mixture of feelings! It makes me wonder how many prisoners out there are in Sophia’s situation, and it’s horrible. Caputo’s education idea was really good. I’m disappointed he didn’t stay mad at Linda or MCC for completely changing it to basically slave work (but what can he do really?). I feel like MCC, Caputo or Linda has to suffer to make me even remotely satisfied after all that has happened this season.

Adrian: As Pearson warned, Linda is completely heartless. She isn’t interested in understanding Caputo or his ideas, and her pulling a gun on Crystal was absurd and infuriating. I hoped Caputo would end it with Linda, but he completely disappointed me. Linda’s so unlikeable now, her being convicted and sent to Litchfield might be the only satisfying evolution of her arc, but I’m not even sure I care anymore.

I’m upset at this whole scene: it’s completely believable, even Caputo’s arousal, which is frustrating because it’s far too serious of a moment to be played off as a joke. I can easily imagine a scenario where Linda kills Crystal, and her lawyers spin it as a “Stand Your Ground” situation, which hits too close to home for me. It ripped me out of the fiction and into the real world.

Tova: It's interesting how that scene made you both think about reality. The show in general has done a really good job of getting people to think and talk about what it's like for those who are currently incarcerated in the U.S., but it's clear that some stories have more impact than others, and Sophia's is definitely one of them. I loathed Linda before, but the scene with Crystal made it so obvious what kind of person she is (one who kisses up and kicks down, constantly strengthening structures of oppression). Caputo is a tougher nut to crack, but I'm starting to realise he's not the almost-good guy I thought. Being easily manipulated is one thing: getting turned on by Linda’s actions is repulsive. And I wasn’t ready for that side of Caputo so soon after his comment about the education initiative essentially ending up a chain gang, which was just spot on. Are you surprised that the MCC has found a way to make the prisoners do labour without any payment? It fits with what we know about the company, but if this happens in real life (and I don’t think the show would use it as a plot point if it didn’t), then that seems completely absurd to me.

Amanda: The only part that seems absurd about it to me is they’re just digging around in the yard, and not implementing an “inmate outreach program” à la Shawshank Redemption. At least the panty-sewing job turned a profit for the prison, but the chain gang is only saving them the actual cents an hour the inmates are otherwise paid.

Adrian: Well, their digging isn’t pointless. They’re building a new dorm (at least, that’s what Caputo later said) and MCC is saving revenue from their free labor. It’s not surprising that the story’s gone here - OITNB has been pretty consistent about reflecting the state of the U.S. prison system and sadly, this kind of labor is happening today.

Frida: I totally agree with you about Caputo. He does bad things on a regular basis but he also does good things sometimes. I’ve felt like he is a good person “inside” but getting turned on by Linda in that situation is just outrageous. I’m sad to say that I’m not surprised inmates work without pay in America, but maybe it’s not that common—I hope.

Tova: One thing I’m constantly surprised by is the access to drugs the inmates have—both in max and Litchfield. I don’t know the reality behind that, but it’s depressing enough to watch a character you care about (Nicky) going backwards like this. How do you see this playing out for her?

Amanda: It’s already over for Nicky. You can only hurt yourself like this as long as you can hide from the people who love you. I’m not sure how Red will handle this, but I know she will handle it. I mean, you can’t just take an old Russian Matriarch’s make-up! When I saw Red freaking out I was worried she wouldn’t see it was Nicky and take the fight straight to Maria and her crew.

Frida: Yes, I wonder how Red will handle this with still being super happy and emotional that Nicky is back. It’s almost unbelievable that drugs are so available, yes. I wonder if the meth heads will suffer anything since they’re the ones actually handling the smuggling.

Adrian: Easy access to addictive substances underscores the nature of mass incarceration today. Instead of a means of rehabilitation, prisons function as means of punishment carried out by an authoritarian state, and this is no great secret. The public expects that prisoners have drug access, or will callously joke about prison rape, righteously declaring it as deserved. Societal attitudes about prison, criminality, and human nature will be need be critically overhauled before we can see much-needed changes here. It’s a real-life nightmare. Until then, with only other inmates to support her, Nicky’s best shot at survival is undoubtedly Red.

Amanda: Almost worse than the drugs though, is the way prisons handle mental illness. Lolly homeless with a coffee cart shouldn’t be the happiest part of her flashback, but it is! The only thing worse than knowing she was treating her voices better herself than Healy (with an improvised noise-maker), is how many prisons she’s been in before Litchfield. And think of how many people she’s helped without reservation: homeless coffee guy, Piper and Alex—even Healy. It’s so wrong she was thrown away like this. Can we talk about how many of these characters need real help, and aren’t getting it?

Tova: That scene with Lolly had me smiling wide; it’s uplifting to see someone make a little room for themselves in the world against all odds, and I loved the examples of everyday solidarity between the different outcasts living in the area. On the other hand, yes, it’s depressing that that was the peak for Lolly after she became ill. And above all that when she formed her own solutions—after all institutions had failed to help her—the system destroyed that too.

They’re definitely not getting help! Lorna seems to be going to a dark place, and I don’t think anyone has even acknowledged that she has a mental health problem. It’s not just the inmates with mental health issues either: there’s of course Sophia, whose treatment is the absolute opposite of help. Not to mention the assaults committed by prison guards. Trying to think of an example of someone getting help is more difficult.

Adrian: It’s a real problem when, rather than seeing inmates as people who need opportunities for self-improvement, behavioral counseling, or addiction recovery, Correctional Officers are encouraged by the system to see inmates as self-indulgent troublemakers. It makes it easy to dehumanize people you don’t respect, and for more mercenary or sadistic officers to take advantage of inmate vulnerability.

Frida: Lolly’s flashback felt so real to me. After living in the United States you get used to seeing people like Lolly, people who need help and have no social security but try to live their lives as meaningfully as they can. Coming from Sweden, it is very different. Of course we have homeless people but they get help from the government on another level. But yes, I really liked her story, and the coffee-selling part was heartwarming. What happened to her in the end is of course so sad, you definitely feel hopeless and that people like Lolly will rarely get the help they need from society. I’m also worried about Lorna, maybe Nicky coming back stirred something inside her and now she’s very confused so bad habits come back?

Tova: I would agree it’s better in Sweden, even if the mental healthcare institutions are far from perfect here—not to mention how other agencies and institutions fail to understand mental health issues (being both unemployed and unwell is not a great combo, for example). 

On Lorna: I found myself torn between “Oh, no don’t ruin your marriage because I know you’ll freak out if you do!” and “Come on, get it on with Nicky. You know you want to.” If Lorna’s falling back into old habits has anything to do with Nicky, I’d land on the staying away side though.

What do you think of the current-day scenes with Lolly? Healy seems to continue to play a big part, and I continue to feel for him, but also worry that he’s not helping Lolly as much as he thinks.

Adrian: Nicky made a crude but interesting point when she suggested that Vincent might be turned on by the idea of Lorna getting with a girl. Would he? Or would he be homophobic? Or would he be hurt she cheated on him? There are many ways this could go wrong, so I’m preparing for the worst.

I’m enjoying getting to know Lolly. No one else has let her just talk and explain herself, so we’re learning much more than before. It’s difficult for me to feel thankful toward Healy, however. His motivation seems more about satisfying himself—rather than helping his patients—which is why his treatment typically hasn’t worked out. Healy is a guy that (in his flashback) took his patient on a date and wouldn’t acknowledge the transgression. I’m worried for Lolly but on the bright side, she isn’t smoking crack in the cornfield, or being literally branded in gang warfare. For once, Piper is having a worse day than most everyone else.

Amanda: It was like the writers heard about how many people don’t care about Piper as the main character, and thought they had to go this far, with the branding scene during Nicky’s welcome party—almost like punishing us for our blasphemy. I would have said this is out of character for Maria, but I learned a lot of bear safety in school: a mother bear will stomp on your spine if you’re a threat, and Piper made herself a threat. 

Tova: So King is a wolf and Maria is a bear? You guys are extending the animal metaphors from Spektor’s theme song and I like it. I think Maria activated some parental instinct in Red as well—or maybe just pissed her off. The alliances are really hardening. Who would you peg as most likely to escalate the conflict next? And what about the other aspect of this mess; the racial elements, Nazi branding and actual Nazi sentiments—does the show handle them well?

Frida: I’m really bad at predictions, but I feel like Piper is pretty much done. Perhaps the Nazis will make a move if they found out what happened to her? I think the show is handling everything okay; Nazi gang being not a problem but Maria’s gang being a problem, according to the COs. I thought it was scary to see how easily factions like these can be created and grow with certain people being in a certain context. It makes me wonder if White Power-related groups are common in prison, and if so is anything done to prevent them? Or perhaps this is uncommon in real prisons and the showrunners just thought it would be interesting to have on the show?

Adrian: White Power groups are common in U.S. prisons. Real inmates have historically divided themselves along racial lines (resulting in a trifecta of white/Latino/black gangs commonly represented in film and in television), just as Litchfield’s inmates have done since Season 1.

However, Sanky’s gang isn’t in the same league as Maria’s. Sanky is focused on White Power ideology, while Maria is running an enterprise. Trafficking contraband carries real danger that claiming cafeteria tables for the Aryan race does not. Sanky can afford to pick her battles in a low-stakes game, while Maria is on another level, backed into a corner, making her far more dangerous.

I think they’re doing a decent job of illustrating individual motivations behind joining up with gangs, but let’s see where these arcs lead. I doubt Piscatella will allow gangs to continue beyond this season, but maybe there are surprises ahead of us.

Amanda: Maria isn’t a bear, she’s a mother. Bears are just the only mothers people bother warning us not to fuck with, that’s all. I’m not sure Piscatella, as authoritarian as he is, can do anything about gangs. They were always in Litchfield, it was just quieter before, when there were fewer voices. I almost want Red to form a response to the Nazi group, besides Piper’s window. Also, while I’m glad Taystee didn’t see the need to be the new Vee, it feels like her group takes a backseat (which they super deserve, after last season). Some of their best screen time is interacting with the other inmates, though, and I miss that.

Tova: I could definitely see Red stepping up (again) and leading a group of inmates against Maria and her group. I have a feeling the White Power women will be left on the outside if that happens, and Red is more interesting to watch than all of them, but perhaps also more dangerous. Because Red could get on Maria’s level, and a real threat means the stakes of any full-blown conflict will be higher.

I agree about Taystee and the others. It’s unfortunate that we either get awful events focused on the group, or barely anything at all. I’m not about to wish bad things on these characters just so I get to see more of them. Something like Poussey’s and Soso’s love story would be nice though (or any reason to see Poussey being adorable and smiling, really).

I’ve got a final question for all of you before we wrap this up: If you could choose one scene, character moment, or theme touched on in episode 7 and 8 to be explored further (either in these episodes or later on), what would that be? 

Adrian: I wonder about Lolly’s family. In her flashbacks, her ex-co-worker Ann-Marie tries to drop her at a group home, and mentions that Lolly’s mother moved away. I’m assuming Lolly’s mother abandoned her, but what if she didn’t? Maybe Lolly is confused. Maybe she still has people in the world, outside of Litchfield, who care for her. I’m hoping Lolly gets out and finds the care and support she needs to live life safely and on her terms.

Amanda: Aleida. Aleida, Aleida, Aleida. My mother was half Alaskan Native, not Latin American, but she is so, so similar to Aleida. I hate her when she does horrible things, but it hurts me the most that she’s right about the GED, about her job prospects as an ex con—very real problems few people think about—and I feel for her funny-looking mother love.

Frida: Maybe it’s naive, but I’d love to see Aleida’s nail salon idea come true! It would just feel so rewarding that someone is “doing okay” outside, and even though she has done horrible things I still want it to end well for her! Right now the nail salon has turned into something else, so we’ll see how that turns out. I guess I wanted to focus on something positive for this one.

Favourite quotes

Adrian: "When God gives you a swastika, he opens a window. And then you remember: there is no God."

Frida: “Everyone was a moron in the 80’s.”

Tova: “Sometimes what it looks like is all anybody can see.”

Amanda: “My momma gonna see me kissin’ a white woman!”



Adrian Martinez is a graphic designer, comic book letterer, hobbyist writer, and all-around geek living in New York City.

Tova Crossler Ernström is a bisexual Swede, feminist, socialist, INFJ, Hufflepuff, HSP and Taurus. She is fond of personality tests, labels and lists.

Frida Berntson is a Swedish cultural studies and art history student, art blogger and lover of all things geekdom; especially tv, movies and youtube.

Amanda Ling is an American who’s never lived further east than AZ, and has much too much free time to overthink television.

Summer of Steven Masterpost - Steven Universe Recap S03E06-11

Psst! Hey, you like Steven Universe? That’s good, because for the rest of July and the first half of August, Cartoon Network will be airing a new episode of the show every day, five days a week. The entire third season will be done by summer’s end. And we here at Critical Writ will reviewing every single one of them, in weekly posts. 

Also, for the four weeks this whole event will take, the Killjoys recaps are on hold. They'll be back with a four episode recap after the last Summer of Steven episode.

So, without further ado...

S03E06 – Steven Floats

This is the last of the three episodes accidentally leaked in late May, and to be honest, it’s an episode that has a lot to analyze. It does serve as a nice transition between the barn’s tension and drama back into the more mellow Beach City antics.

Steven discovers a new power – controlling the height of his jumps and the speed of his falling – and is temporarily inconvenienced by his lack of control over it. It’s a little bit reminiscent of "Bubble Buddies" (Connie’s introduction), except this time the stakes are noticeably lower and Steven manages to grasp how it works on his own over the course of a single episode. And if you’ve seen more than one Steven Universe episode, you probably guessed that his new power is influenced by his emotions. As he puts it himself, that’s how all his powers work.

On the plus side, we finally see the return of Sadie (a.k.a. the only Big Donut employee most people want to see) and more of the Crystal Gems after their decreased presence during "In Too Deep." And, even if it was imagined by Steven, it was good to see more of the Beach City residents after their long absence during the Cluster/Peridot story arc.

S03E07 – Drop Beat Dad

Rather smartly, Cartoon Network decided to air two episodes on Monday, to make sure they got good ratings for at least one episode. I know most of us, even having seen the leaked episode, would still watch "Steven Floats" out of loyalty to the show’s creators, but some wouldn’t and this way CN made sure they watched at least one of the episodes.

Marty, Greg’s former manager, returns to Beach City, as sleazy and crooked as ever. He’s visiting Greg to leave him something, but by chance he meets Sour Cream–his son with Vidalia that he left behind–and learns of his passion for DJ-ing. I don’t think anyone bought his sudden change of heart but I don’t think anyone expected him to stoop so low to use Sour Cream’s performance primarily to pitch a crappy guacamole soda (actually, “crappy” seems like an unnecessary adjective here).

This serves to drive two points; it’s not particularly wise to expect someone after many years of estrangement to just come back into your life and want to build a connection out of the kindness of their heart. It’s not impossible but it is highly unlikely, especially if nothing in their behavior makes such a personal growth seem likely. Secondly, family isn’t always defined by blood. Marty tries to use Sour Cream’s passion to make a quick buck. Yellowtail, his stepfather, who admittedly would rather SC become a fisherman like him, swoops in to save the day with his son’s musical equipment. It was a beautiful moment of reconnection between the two, especially since all we ever saw Sour Cream do in regards to his stepdad is complain about his desire to follow in his footsteps. Even more heartwarming was seeing him call Yellowtail “Yellow-Dad” and “Dad.”

Oh, and the thing Marty brought Greg? A check for 10 million dollars.

S03E08 – Mr. Greg

The aforementioned check came from a burger chain Marty sold one of Greg’s songs to, which apparently proved successful enough to merit the insanely high amount of money the check provides. So high Greg doesn’t really know what to do with it. He’s a pretty mellow guy and the only reason he opened his carwash was to provide for Steven (and, you know, life’s basic necessities). The two decide to take a trip to Empire City (the show’s New York counterpart), and Steven decides to invite Pearl. He’s a perceptive boy and noticed how she and Greg don’t get along because of Rose. So being himself he decided to give them a chance to make up with each other.

What follows is the show’s first musical episode (if anything, it’s odd that it took them this long to make one) that finally deals with its oldest feud. Ever since their first meeting Pearl has been antagonistic towards Greg at worst, and tolerated him at best. As she reveals in an emotional "It’s Over, Isn’t It?", she could bear the occasional human the all-loving Rose had fun with, because by virtue of their practical immortality Pearl and Rose would still reconnect. That is, until Greg. Until Rose fell in love so much, she decided to have a child with him. And now it’s all over, and Pearl is unable to move on.

Luckily, Steven’s on the job and helps the two connect with the same thing that divided them: Rose. They both loved her–and were loved by her–and they both miss her. Their new friendship is cemented by the long awaited dance and cheers from the hotel staff.

Pearl claims they could’ve done it at home but Steven disagrees, and I think he’s right. A change of setting and a temporary inability to live their shared location definitely helped the two finally completely open up to each other and finally connect to one another.

Plus, we wouldn’t get Pearl in that smashing tuxedo otherwise. And that would be a crime.

S03E09 – Too Short to Ride

You know that situation where all your friends can do something/are fans of something and even though you’re all hanging out together, you’re on the outside, not enjoying yourself? That’s Peridot in this episode. And it’s even more pronounced as she’s still new to the whole "having friends to hang out with" thing.

Steven and Amethyst take her to Mr. Smiley’s Funland, but poor Peri is unable to enjoy herself. Her new friends are able to bend the rules of the amusement park with their shapeshifting abilities but she can’t. Turns out Homeworld is stretched pretty thin and therefore forced to create new Gems with less abilities than before. That’s why Peridot required her tech.

So she hides behind her new tablet (Steven’s gift) and impatiently endures her friends attempt at teaching her shapeshifting. Amethyst, showing how much she’s grown over the two seasons, tries explaining to Peridot that they’re hanging out with her because they like her for who she is not for who she could have been. And after a little bit of conflict, it turns out Peri has powers: magnetism. Insert your joke about Magneto here.

This suggests that Homeworld, instead of completely taking away abilities, might be instead greatly diminishing them and burying them deep. But for the time being Peri uses her new skills to get the plush alien she was unable to get before.

So give it up for the Shorty Squad!

S03E10 – The New Lars

Lars is one of the most divisive characters in the show, and his relationship with Sadie is subject to many discussions on its healthiness. Thankfully, the show creators realized that, and thus we have this episode.

After another quarrel between Lars and Sadie, Steven (who has been shipping them pretty much since the start of the show) bodyswaps with Lars. And being Steven he gets to fixing the guy’s relationship with well, everyone. For just one day Lars’s parents have a loving son and the Cool Kids actually consider hanging out with him.

But when it comes to fixing his relationship with Sadie, Steven is way out of his depth. She doesn’t appreciate Lars seemingly changing his mind on a whim and notices the oddness of his behavior. And when Steven tries to confess Lars’s feelings (or at least what he thinks are his feelings), she has enough, calls him out on being a manipulative jerk and kicks him out of her house. That’s when Steven decides to come clean, and because Lars would never apologize (plus she already saw a lot of weird stuff while hanging out with Steven), she believes him.

In the end everything is back to normal, and Lars seems to have finally realized how everyone dislikes him and preferred Steven! Everyone, that is, except Sadie. The final moments of the show suggest that he might actually love her and the relationship between the two might actually become more healthy as a result of the episode’s events.

S03E11 – Beach City Drift

We finally have Stevonnie back for a full episode. And all it took was the return of Kevin the Jerk, the guy who creepily kept demanding they dance with him back in their debut in "Alone Together." Both Steven and Connie are still angry at him, and his asshole-ish behaviour towards Greg just adds fuel to the fire. So they decide to teach him a lesson and beat him at a street race outside of Beach City.

This might be the first time we saw Steven this angry at someone, and it's not pretty. Thankfully, before their obsession devours them, Connie realizes the truth: reacting to Kevin's actions is exactly what he wants. He's obsessed with attention, and Stevonnie is doing exactly what he wants. He's basically the personification of an attention-hungry Internet troll.

Once they realize that, they actually get to have fun racing and almost win, until Kevin uses a cheap trick (a nitro boost). Even then, they're actually the moral victor, especially since they almost won on their first time driving.

And that's all for this week. We'll be back next week with five more Steven Universe episodes. I'll see you then.

Dominik Zine is a nerdy lad from northeastern Poland and is generally found in a comfy chair with a book in hand.

BoJack Horseman and the Pro-Choice Movement

On July 22, Netflix released the third season of Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s animated comedy, BoJack Horseman. And amid the titular character’s struggle for an Oscar nomination, the writing team took time to tackle the controversial issue of abortion in an episode written by Joanna Calo and Amy Winfrey.

(Spoilers for the first half of the new season)

In the final minutes of the episode preceding the one we will be covering, Diane Nguyen (voiced by Alison Brie) and Mr. Peanutbutter (voiced by Paul F. Tompkins) find out Diane is pregnant. 

"Brrap Brrap Pew Pew" (I promise the title will make sense in context) picks up immediately afterwards; in fact, in the middle of Diane’s swear word she shouted in reaction to the news. On the drive home the couple talk around the issue, but they both unanimously decide that an abortion is the best course of action for them.

Later Diane is doing her job as a ghostwriter of celebrities’ tweets in Princess Carolyn’s (voiced by Amy Sedaris) agency. Well, tries to, as BoJack (voiced by Will Arnett) continues to pester her, and in frustration she informs him that she’s getting an abortion… and simultaneously tweets the same from pop star Sextina Aquafina’s (voiced by Nicole Byer) Twitter account. Oops.

Naturally, this leads to public controversy and Sextina herself is furious, until she learns that other pop stars applaud her bravery and she’s trending like crazy on Twitter. As Diane explains it to her, abortion is a horribly stigmatized procedure and most women keep it to themselves to avoid backlash (you know, more so than women usually do when saying anything publicly). The newfound attention makes Sextina decide to become the face of the pro-choice movement and promote her new single along the way.

Diane decides the best way to prepare Sextina is to take her along for a trip to a Planned Parenthood (or, because this is BoJack Horseman, Planned Parrothood) clinic where Diane herself will have the abortion. And here the episode begins tackling the hysteria around women’s choice of whether to have an abortion or not. From the angry protesters…

…to idiotic laws that are designed to discourage women from undergoing the procedure. In BoJack’s world of comedy these laws include: 

• having to look at the ultrasound and heartbeat/s of the foetus. 
• the doctor being forced to tell the woman that at one month her child has a favorite color which may be blue (not because it’s even close to the truth but because the law obligates him) 
• and Diane having to watch 20 hours of baby (well, puppy in their case) videos to the sound of Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You.” But only Diane. When Mr. Peanutbutter offers to do it with her, he’s told only the pregnant woman is allowed watch those videos.

This is obviously a satirical exaggeration but the fact remains that the pro-life movement has led to a huge number of laws across the world that aim to prevent or discourage women from undergoing abortion. Just this March, Trump’s current VP candidate and Indiana governor Mike Pence passed a horrendous bill in his home state. And the laws presented in the episode are not that far from reality. In January, North Carolina passed a new law demanding doctors to turn over ultrasounds of abortions performed on or after the 16th week to state officials went into effect. You can learn more about similar laws from this clip from John Oliver’s Last Week Tonight episode from earlier this year.

Sextina starts going on talk-shows to talk about her non-abortion… and promote her new song. “Get Dat Fetus Kill Dat Fetus,” where the title of the episode comes from (it’s part of the chorus). It’s… something else. Imagine if Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” video was about a dystopian hunt for unborn fetuses, mixed with one of Lady Gaga’s weirder music videos, and then the producers turned the Gaga weirdness factor up to eleven.

Diane is obviously unhappy with how Sextina is handling the situation. Meanwhile, recurring TV anchor and professional butt-kisser, MSNBSea's Tom Jumbo-Grumbo (voiced by Keith Olberman), assembles a diverse panel to discuss the controversy.

Yep, everyone on the panel is an older white man with a bowtie. Going from left to right we have a guy who wrote a book called “But What About the Boys?”, claiming that if he were pregnant, he’d put his life on hold to take care for child he didn’t want (and because this will never happen, he’s unbiased); a self-appointed youth expert from the Washington Post who claims millennials glamorize abortion and consider it “N.B.D.” (Not B.D. Wong, who is a big deal, and thus anything that isn’t him, isn’t a big deal); and an “actual doctor,” who claims that a woman’s body can break down an unwanted fetus into gas particles and fart it out (he doesn’t remember where he read it but probably the Bible). They represent the loudest portions of the actual pro-life movement: older men who’ll never have to decide whether to have an abortion and seem to think they’re the only ones allowed to make that decision for women; the people that claim millennials consider abortions something fun that can be done on a whim; and idiots spreading myth and misinformation (like the idiotic claim that a woman’s body has safeguards against rape-inflicted pregnancy).

Diane gets through to Sextina that if she doesn’t treat the whole situation seriously, she might regret it in the future. And it seems like she takes Diane's advice to heart: when she’s invited to Tom’s panel, she’s acting surprisingly calm and serious. Until she announces she’s going to undergo an abortion on live television.

Princess Carolyn finds a solution to that problem (film an abortion, claim its Sextina’s and slap “LIVE” somewhere on the screen), but Diane has enough and practically quits her work after an argument with her boss. Later in the clinic, she considers blowing the whole thing wide open – until she has a conversation with a young girl who overheard her talking about Sextina. The girl tells her that the singer’s music makes her feel stronger and treats Sextina’s outlandish statements as what they are: jokes. She tells Diane that with all the protesters and laws designed to make women feel bad about the procedure, a little joke, even a slightly inappropriate one makes it a little more tolerable.

Later, Diane and Princess Carolyn, newly reconciled, are watching Sextina’s abortion video which is surprisingly tasteful and informative. Diane is feeling bad; physically, that is (it is a taxing procedure). She doesn’t regret it. And she starts explaining why she did it, but Princess Carolyn stops her, telling her that she doesn’t have to explain it to anyone. Aw.

Their bonding is interrupted by a call from Sextina, who just found out she actually is pregnant, and would like to keep it. And Diane and Princess Carolyn don’t berate her or push her to do anything; instead, they start working on how to handle the situation so it doesn’t look bad in the public eye.

The strength of the episode comes how delicately and sensibly handles the abortion controversy. We are given two female characters: one who decides to undergo the procedure, and one who chooses to give birth to the baby. Neither of them of demonized or glorified, and neither is the abortion itself. It’s treated as a choice that each woman considering undergoing this procedure has to make for herself; nothing more, and nothing less. If anything, it’s more focused on presenting the hysteria of the pro-life movement and the absurdity of laws that aim to prevent or discourage woman from making that choice, all under the guise of a fake concern for women’s health.

Not bad for a show featuring a talking horseman with a substance abuse problem. 

Dominik Zine is a nerdy lad from northeastern Poland and is generally found in a comfy chair with a book in hand.

Betty And Veronica #1 Review: Friends? Enemies? Frenemies?

You know, it’s almost funny. For decades, Archie Comics has published a series based around two prominent female characters in the Archie universe, but they have hardly done a storyline that doesn’t mention or revolve around Archie in any way. In fact, I remember reading a story where they hang out around town without discussing Archie, then immediately start giggling about it at home, along with immediately arguing over him again.

The Betty & Veronica comics seem to have a complicated relationship with feminism. One on hand, they’re incredibly sexist by constantly portraying the flagship characters as fighting over Archie and hardly exploring other aspects of their life. (Although it should be noted that some stories have shown Archie stringing them along because it’s funny. I think the reboot eliminated that, fortunately.) On the other hand, when the authors do stop jamming Archie into the narrative, the stories transform into compelling narratives on how Betty and Veronica compare and contrast. One is a daughter of privilege, the other has lived in a small town for her entire life. Betty is naturally friendly and athletic and Veronica worries about how her social life would be if she wasn’t rich.

As for the main story itself, it revolves around a plot that was quite common in the original comics. In the early days, it was ridiculously common for stories to revolve around Pop’s Choklit Shoppe closing. From an unsubtle McDonald’s parody to a simple lack of funds to keep it going, the restaurant constantly had to deal with the threat of closing. At one point, it was even declared a historical landmark. Due to the nature of the series, the status quo would be almost instantly restored, leading to a continued shaky revenue source for Mr. Tate. I’m not quite burned out on the idea, however. I believe that it still has some relevance in our modern era, with the ‘mom and pop store’ (pun intended) being forced out in favor of big businesses and franchises. So how does Adam Hughes do in his premiere issue for the new series? Let’s find out!

I have some mixed feelings about the issue. On one hand, it does briefly talk about Pop Tate’s store being pushed out in favor of bigger and bigger businesses, even outright making a joke about the plots in the above paragraph. I appreciate meta jokes.

On the other hand, the comic doesn’t have nearly enough focus on Betty and Veronica. From the very beginning, it’s other characters talking about them. Hot Dog, Jughead's faithful dog, acts as a Greek chorus, but that seems more apt for a Jughead issue. Instead of a dog narrator, I would have thought that bringing back Betty’s diary would work. You could still have a scene from, presumably, the third issue and lead up to it with Betty’s written flashbacks.

Anyway, from a (urgh) catfight between them and a hypothetical fight scenario, Betty and Veronica  are mostly shown through commentary by male characters and not in their own right, with agency. Additionally, we never hear Betty mention her plan to turn the harvest dance into a fundraiser for Pop. Midge just mentions it, which could have occurred before the flashback, but I wish that it was actually shown.

Finally, I don’t like how Betty and Veronica seem objectified. A lot of the marketing, as well as a chunk of the plot for this issue, is about teasing a ‘catfight’ (again, urgh) between the two. Combining this with Veronica’s rude insults to Betty earlier in the issue, I fail to see how the comic captures their complicated friendship. Again, I think that this would be better explained if the issue was narrated by one or both of them. Additionally, this might be Adam Hughes trying to make fun of himself being seen as a “cheesecake” artist or the expectations of modern readers for a Betty And Veronica story, but two pages of the story are devoted to nothing but Betty and Veronica in bikinis, providing dull exposition. No, really. Out of nowhere, the comic breaks the fourth wall purely for titillation. Betty and Veronica are teenagers, making it even more uncomfortable.

On the plus side, Betty And Veronica #1 is very funny. It has some enjoyable interactions between the main gang, as well as some cute references to other Archie properties. Pop briefly mentions a teenage witch (Who could that be?) and Archie makes an indirect reference to Josie and the Pussycats. I do like seeing Midge and Moose having a supporting role in the issue. Speaking of cameos, even Ethel Muggs appears in the background of the splash page.

To sum up, Betty And Veronica #1 is a jarring issue. I like the basic plot of trying to save Pop’s diner, but the combination of inexplicable fanservice and inexplicable choices make it a very uneven story. The choice of narrator and inordinately large focus on characters other than Betty and Veronica almost make it seem like an “Archie’s Pals And Gals” or “Tales From Riverdale” reboot. I would recommend that you pick it up, if only to support a female-led comic. If you ignore the inconsistencies, then it’s mostly a good read.

Betty And Veronica #1 is written and drawn by Adam Hughes. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or the Harry Potter books.

Critical Hits And Misses #6: July 22, 2016

• Gal Gadot has shared a new Wonder Woman poster on her Facebook page! I do not like that her boobs are the focal point, but I love the vivid colors and the emphasis on "Wisdom" at the bottom gives me hope for this movie. (Megan and Adrian)

• In an interview with The A.V Club, John Cho talks about representation of Asian and queer characters. (Tova)

• If you can stomach the opening poop joke, xoJane published a touching story of finding love at a Vampire: The Requiem LARP group. (Megan)

• The latest episode of CBC's Love Me features an illuminating account of the unexpected social and emotional ramifications of sexual violence. (Etienne)

• With all the bad things we keep hearing about Pokemon Go, check out the lovely story about an autistic child whose mother is very grateful for the game. Look at the joy on this kid's face!  (Ivonne)

• Jon Stewart took over Colbert's desk last night and delivered a scathing critique of the Republican party and right wing media.  The New York Times has both video, and a transcript for those hard of hearing or unable to watch.  (Megan)

SNL Scraps: 7-20-16 Edition

To start off the roundup, we have some sad news. Matt Villines, a digital short director for Saturday Night Live, has passed away at the age of thirty-nine. He directed many of the greatest shorts in recent SNL history. The official Saturday Night Live YouTube channel has been posting some of his greatest work. The uploads included "Uber For Jen", in which a woman makes friends with her Uber driver and a music video parody of "What Does The Fox Say?" entitled "My Girl." My personal favorites out of the selected tributes include "Sad Mouse" and "The Hit."

"The Hit" is about a group of gangsters getting ready to kill an unlucky victim. However, they become distracted by the burgeoning snow and begin waxing nostalgic about baby deer, hot cocoa, and the beauty of the individual snowflakes. The humor mostly comes from the sharp contrast between awaiting their target and the criminals poetically musing about the weather.

"Sad Mouse" is equally emotional, but for different reasons. Taken from the spectacular Bruno Mars episode, it shows the struggles of Mark, a lonely Times Square performer (Bruno). It plays out as more of a dramatic short film than a skit on a late night comedy show. It only has a brief conversation at the beginning, meant to provide exposition for the premise. Mostly, it consists of Mark desperately trying to find a human connection while wearing a patriotic mouse costume. He is in a deep depression and severely needs a dose of human kindness. The ending provides a spark of hope for his future, but most of the humor comes from how heartbreakingly sad it is. Similar to Bojack Horseman and The Last Man On Earth, it expertly melds human loss and the potential comedy that can be found in tragic situations. "Sad Mouse" is one of the best SNL digital shorts, purely for the emotional resonance. It is impossible for me to watch it without empathizing with Mark.

In case you missed it, the nominations for this year's Emmy Awards have been released!

Firstly, Kate McKinnon has been nominated for "Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series" based on her SNL characters and impressions. This has been a banner year for McKinnon, with a starring role in Ghostbusters and becoming the new breakout star to come from SNL. Secondly, Larry David and Tracy Morgan have both been nominated for the "Best Guest Actor in a Comedy Series" award. Larry David has made several appearances in the season as Bernie Sanders, even hosting the show at one point. Tracy Morgan, as you'll recall, made his first appearance on the program in years after recovering from a car accident.

For the "Best Guest Actress in a Comedy Series", SNL racked up three nominations for the Tina Fey/Amy Poehler Christmas episode, Melissa McCarthy's hosting experience, and Amy Schumer's episode. In terms of the show as a whole, Saturday Night Live has been nominated for the "Best Variety Sketch Series" award.

Finally, Michael Che and Colin Jost will be performing two special editions of Weekend Update on MSNBC. If you've been wondering exactly what the crew of SNL have to say about the Republican and Democratic National Conventions, then this is definitely for you. The two specials will air on July 20th and July 27th at midnight. There is no word on how lengthy the installments will be, but if you're really eager for more content, you can also follow the official Saturday Night Live Snapchat or catch footage of their appearance on NBC's Today Show from this morning.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or the Harry Potter books.

Happy Go Loki: Vote Loki #2 Review

Loki is a character so wrapped up in lies and stories, it’s almost impossible to tell what his agenda is. The important question is; what will happen if he actually becomes president?  Will he just revel in his victory, and then resign? Will he actually be content with the limited power he has? Will he turn America into a dictatorship?

The reason I’m asking these questions is because the possibility of a Loki presidency seems to be increasing with every issue. And also because, as you may have realized, I’m not really talking about Loki.

And neither is the comic, it would seem. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

After opening with a political ad by Loki, where he endorses using drone strikes on terrorists rather than diplomacy, we pick off where the last issue left off. Thor is confronting Nisa Contreras over her article which seemingly supports Loki.

Proof that the current Thor is indeed American

Once the misunderstanding is cleared up, Thor explains that she can’t really do much about the issue herself, but hints that Loki’s Super PAC (the America the Faithful fund) may be worth investigating.

Meanwhile, Loki makes his big entrance at a speech in Texas to the sweet vocals of Bonnie Tyler. 

The streetwise Hercules has his own comic right now, where he's... trying to be streetwise.

His speech is filled with vague rhetoric and intentional lies, and the crowd absolutely loves it.

So Nisa breaks into the Super PAC’s office, and finds it’s members… performing a mystic ritual on a goat, giving her all the proof she needs that Loki’s supporters are insane.

She takes a couple of pictures, the Daily Bugle runs the story as it’s front page, and everyone everywhere is sure that a scandal like this spells doom for Loki’s campaign.

That is, until Loki makes a speech about it.

He doesn’t try to cover it up, or make excuses, or apologize. Instead, he gleefully reminds the people that he is a god, and whoever wants to pray to him is more than welcome to.

Damn.

And it works. The people love it, and something which would have derailed any other candidate only pushes Loki’s popularity even higher. Nothing like what happens in real life, of course.

This was another phenomenal issue from Christopher Hastings. Vote Loki continues to beautifully skewer the current presidential election, and every jab at how messed up the system is feels very cathartic.

If I was to criticize it, I would have to say that the cover of this issue (which is a very obvious reference, although the Nazi is the one doing the punching this time) promised us an appearance by at least one Captain America and that never happened. Not that the issue was lacking in any way, it just feels like we need to get some idea of how the superpowered side of the Marvel universe is reacting to all this, sooner or later.  

Like I said in my last review, the art (done by Paul McCaffrey and Chris Chucky) is still the very appropriate political caricature style. It works for me, but it may not be everyone's cup of tea.

Regardless, Vote Loki is brilliant, and I highly recommend picking up the series, if you haven’t already.

#MakeAmericaSaneAgain

Aranwe Quirke is a totally real, definitely not made up name. No, you may not see the birth certificate.