Arrowverse Real Talk - Featuring The Flash

I have not been blogging about the Arrowverse this Fall season, and the reasons for that are many, including not having as much time as I did last year. That said, a good chunk of my lack of motivation has come from the fact that most of the Arrowverse is a goddamn hot mess this year.

Supergirl started off obnoxious and featuring a couple of lesbians arguing constantly about the most asinine wedding decisions (DJ? Live Band? This argument took a whole episode to resolve!), although there was an attempt in the third episode to tell Maggie's story and feature her homophobic Mexican father who came up with a bogus AF reason for not wanting to be at her wedding. That was also a pretty decent episode because Kara wasn't the main feature; she goes up to Mars to help J'onn take care of some personal business, and it was overall a damn fine story. However, Supergirl has the Iris West problem: it doesn't know what the hell to do with its primary black character that isn't superpowered/alien, aka James Olsen. Last season he was all about doing good as the Guardian. This season, not only has he not done jack shit as the Guardian, but then his job as head of Catco gets taken away by Lena Luthor. Which, admittedly, I love all the Lena, and oh my god I ship Lena and Kara so hard... but not at the expense of a black character, FFS.

Hey guys! Remember me? Cuz my writers don't!

Arrow is... not bad, but it's not spectacular either. I'm still with it because it has its moments, and +1 internets for Stephen Amell managing to sneak in a Bruce Wayne reference that made fans titter. I've somewhat enjoyed the Oliver-as-single-dad storyline, but I'm giving this show's writer's the stink eye for what's going on with John Diggle (hey, another black character that the writers seem to engaging in some wtfuckery with). And look, as much as I hated how they killed off Katie Cassidy's Black Canary in season 4, can we just not with Black Siren? She's so shoehorned-in and forced, it's not even funny.

Guys, remember me? GOOD BECAUSE I WILL NEVER LET YOU FORGET EVEN IF IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE WITH THE STORY RAWR!!1!!11

Legends of Tomorrow has been 100% fabulous and you should go watch it right now. The reason for this is because both the writers and the actors of the show have all come to the conclusion that they are on the campiest show on the CW, and goddamn it, they are going to have fun with it! Legends has featured ridiculously hilarious stories of the Legends bumbling their way to heroic acts, the actors are clearly having a blast along the way, and I walk away every week with a smile on my face.

Camp has never looked this good before. 

But dear god, The Flash what in the Nine Hells are you doing?

Easily the worst of the four superhero shows on the CW, The Flash has hurt to watch sometimes. Barry is brought back within seconds after last season's "cliffhanger" (I called it, someone owes me $20, Barry didn't even last a full episode off of his show), and he finds that Iris has taken charge of Team Flash in the meantime. Which, on a surface level, I am totally fine with. Iris needed to do something, as she's been anything but useful in the previous seasons. I'm happy that Iris has taken front and center and that even after Barry's return, she still has a take-charge attitude.

But this show still doesn't know what to do with Caitlin Snow. We finally got a decent episode last night with Caitlin showing that she and Killer Frost have a tense coexistence but at least we can have them both, which is cool. But until last night, Caitlin has just been putzing around in the background, not really doing much. Which has been a problem with her character for four straight seasons.

Inexplicably, The Flash shoved aside fan favorite Kid Flash, ostensibly because the special effects for two speedsters at the same time were too expensive, and also because the show's writers apparently couldn't conceive of creating stories for Wally that didn't involve his speedster abilities. That sound you're hearing is me rolling my eyes because the Firestorm special effects are expensive for Legends of Tomorrow too, and yet magically, the writers of that show have figured out how to write stories for Jax and Martin that don't require them to fire up in every episode. Fancy, that. So Kid Flash got written off the show for reasons, although he's supposed to be back for the wedding crossover special. But there goes another black hero, running off into the sunset.

Don't run, Wally. Don't run.

What makes me really angry about this is that they replaced Kid Flash with another superpowered dude, this time the Elongated Man, and I get that maybe it's slightly cheaper to stretch Ralph's limbs as a special effect than to do a speedster, but really? Your excuse for getting rid him was that it was too expensive to keep a speedster around, so you replace him with a superpowered white guy? To further rub salt in the wound, Elongated Man had a pretty decently amusing introductory episode, but then completely ruins the character last night in "Girls Night Out" by making Ralph a really gross misogynist playboy who forces Barry's bachelor party into a strip club so Ralph can make continuously gratuitous leering at dancers. It took exactly one episode for me to hate this character. I'm pretty sure that's a new record. Even Marvel's Inhumans took the time to make its wooden and terribad main characters hateful to the audience over the course of five or six episodes.

"Girls Night Out" wasn't a totally terrible episode, because it did feature Iris, Caitlin, Felicity, and Cecile having to save the day from the weekly bad guy while Barry is off getting hilariously drunk thanks to Cisco. If the episode had been only about the ladies getting to be heroic, it would have been amazing.

This is my "WTF was that strip club subplot all about" face too, Felicity

While I deeply appreciated Barry's de facto drunken state being that he stands at the bar shouting "I am the Flash!" to a bunch of equally as drunk strangers who cheer for him every time, the whole strip club scene was seven levels of awkward and potentially really disturbing. Besides Ralph being gross the whole time, there was this weird subplot about Cecile's adult daughter dancing at the club as research for a book she's writing about feminism and the male gaze, which okay, I can kind of dig it. But there are some weird undertones of incredible disrespect for sex workers. And frankly, it was a very odd subplot that came entirely out of left field and had something to do with Joe being a parent or something, and something something "I'm freaked out about Cecile being pregnant." This part of the episode was, at best, an incomprehensible tangent, and at worst, fucking gross.

Also, what is the point of Cecile's baby? I've heard a fan theory that Cecile and Joe's baby might be Bartholomew, who in Young Justice is Kid Flash from the future (and Barry's grandson) who comes back in time to hang out with Barry and Wally. Just what this show needs, another future black speedster who can get shoved off to the side too.

Can we talk about how The Thinker, this season's big bad, looks like Brainiac? No? Okay, but let's at least thank The Speed Force that it's not another flipping speedster.

Look, The Flash season four is not as bad as Arrow season four (thank Dog), but I feel like this show is still lost and hasn't quite found its footing, something it lost way back in season two after a wonderfully fun and vibrant season one. The writers really need to find whatever muse it was that let them finally tell a compelling story about Iris and Caitlin being a part of an all-lady hero team, and stick with it, because that was good stuff. Whatever the hell else is going on with this show, though? It needs to get it together.

There is a silver lining to all of this, though. Nothing on the CW is as bad as Marvel's Inhumans.

But then again, very little is.

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

The Invasion Ends! - Legends of Tomorrow S02E07

Sadly, Legends of Tomorrow marks the end of #DCWeek, and the end of a fun Berlantiverse crossover. I'll be honest, this story really should have gone over the course of at least four episodes, if not a full 8 (or two weeks' worth of episodes). For all that it was a simple "bad aliens show up to kill everyone" story, this episode in particular drove home just how rushed the entire thing was.

With that said, let's talk about Legends and how it ended the Invasion storyline.

(spoilers beyond the fold)

Once again, the strongest part of this episode were the tiny bits of dialogue here and there between characters of all the shows interacting with characters they don't normally get to deal with on a daily basis. As with The Flash's Invasion episode, these were the moments that truly made this crossover work.

So anyway, we learned in last night's Arrow that the aliens have a weapon they are getting ready to deploy.

But who cares, because the CW and the Berlantiverse are freaking trolling us with this, right???

You better not be playing with our hearts, Berlanti. 

Okay, to be clear, the obvious Hall of Justice/STAR Labs appeared in The Flash's Invasion episode two days ago, but the end of the crossover seemed like a better time to freak out about it. My fondest wish is to see a live action Justice League (that isn't that grimdark mess of a Snyderverse, anyway), and I hope this wasn't just a troll.

Also, I'd like to know why the hell STAR Labs even has a building like this. Like for what purpose???

Anyway, our time traveling heroes come up with a plan that involves interrogating an alien to find out what their beef is with the Earth, so Nate, Rory and Amaya take the Waverider back to the 1950s to the original Dominator attack on Redmond, OR. Cisco and Felicity tag along and proceed to be the cutest geeks ever because time travel! In the 50s, the Legends tell the inexperienced tech nerds to stay behind (much to their disappointment), and Nate inexplicably decides to put on the fancy new costume that Ray made for him.

Rory is not impressed.

"Star-spangled idiot" ... I'm not sure how it happened, but Heatwave has become my favorite Legend. 

They do manage to knock out an alien, but then suits with badges show up and arrest all of them. They manage to question the alien before the government goons start torturing the poor thing. Cisco and Felicity have to come to the rescue of their Legendary friends, but the entire team decides they might do some good if they help the alien escape too. Which they do, and they even give the alien the escape pod from last night's Arrow, which was still on the Waverider. Armed with the knowledge that the aliens were first attracted to Earth because of Amaya's metahuman Justice Society team, our heroes head back to the present.

While they were gone, Oliver was being a dick. Or you know, just Oliver.

This is Kara's WTF face. 

 The new President of the US (remember the team let the original president get zapped by the aliens back in The Flash?), has apparently asked to meet with our heroes, but when Kara wants to go, Oliver tells her to stay behind. Because reasons, apparently. Something something I want normal back in my life. Normal? Are you kidding me? You're the freaking Green Arrow. When has your life been normal?

So The Flash, Oliver, Sara, and The Atom go to schmooze with the Pres, and instead suits with badges show up yet again. Honestly this scene is only notable because of the blatant Quicksilvering moment of awesome:

"I saw this in a movie once! Actually, three movies!" -Barry, probably

Turns out that the Dominators formed a peace treaty with Earth to keep their metas under control back in the 50s to prove Earth wasn't a threat, but Barry's Flashpoint shenanigans "broke the peace treaty" and the Dominators are demanding that Earth hand over The Flash or everyone will die.

There's no hesitation, because Barry does have the heart of a true hero, regardless of his mistakes. He is ready to die to save Earth. But his friends wont' let him.

The Justice League be all like: "Nope!"

Meanwhile, a vibing trip between Cisco and Nate reveals that the alien they saved back in 1950s Oregon is at the head of the invasion force, and he knows how dangerous metas beyond just Barry are, because he saw these guys in action. The aliens have no intention of letting Earth survive. Humans are far too dangerous now. So the trip back to the 50s? It actually changed the timeline. 

That moment when you realize you just did the thing that you hated your bro for all this time...

Contrived alien drama notwithstanding, this kind of plot was clearly needed for Cisco to come to the realization just how easy it is for meta humans to screw up with their powers, and that Barry's Flashpoint mistake isn't some anomaly born of asshattery. It was so easy for Cisco and the Legends to screw up time in a completely innocent and seemingly benign act, that Cisco suddenly forgives Barry for the death of his brother. 

Too bad Martin Stein hasn't learned the same lesson. He and Caitlin are back at STAR Labs working on an anti-alien solution, and end up getting the help of his super genius daughter. You know, the one he himself created when he told his younger self to romance Clarissa. Stein keeps his daughter at arm's length, and in a moment that spawned very loud jeering and hissing in my household, he arrogantly tells Caitlin that unlike Barry, he would perfectly repair the timeline and undo the anomaly that is his daughter.

OMG, the stones on these Legends! I mean, Martin Stein has always been an arrogant and selfish ass of a character, who has to keep relearning humility every so often, but geez. And yeah, he learns it yet again, when he finally lets his brilliant daughter into his life, and realizes he can't just erase her (even if he could, which, as Jay Garrick would tell him, is not going to happen). 

Not gonna lie, this is an awesome shot

So, Supergirl, who has inexplicably superfluous in like every episode of this crossover to the point that her presence was almost pointless, finally gets to kick some alien ass. Stein's anti-alien weapon is ready, and Flash and Supergirl have to race across the planet to plant the thingies, while the rest of the heroes keep the aliens busy in a fight. Meanwhile, Cisco and Sara use the Waverider's tractor beam to keep the alien superbomb from dropping and destroying everything, until Firestorm does a thing and destroys the bomb. 

The fight scenes were cool, and it was nice that Supergirl finally got some kind of action. But the real strength of both this episode and The Flash, were all the tiny moments, quick snaps, and quips that passed between the characters at various times. Truly, it was the chemistry between all these actors, and their fun interactions, that made this crossover successful. 

The fun continues right up to the end, with Rory asking Sara if he's right in thinking the new black female president is hot. 

Sara drinks and she knows things.

A second wave of loud jeering was heard from my living room, however, when the President is honoring the heroes for saving the planet, as the Berlantiverse thumbs its nose rather blatantly at Marvel. 

Earth's Mightiest WHO now??? Alert, alert! Shots fired!

That's right, they actually used the term "Earth's Mightiest Heroes" in describing this team. 

Not gonna lie, as a Marvel fangurl, I not only jeered, but I laughed my ass off. Well played, DC. Well played. 

Also of final note: Cisco gives Kara a thing that lets her cross into or call into Earth-1 anytime she wants to. Badass! Musical episode of Supergirl and The Flash, incoming!

Oliver somehow manages to be the most awkward part of this three-way hug...

No foolin', this crossover event was flawed. It wasn't perfect, the story felt super rushed and very simplistic, and Arrow's episode in particular almost didn't feel like it was even a part of it (despite the fact that it was a very wonderful episode of Arrow all on its own). Supergirl was badly under-utilized. The episodes usually sacrifice female characters to useless roles (like Iris West, but that appears to be her meta power anyway) or disappearing them entirely (like Artemis). Had the network spread the crossover over all four shows, or possibly into two weeks, there would have been more breathing room for everyone. 

But as a fan of these shows, as a fan of these characters, and especially as a fan of pretty much all of these actors... it was awesome. I felt good. I laughed, I cried, I shouted at the tv. 

In a word, I was entertained. And ultimately, isn't that what these shows are about? 

All of them can stand to do better, especially for their female characters (looking at you, The Flash!). But then the Berlantiverse goes and does a thing like make a black woman President of the US in Earth-1, and I remember why I'm still into these shows: 

They have heart.

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

The Invasion Continues - Arrow S05E08

This isn't just a huge crossover event for #DCWeek; this was also the 100th episode of Arrow, so this one was more than a little special.

Right away, let me commend the writers and actors and director. They clearly felt the weight of the importance of this episode, and there was a whole lot of talent on display here. I wasn't sure what I was expecting, but an episode chockful of feels wasn't it. 

(spoilers beyond the fold)

So yesterday's The Flash ended with several of our heroes being abducted by the bad-news aliens, the Dominators. I don't know how I missed it, but the people taken were all non meta-humans, as Cisco ends up pointing out in this episode. That sound you're hearing is me rolling my eyes at myself, because I don't normally miss something that big. But yeah, the abductees were Oliver, Sara, John, Thea, and Ray. The aliens didn't want the metas at all.

This episode begins with something we haven't seen in a long, long time:

Hellllllooooo, Queen mansion, we haven't seen you in forever! 

Oliver is clearly living some idyllic life, one where his parents and Laurel are still alive. But within minutes of seeing Laurel with a giant rock on her finger, it becomes obvious something is not right. Oliver has a flash, like he's remembering something from another life. 

Still, how fabulous to see Laurel again. You never should have killed her off, Arrow. The episode just started and I am already hurting. 

Back in the Darkest Timeline our heroes actually inhabit, Felicity and Cisco arrive at the Arrowcave and let Team Arrow (minus Artemis, who for some freaking reason isn't in this episode at all) know that Oliver has been abducted. Cisco asks for something of Oliver's that he can vibe to try to find out where the missing team members are, and the minute it becomes obvious that he's a meta, Wild Dog gets a stinkyface. "You're one of them." 

Yeah whatever, dude. 

It's okay though, Cisco and Curtis hit if off immediately, and suddenly what I need in my life that I never knew is a Vibe and Mr. Terrific team-up. Pronto.

Cisco's vibe reveals that the missing team members are in Matrix pods. Cisco also reveals that he brought along a piece of the alien ship that landed in Central City, so Team Techie (Felicity, Curtis, Cisco) get down to the business of trying to hack it. But they end up blowing it up because human tech doesn't play nice with alien tech. They need a thing. Never you mind what the thing is, just know that it is a thing and they need it. This is the most macguffin thing ever in the history of writing, but it was an excuse to track down a freak-of-the-week who has stolen the thing. 

Ragman, Mr. Terrific, and Wild Dog team up with Flash and Supergirl to get go the thing, and Wild Dog is decidedly unimpressed with both Barry and Kara and tells them so to their faces. At least we didn't have to wait long to find out what Rene's problem is: he feels that metas attract bad metas, and that aliens attract bad aliens, so the world would be better off without any and all of them. The Dog then proceeds to get his butt kicked by a cyborg lady, and Barry and Kara have to save him, after which Rene has a sudden about-face in his opinion of them. 

Meh. I honestly could have done without this whole worthless side-plot. The only cute part of it all was Ragman and Terrific gushing over how awesome Barry and Kara are. But Supergirl's role in this episode of the Invasion seemed particularly superfluous. 

And where in Hades was Artemis???

Okay but are you ready for some feels?

I was not prepared for how I would feel at the sight of Oliver's parents, especially Moira. Not gonna lie, I suddenly realized with this episode just how much this show has been missing Moira (and specifically, actress Susanna Thompson) and her incredible warmth and depth. Moira Queen was not the most admirable of characters in the first two seasons of the show, to be sure. She did some pretty crappy stuff. But I never got the sense that she was evil, and her being such a flawed mother and wife and human being and yet ultimately striving to be better, was great story-telling. 

I think this episode made me mourn her more than her actual death scene did. And did Stephen Amell and Susanna Thompson always have that level of chemistry, or has Stephen matured enough in this role, I guess? Either way, they were fabulous together. 

Anyway, Oliver's fantasy life is pretty rad: it is the eve of his wedding to Laurel, Robert and Moira Queen are there, Sara arrives to be her sister's bridesmaid, and all is awesome! 

Except Oliver keeps having these crazy flashes of another life. And despite supposedly never getting on the Queen's Gambit, and thus never learning to fight in Lian Yu, he has some pretty crazy superhero reflexes and instincts. During one scene where he and Robert Queen are in a dark alley that was wayyyy too obviously reminiscent of a certain Batman origin story, Oliver faces down a thug with a gun. But ultimately it's the Hood, a dude with a bow, who shows up to save the Queens. But that only seems to exacerbate Oliver's weird flashes, so he ends up following his instincts and arrives at the Arrowcave, only to find that a tragic John Diggle is the Hood. 

Sara and John seem to also be having weird flashes, but it's hard to tell how much, because the episode is fully filmed from Oliver's perspective. Ultimately, though, Sara and John both realize Oliver is right, and that this place is fake. Ray is almost nonexistent in this shared fantasy world, but he is there, kinda. And he also accepts that this isn't right. 

Thea is apparently aware of the wrongness, but she doesn't care, because she has her family back. When Oliver and Sara try to convince her that they need to all find a way out, Thea resists. And in a scene that again taps into some crazy feels, Stephen Amell and Willa Holland really amp it up to the max. Oliver doesn't want Thea to suffer, so he accepts that she wants to stay behind in this fantasy world, and his goodbye scene made me genuinely teary-eyed. 

There's a fight scene because we need some action now, and the Matrix is fighting back against these guys getting out, so it sends in Damien Darhk (who Sara fights), Deathstroke (who Oliver fights), and some random thugs who keep John and Ray busy. Oh, and Malcolm Merlyn as the Dark Archer is there too, and Thea ends up deciding that she doesn't want to lose the only real family she has left (Oliver), so she shows up to fight the Dark Archer. 

What I liked about the fantasy world overall was that the alien device picked out things and people from all of their memories, so there are a bunch of Arrow easter eggs all over the place, and I'm pretty sure I didn't capture them all. 

Still, we cannot leave this fantasy world without a final gutpunch, because the writers want you to cry. Joke's on them, though, because I'm not crying ur crying!

The Matrix (this is not actually the name of the alien device, by the way, it's just my name for it) sends Laurel to make a final plea for Oliver to stay.

By this point in the episode I cannot handle all the feels anymore. 

I don't care how badly it screws things up, Barry Allen, you need to go back in time and save Laurel Lance. Killing off Black Canary was the single dumbest thing this show has ever done, and this episode, and these moments with Laurel, made me realize how badly this show needs her. Please, I am begging you, Comic Book Gods, wave your magic wand and bring her back for good. There simply cannot exist a Green Arrow narrative without his Black Canary. It is wrong. It feels wrong. 

Uggh, okay. So our heroes exit the alien mind probe thingie, and come to realize they are actually in an alien spaceship. In space. They manage to steal an escape pod, but they can't fly it. 

But wait! Remember that thing that Team Arrow needed? Well said thing helped them get coordinates for our heroes, and just when all seems lost, the Waverider, piloted by Nate and Gideon, show up to save the day! 

Sidenote: this seemed like a huge missed opportunity to have Supergirl fly into space and kick alien ass. I mean kicking alien ass is why they brought her to Earth-1, no? She has done incredibly little alien asskicking. Just sayin'

Anyway, turns out that while Oliver and Co. (no not the Disney movie, which yes, Cisco totally referenced!) were dreaming of better times, the aliens were probing their minds for something. And that something leads to the ominous end of this episode:

Probing their minds helped wrap up some kind of weapon the Dominators are now ready to deploy. Things are looking pretty grim.

We'll have to wait and see how Legends of Tomorrow wraps up this storyline! 

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

"Invasion!" Rocks the Arrowverse - The Flash S03E08

#DCWeek continues, with The Flash kicking off the real start of the alien invasion of Earth-1 (aka the Arrowverse). Don't come expecting Shakespearean story-telling, because the story is quite simple, but do come expecting lots of fun and a surprisingly good continuation of several existing storylines on The Flash and Legends of Tomorrow. You may also expect plenty of butthurt, because someone always has to be angry at someone else in the Berlantiverse. Always. It is a universal constant.

In fact, last night's The Flash rocked its highest viewer ratings since December 9 2014. These crossover things, you might want to keep doing them, CW.

(spoilers beyond the fold)

Okay let's get the simple story out of the way, because it's quick and easy. An alien pod lands in the middle of Central City, and when Barry goes to investigate, a bunch of aliens pop out of it and run off. Lila of ARGUS reveals to him that this isn't the first time these aliens, called the Dominators, have been here, and that back in the 50s a bunch of soldiers got killed for messing with them. Lila and the official channels want Barry to step off and let them handle it, but we all know how that's gonna go. And yeah, the aliens end up coming for the President and abducting him.

So there's your setup. Let's get to the meat that matters (...mmm bacon).

The real Civil War!

The episode actually started off with a brief scene of the future, wherein Barry and Oliver are facing off against all the other heroes, because the Avengers are noobs and every DC fan knows it. Real heroes fight each other with completely lopsided odds: two against like 25, because we all know Supergirl counts as at least twenty of the Arrowverse heroes.

Ok but let's back up to see how we got here!

Some really fun Flashy moments in this episode!

The Flash figures he's in over his head with these aliens, so he gathers the troops, starting with Team Arrow, who includes Speedy for this one because Thea is super excited at the prospect of kicking alien ass. Felicity then calls for the Legends of Tomorrow to join in on the fun. So let's tally this up, shall we? We now have Green Arrow, Felicity, Spartan, Speedy, The Flash, Iris, HR Wells, Cisco, Caitlin, White Canary, Heatwave, The Atom, and Firestorm. Yes, that means the Legend newbies Steel and Vixen got left behind, as well as Green Arrow's proteges, and Joe and Iris are so busy lying to Wally about what a gifted meta he is, that he doesn't join in on the fun either.

But even with this teamup, Barry doesn't think it's enough, so he and Vibe open up a portal to Earth-38 and bring in Supergirl (we get the exact same scene in her apartment that we did in yesterday's Supergirl).

I think the moment I was most looking forward to with this crossover was the Arrowverse meeting Supergirl for the first time (especially Diggle), and boy I wasn't disappointed.

Team Arrow in particular isn't super impressed by the sight of a mildly petite pretty blonde girl in a skirt, as grumpy Oliver is all like, "I thought you said you were bringing an alien."

So Kara is all like:

Diggle's calmly-but-not-really "I'm convinced" is probably one of the great moments in this episode.

Okay, so we now have an alien on the team. Oliver still doesn't seem impressed, and Kara wonders if he doesn't like her, but Barry assures her he's that way with everyone. Despite the fact that Oliver tries to make Barry the team leader, it's pretty clear that Barry doesn't know what he's doing, and when Oliver quietly makes suggestions that Barry immediately echoes, there was another great moment when the Legends are like, "So are we supposed to just ignore the fact that he said that?"

I'm gushing about these scenes a little, but honestly the chemistry between all the actors is there, and these scenes were just super fun. Kudos on the care taken by the writers here, because I'm sure I wasn't the only one looking forward to these moments.

Oliver McGrumpyPants suggests that everyone else train against Supergirl, and he does ask Kara not to go easy on them. If you ask me, though, she went pretty easy on them:

I just adore Kara's expression here, because you know she's all like, "Hee hee that tickles!"

Surprisingly, even though this was The Flash's episode, the story ends up revealing the end of a plot thread that had been left open for weeks now over at Legends of Tomorrow. Stein and Jax reveal to Barry and Oliver that they discovered a message from future Barry in the Waverider's secret room, and we finally get to hear what that message was: future-Barry is telling Captain Hunter not to trust past Barry because of the major Flashpoint screw-up. This is the first time Oliver is hearing about Flashpoint, because apparently Felicity kept the secret pretty well. Oliver takes the news with a heavy sigh (Metas, emirite?) and then delivers another great line: "One sci-fi problem at a time." In typical Green Arrow fashion, he suggests they need to keep this a secret from everyone else until after the aliens are dealt with.

You would think by now these people would have figured out that keeping secrets from one another never ends well.

Because of course, Cisco ends up finding the recording from future Barry lying around (dammit, Stein, really?), and confronts Barry about it. That's the point at which everyone finds out about Flashpoint. And remember that butthurt I talked about in the beginning of this review? Yeah, suddenly everyone is super pissed at Barry, especially Diggle at finding out that Barry "erased a daughter out of his life."

This was also the point at which my partner and I booed, hissed, and jeered loudly at the television. Because wow, the stones on Sara and her team, as they express their disappointment with Barry being so selfish and changing time because of someone he loves. Sara Lance literally just spent the entire first half of her show's season screwing up her team's plans to deal with time anomalies because everytime she saw Damien Darhk she would go absolutely batshit and try to kill him to save her sister's life. And Stein... Stein... who gives Barry his best "I'm so disappointed in you, son" look! Stein, the man who walked his younger self happily around the Waverider! And I'm not so sure that the reveal of Stein's daughter in this episode is due to Flashpoint at all, but rather at Stein's own meddling in his younger self's romance with Clarissa! Jax wanted to kill white Southerners in Civil War Mississippi! And this team kills historical randos in every single episode!

I literally cannot even right now with the Legends.

Anyway, the team doesn't want anything to do with Barry, and Oliver shows solidarity with his speedster bro, so Supergirl leads the rest to go rescue the president. There's a pretty brilliant interaction between Heatwave and Supergirl that I never knew I needed in my life, before they storm the castle to save the president.

Meanwhile, Oliver and Barry bond in a really cute and sweet scene where Oliver says that if he had Barry's power, he would have saved his own parents too. Their moment is interrupted when STAR Labs comes under attack... by Supergirl and her team. Turns out that they not only didn't save the President, but they were brainwashed by an alien thing.

"Well, this sucks..." - Barry Allen, probably

There is a fight wherein Oliver and Barry are clearly going to lose, and Wally briefly zooms in to help, gets hurt, and Oliver has to carry him to safety. Meanwhile, Barry pisses off Supergirl and gets her to chase him all the way back to the alien thingie, and uses her to destroy it. 

Crisis averted! Or not! Because before we can really celebrate, heroes start disappearing!

"Run, Barry, R--" - Oliver Queen, probably

In a minor The Flash continuing plot point, after Wally nearly gets killed here, HR Wells agrees to train him. I mean, in season one, Barry had Harrison Wells/Eobard Thawne to train him. And in season two, Cisco had Harrison Wells of Earth-2 to bond with. So it makes total sense that in season three, young padawan Wally West shall have a Wells to train him as well. Even if said Wells is... a novelist.

Sounds legit.

Anyway, some of our heroes have been beamed aboard by Scotty, apparently, and the story will continue in tonight's Arrow.

I think what I really liked about this crossover overall--despite the butthurt and the complete lack of a sense of irony on behalf of the Legends--is that this really felt like the Berlantiverse was fully interconnected, for once. I mean yeah heroes appear randomly in each other's shows, but often those moments seem incredibly pointless, like the writers are just saying, "Oh hey, don't forget, these universes are interconnected... now back to our regular storylines that have nothing to do with anyone else!" But other than Supergirl's episode, this crossover feels like okay, yeah, these guys all inhabit the same world. Their lives are interconnected as they go about their superheroing business. They effect each other: Barry and his time travel affected everyone, of course, but we also revealed two major Legends of Tomorrow plots here (future-Barry's message, and Stein's daughter), and Oliver Wayne *cough* I mean Queen, is the gruff and smart leader that everyone else naturally trusts, much like a certain dude in a bat costume in most of your Justice League teamups.

Let's see what Arrow does with this crossover. Hope you are enjoying #DCWeek!


Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

Critical Hits and Misses #77

• Terry Crews is now campaigning to voice Doomfist in Blizzard's Overwatch. Yes, please? Now? (Ivonne)


• Gamasutra’s Katherine Cross attended PAX Australia and covered its panel on online harassment in the games industry. She also wrote about the changes in the Australian games industry in recent years - especially the effects of the 2008 economic crisis. (Dominik)


• Earlier this week, the CW shared a metric buttload (yes, this is a scientific measurement) of pictures and news about the huge 4-way Berlantiverse crossover that starts on Nov. 28 with Supergirl. Are you psyched yet? (Critical Writ staff)

For today's musical hit, here's Ariana Grande live from the 2016 American Music Awards, with "Side to Side." (Ivonne)

Today's critical rolls:
1. Are you excited about the Berlantiverse crossover? What are you looking forward to the most?

— Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: don't be a Dominator who needs to get your ass kicked by superheroes.

Running "Out of Time" - Legends of Tomorrow S02E01

I think my visceral hatred of the Vandal Savage storyline, coupled with my intense dislike of what this show chose to do to the Hawkpeople, made me deeply unappreciative of Legends of Tomorrow's first season. I mean, I watched all of it out of a sense of obligation to keeping in touch with all aspects of a TV universe I knew would eventually connect a lot better. I love The Flash and remain loyal to Arrow despite season 4's shenanigans. And, I can admit that LoT had some fun moments last season (like the western episode).

Right away, the season premiere shows that LoT has improved tenfold, if only because that awful Vandal Savage storyline is finally over, and the albatrosses around the neck of this show were gone, since the Hawk people have exited for now.

But I have also come to realize that Legends of Tomorrow doesn't take itself seriously, so there really isn't any reason to do more with this show than sit back and enjoy the blatant goofiness. Look, this show is dumb. But it's supposed to be. These people are running around in time, kind of trying to save it, all the while have the time of their lives.

(spoilers for the season 2 premiere to follow)

Still, the season premiere had some huge pacing issues, and a few puzzling choices made by the writing team.

For example, the episode begins in Star City, where some dude bulls his way into Oliver Queen's mayoral office and right away lets Oliver know that he's the Green Arrow. Turns out this guy is a historian of sorts, who mysteriously knows that there have been some changes in time (which makes zero sense since like, whenever Barry Allen mucks with time, he's usually the only one who knows. well, him and other speedsters). Anyway, Nate Heywood, historian extraordinaire, tells Oliver that the Legends are in trouble.

Does Star City have a naval force we didn't know about? Because Oliver acquires a freaking submarine so he and Nate can deep dive into the Atlantic to find the sunken Waverider, Rip Hunter's ship. And seriously, where's the scene of Thea freaking out that the already absentee-mayor is going on a dive?

Anyway, Nate and Oliver get on board the Waverider and find Mick Rory, aka Heatwave, in stasis. From here on out, we get Mick's story on what happened to the Legends, while he proceeds to get drunk. Oliver really has no role to play here other than to listen and ask questions. There really wasn't any reason for him to be here. And eventually he leaves Nate on the Waverider as a new crew member. What even was the point of Oliver being there? I mean I get it, it was probably an attempt to tie Legends back to the wider world of the Berlantiverse, but come on.

Okay so what did happen to everyone? Well, Sarah gets seduced by the Queen of France while her teammates are trying to save Louis XIII from time assassins. This was actually a fun and well-done sequence. Captain Hunter is exasperated by his unruly team, who don't give a damn about using their tech while in the past (the bad guys did it first!), but they do manage to save Louis XIII. And since Sarah "prepped" the Queen for romance, Louis XIV can now be conceived.

It's true, though. 

After that, they discover that there's a new time anomaly: a bomb went off in New York in 1942, three years before the actual a-bomb was even invented. Off to the 40s they rush to save Albert Einstein from being abducted by Nazis, much to Dr. Stein's delight as he proceeds to fangurl over meeting Einstein in person.

But they didn't save time, because someone besides Einstein knows how to build a bomb: his ex-wife Mileva Maric.

Sarah, who secretly has an agenda to take out Damien Darhk and get justice for her sister's death, discovers that Damien has Mileva and is involved in the New York attack. After a well-choreographed fight scene to try to retrieve the bomb from Darhk (and failing at it), the Waverider has to go deep-diving to chase after Damien's submarine and prevent New York from getting nuked.

I don't really understand how a sleek ship from the future is incapable of running circles around a bulky 1940s Nazi sub, but okay. The only way to save New York is to put the Waverider in the way of the bomb when it's fired. Captain Hunter doesn't know if the ship will survive the impact, so he timescatters the team to save their lives, sending them to random (I guess?) points in history. The only one who can't be teleported is Rory, due to the injuries he received at the dock fight. So that's how he ends up in stasis at the bottom of the Atlantic for Oliver to find later. And Captain Hunter himself appears to have gone down with his ship.

Heatwave has been telling this story over beer bottles, but after Ollie leaves, Mick and Nate figure out "where" in time the other team members were scattered to. In a super rushed rescue montage, Ray gets rescued from being eaten by a T-Rex, Sarah gets rescued from being burned as a witch during the Salem witch trials (and she's totally unrepentant about "corrupting" the townswomen), and Martin and Jax get rescued from losing their heads at a medieval king's whims.

The team's back together and they have Nate now, but not even Gideon seems to know what happened to Captain Hunter.

And we get a final revelation at the end of the episode: Damien Darhk is now working with Reverse Flash (thanks Barry!). Wooo Legion of Doom incoming, folks!

Such sinister! So Doom! 

Sarah, as always, is a delight, but with the exit of Kendra last season, White Canary is the only chick around right now. Looks like with the Justice Society of America we'll be getting more ladies, so I'm looking forward to seeing them in action.

I still don't understand what the point was in having Oliver in this episode. And we didn't even get any mention of "Flashpoint." How do the Legends, who are actively tracking changes in time, completely miss Barry's screw-up? I mean, I'm sure it will come up at some point, because Reverse Flash is kicking around, but I'm disappointed it wasn't mentioned from the get-go.

Overall the pacing for this episode was way off, especially that rescue montage. However, there's a sense of this show trying to be light-hearted and goofy fun, so we'll see if the writing can keep me entertained.


Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

We Have Opinions, TV Edition #3

We have opinions about TV shows! Check out the mini-reviews for Legends of Tomorrow, Jane the Virgin, and Faking It below.

Legends of Tomorrow S1E15 - “Destiny” (and also: the rest of the season)

This is how I imagine a conversation between Doctor Raymond Palmer and the rest of the world would go:

Dr. Palmer: “I just want my life to make a difference.”
The world: “You founded a multi-billion dollar company and created world-changing technologies.”
Dr. Palmer: “Yes, but I just want to be remembered, you know?”
The world: “After you apparently died, we renamed an entire city in remembrance of you. To what greater honor could anyone conceivably aspire?”
Dr. Palmer: “I want. To make. A real. Difference.”
The world: “You know for a fact that in the future, the work you have done will be used in robotics—and presumably many other fields—for generations.”

Following this exchange, an obstinate Dr. Palmer would presumably melt into a puddle of self-loathing. — Etienne Domingue




Jane the Virgin s02e21, “Chapter Forty-Three” & s02e22, “Chapter Forty-Four” 

In last week’s episode, Jane and Petra explicitly talk about Petra feeling like a bad mother compared to Jane—but instead of exploring that further, the show carries the theme of competition over into a conflict about whom Rafael listens to more.

I usually think Jane the Virgin manages to dig deep into all of the more relatable relationship issues that balance the dramatic telenovela elements, even when the soapiness is turned up high. When it comes to Petra and Jane’s relationship though, it seems to be constantly overshadowed and pushed aside in order for the rest of the plot to move forward.

It’s a shame, because the show does well with interactions between its complex and varied women. And since the Jane/Petra friend-shipping is strong among the show’s fans (a “fact” I base on the comment sections of three different sites as well as my own opinion, so you know it’s 100% accurate), I imagine more focus on that duo would go over well with the audience.

Let’s hope there’s more of that next season! We all want to know how Michael is, but we also want to know what a long P & J conversation about the challenges of motherhood in a modern-yet-sexist society would sound like.

And perhaps a discussion on who’s the best male feminist ally—Raphael, Michael or Rogelio (#Team Michael #SupportiveFiancésSupportFeminism #TooCoolForMachoDrool). — Tova Crossler Ernström

Faking It s03e09, “Ex-Posed”

Last week, Liam decided to set Lauren up with a guy to make her less testy (sigh) and a more pleasant room-mate. When he finds a suitable match, and introduces the two, the conversation goes like this:

Liam: “Hey, I was just talking to my friend Preston about... What were we talking about?”
Preston: “American Exceptionalism.”
Lauren: “For or against?”
Preston: How could there be a question? For.
Lauren: *surprised chuckle* “I thought I was the only person in this school who believed America has a manifest destiny.”
Preston: “Well, so did I”.

Wow. I wish this post was a direct line to the writers and showrunners of Faking It. In that case I would tell them: I love Lauren. I love her so much I accept that she’s a Republican, because it suits the character (though I happen to believe she would vote for a different party if she were real).

But I think I speak for a big part of your audience when I say: No decent, historically-aware person would use the expression “manifest destiny” about the USA in 2016.

Even if Lauren is all about American exceptionalism, that can be expressed without colonial terms traditionally used to legitimize slavery and genocide. I promise you it’s possible. As the post only reaches its handful of readers (none of whom are working on Faking It, as far as I know) I’m telling you instead. Feel free to comfort me with your wisdom and historical knowledge in the comments! — Tova Crossler Ernström