Deadpool The Duck #5: Marvel's 'The Odd Couple' Adaptation Concludes

That's the perfect way to end this mashup miniseries, with a Looney Tunes homage. What self-respecting humor comic worth its salt wouldn't use one, especially with a talking duck as the star? Will Deadpool The Duck #5 act as a satisfactory conclusion to the saga? What was the point of all of that vomit from the previous issues? How many jokes has Doctor Bong been forced to endure based on his poor choice of supervillain names? Some of these answers will be revealed!

I'm going to get the queasiest query out of the way first. It turns out that the hero-transmogrifying nanobots were in the, ahem, waste spewed out from Deadpool. To turn back to normal, Deadpool The Duck has to consume it. Out of deference to both the more sensitive readers of this fair website and myself, I am not going to share any images from that sequence. Never let it be said that Critical Writ doesn't take easily-nauseated review readers into consideration.

Reaction shots, however, are perfectly fine. Ain't I a stinker?

For the most part, this really is a satisfactory conclusion to the story. The art is colorful and clear, and it has a delightful cartoony aspect to it. Apart from the aforementioned puke issue, I do think that Doctor Bong was defeated a tad too easily, but at least it wasn't just a random bystander who stopped him. Instead, his own weird habit of falling in love with random character angered his associate. I would recommend the miniseries as a whole to your average comics fan, as long as you love humor.

Deadpool The Duck #4 is written by Stuart Moore, drawn by Jacopo Camagni, colored by Israel Silva, and lettered by VC's Joe Sabino. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Critical Hits & Misses #156

"Beauty," one of the two statues outside the New York Public Library. 

• The Guardian did a piece on Emma Watson after the minor internet furor that erupted from Watson showing too much breast in a Vanity Fair article. While I don't necessarily agree with everything in The Guardian's article, it is an interesting take on Watson and her feminism and privilege. 


• Speaking of Beauty (in more ways than one), this fabulous historical article from Broadly discusses the life and tragic end of America's first supermodel, Audrey Munson. You probably don't recognize her name, but it's likely you have seen her body. She was the model used for a number of recognizable statues, including the statue outside the New York Public Library, and the fountain outside the Plaza Hotel. A fascinating and sad read!

For today's musical hit, the ever amazing violinist Lindsey Stirling does her version of "Beauty and the Beast." Check out the dudebros during the "Gaston" segment. And her Mrs. Potts dress!!!! OMG I am such a fangurl of this woman and her music and videos.

Today's critical rolls: Choose your own adventure! (i.e., talk about what you want)


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Prometheus is a Jerk and Other Truths - Arrow

To be frank, I'm still reeling a bit from "Checkmate," episode 16 of Arrow's season 5. And, I've sat on my reviews of the previous two episodes as well, because I wasn't really certain where the narrative arc would lead, and I wanted a clearer picture before I started opining about it.

Well, Prometheus has been fully revealed and he is gloriously terrifying, and quite easily the best supervillain on the CW superhero brigade to date. A few weeks ago I never would have thought I would be saying that, but here we are. Actually, I would say that Prometheus and Legend of Tomorrow's Legion of Doom are both amazing, but where the LoD is kind of hilariously entertaining (yet effective) in their evilness, Prometheus is frightening to a degree I never thought the CW shows were capable of writing.

Read on to find out why!

(spoilers ahead)

As a very quick recap of the main storyline, in Ep. 14, "The Sin-Eater," Susan Williams confronts Oliver and asks if he's the Green Arrow, and he lies about it, of course. But when Thea hears how close Susan is getting to the truth, she hatches a plan and has Felicity help her with hacking Susan's computer. They plant a bunch of nasty stuff on her laptop, which ultimately gets Susan fired from her reporter job and pretty much ensures that she will never work in media again. This leads Oliver to telling Thea she is a lot like their mother--which is not what Thea wanted to hear. Meanwhile, Prometheus leaks the truth to Police Chief Pike about the Green Arrow killing Billy, which leads to Oliver asking Pike to back off from the investigation for a bit. Not suspicious at all or anything, Mr. Mayor.

And in Ep 15, "Fighting Fire with Fire," it's revealed that Prometheus is actually Adrian Chase, the DA that Oliver has trusted all this time. For a while the presence of Vigilante threw everyone off this particular scent, since in the comic books, Vigilante's identity is Adrian Chase. In this episode, Oliver is facing impeachment over the cover-up of Billy's death by Green Arrow, and ultimately, instead of throwing anyone else under the bus, Mayor Queen decides to throw the Green Arrow under instead, announcing that he is a cop-killer and making him public enemy no 1. Apparently this is enough to stop the impeachment somehow. I didn't quite follow that line of thinking but ok. Thea exits the show because she's afraid of becoming her parents. And Susan gets her job back and she and Oliver are a thing again. Except that Adrian nabs her at the end of this episode, so she's probably in for a rough ride.

Okay then, so Ep 16 is "Checkmate" and it's a doozy! The team ends up learning through Felicity's Helix involvement that Adrian Chase is Prometheus, and she also ends up finding out where he's keeping Susan (who is being tortured/terrified). But the quiet downward spiral of Felicity is probably the real story here. In order to obtain all this information from her hacker buddies at Helix, she needs to start doing something for them, and "doing something" means hacking a DHS drone program, which I probably don't have to tell you is highly illegal. Not to mention that when Felicity gets a tour of the Helix compound, we find out that Helix has surveillance of like EVERYONE going on. To hell with your right to privacy, folks, but no worries, Helix is just protecting you from the big bad government! Red alert, Felicity... red alert.

LOL I am so going to federal prison for the rest of my life at the end of this season...

Much relieved to no longer have to hide his identity, Adrian Chase is now glad that Oliver knows who he is, because now he can openly be a giant dick. Like he seriously swaggers around that mayoral office like he owns the place, because he totally does, while you can practically hear Oliver grinding his teeth. But Oliver can't really do much, because after denouncing the Green Arrow as a cop killer a few episodes back, it would kind of be really bad if Adrian revealed to the world that Oliver is the Green Arrow. Also, Adrian still has Susan in his clutches, so anything Oliver does endangers her.

When Oliver quietly tries to get Pike to investigate Adrian's real identity, Pike immediately gets stabbed. And when Oliver tries to one-up Prometheus by bringing Adrian's wife to the scene of the crime and revealing the truth to her, Adrian seems annoyed AF but he still stabs her. I mean, I don't know why Oliver expected this psychopath to stop everything because of his wife, but I personally wouldn't be surprised if Adrian stabbed his own mother. He may yet get a chance to, since that's like the only piece on the board Team Arrow hasn't obtained.

Ultimately, Oliver finds out the his old mentor Talia also trained Prometheus, and when he demands to find out why, Talia reveals that she's mad that Ollie killed her father too. I don't know how Oliver never put together the pieces of Talia's training of him being so similar to Nyssa and the Assassins, but as much as I love our intrepid hero, he has always been kind of really freaking clueless. This is consistent with the character, and if he didn't always have people around to think for him, he'd never get very far. I accept that Oliver never connected Talia to R'as al Ghul because Ollie is kind of a loveable dumbass.

My name is Talia al Ghul. You killed my father. Prepare to die. 

And now that the full storyline has been revealed, and Prometheus has stated his ultimate endgame, I now also accept what this entire story arc is about. It's been hinted at several times this season, particularly in "The Sin-Eater" where the episode seemed preoccupied with the whole "paying for your sins" idea. Oliver has spent his life, even his misspent youth, never appreciating how his actions now may impact not just the future, but specifically, the people around him. He was a dumbass kid who didn't care whose bed he flitted from, and ultimately he ended up putting the Lance family through some serious crap. In following his jackass father's kill-book, he ultimately created Prometheus. In killing R'as al Ghul and taking part in the League of Assassin shenanigans, Oliver turned Talia against him. And now Prometheus is making everyone around Oliver pay the price.

Actions have consequences. This is not exactly a new idea, and certainly not a new idea in the comic book/superhero genre. But I will say that Arrow has done a phenomenal job in writing Oliver and Prometheus' arcs this season. And Stephen Amell and the smug-faced Josh Segarra have sold it every step of the way.

This is my "I own you, Oliver" face. 

Ultimately, Prometheus wants to mold Oliver into a killer just like him. To do so, he is going to dismantle every piece of Oliver's life, right in front of him. By the end of this episode, it's becoming clear that Team Arrow is in over its head, and frankly has been all season. And even worse, Prometheus ends up abducting Oliver. Chained up in some dark, dank place, Oliver is going to have to trust that the family he built around himself, his team and friends and allies, are going to pull through for him (and themselves) in time. If Oliver has made a great deal of bad choices that lead up to this point, then ultimately, because he is our hero, there must also be a good pay-off; he's made good choices too, in the form of the people whose trust and love he's earned.

Adrian keeps trying to paint Oliver to be a bad guy, and he wants to make Oliver a bad guy. But we are all of us human, and we all of us make bad choices at some point in our lives. Yes, those actions have consequences, but we weather those storms best when we have the support of our family and friends.

Like a typical supervillain, Adrian thinks that Oliver's "family" are his weakness. But in another superhero theme that's been used over and over again (but still works), Oliver has to believe that his family is his real strength.

We'll see if said family can pull through for him, and if they all survive it. I predict they won't be able to do it without calling in the big guns.

Heeeyyyyy, don't forget about me, guys!

By which I mean, of course, Vigilante. Because there has to be a reason why this justice-by-the-force-of-my-guns character has been hovering around the outer edges of season five. He's in the story for a reason, one hopes. And the showrunners suggested in an interview a couple months back that Evelyn Sharp's part in the story wasn't done, although to be honest, the writers messed that whole thing up, because I don't care if she ever shows up again.

I also predict Felicity is heading for a world of hurt with her Helix pals.

On the subject of female characters (because this is Critical Writ, after all), where most of season five has been very strong in terms of story arc and acting, I am somewhat disgruntled by the sidelining of female characters. Evelyn was a worthless character who never had a chance to shine before she went traitor, and there was that whole confusing decision to bring Black Siren into the picture for one whole episode and talk about redeeming her but then shoving her into an ARGUS jail and forgetting about her. Dinah Drake, the new Black Canary, started out strong, but has since faded into the background over the past few episodes. I want to love her, but they really need to do more with her. Thea, again, started the season out strong but her morally repugnant actions against Susan Williams has caused her to exit off the show. Susan has certainly been an interesting mayoral-antagonist-turned-lover, but I'm not a huge fan of turning her into hero bait in this last episode. And Felicity has a thing going on, but the season has been very slow to develop that thing, until we hit full throttle in "Checkmate" and suddenly she's hacking the damn DHS and diving off the deep end into a story arc that simply cannot end well.

As usual, Team Arrow, you can do better for the compelling female characters you have. But overall, keep up the good work. This has been an excellent season.

Arrow airs on Wednesdays at 8/7c on the CW.

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

Jughead #13 Review: Burgers And Internet Humiliation, The Perfect Match!

It's unlucky issue number thirteen for Jughead Jones and friends as Reggie Mantle takes over! Well, unlucky for them, but very lucky for me, as Chuck Clayton finally appears in the "New Riverdale" 'verse. Sure, Dilton outright describes the recap page as "questionably canon", but I'll take what I can get. It's better than the villainous version of the character in Riverdale.

I genuinely hope Archie Comics, Inc. makes a Chuck Clayton series with Derek Charm as the artist.

The entire issue is a laugh riot, from the subtle background jokes ("Melody And Her Literal Cats Who Plat Cat-Sized Instruments", anyone?) to the jokes at the expense of the original comics. The "Sugar, Sugar" joke and how quickly Archie shuts it down is gold. Also, Jughead's song isn't that bad, for the first song he's ever written. It reads like a Weird Al song, maybe a hybrid between one of his polka medleys and "Eat It." Ryan North, if you're reading this, it's great and I would definitely listen to it if it was real.

Unfortunately, some edits to the video make it extremely embarrassing and Jughead accidentally uploads it to the web, where it immediately goes viral. People across the world laugh at it, from Sabrina the Teenage Witch to an astronaut to two teens who might be Jason and Cheryl Blossom, I'm not sure. Unfortunately, this storyline won't be concluded until April, and it'll be Ryan North's final issue, to boot. I'm sure that it'll be great, given the previous stories.

Jughead #13 is written by Ryan North, drawn by Derek Charm, and lettered by Jack Morelli. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Riverdale Round-Up S1, E5-7: "Chapter Five: Heart Of Darkness", "Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!", and "Chapter Seven: In A Lonely Place"

"Chapter Five: Heart of Darkness"

I didn't mind the ongoing mystery about Betty's sister, Polly. It was actually pretty fascinating, especially because it tied into Jason's backstory. That is, until it turned into a weird version of the Hatfields and the McCoys. Yet another dark twist to add to the show's already very full plate: family rivalries. Didn't we already have a dose of that with Hermione Lodge and Cheryl's parents?

As for Archie, meh. I don't really care about football, so I had to resist the urge to mentally tune out and start imagining the Garfunkel And Oates song "Sports, Go Sports!" during those scenes. Ms. Grundy's specter also haunted some parts of the episode, with some jokes being made about her (ick, ick, ick). Her replacement character, a new music tutor who hopefully won't start a disturbing and age-inappropriate relationship, is boring but that might change as he gets more development.

"Chapter Six: Faster, Pussycats! Kill! Kill!"

Now you've got my attention, Riverdale. How could you not, with a title like that? If the show was airing at a different time, I might suspect that Afterlife With Archie's vampire incarnations of the pop trio might be coming into play, but the creators already confirmed that we wouldn't be seeing that this season. Although, given the show's very recent renewal, I wouldn't put it past them to plan a zombie special next year. I'm pretty sure that the title simply refers to a practice session. Maybe Josie's just a really harsh motivational speaker. Kill those lyrics! Murder that keyboard!

And now for the whoopee hat-wearing elephant in the room, Jughead and Betty are now sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. But not while eating burgers, I'm pretty sure that's a health hazard. Don't choke on your food, kids. The show mines continuity everywhere from the original stories to the revamped comics to Afterlife With Archie, so I would say that they threw the "Jughead is asexual" plot from Chip Zdarsky's Jughead run right out the window, but it might just be from the initial comics. Jughead once told Betty that if he ever were to try to kiss any girls, she would be the only one. 

Personally, I'm not really angry so much as resigned. To me, the most interesting Jughead stories are the ones that involve him just doing goofy stuff. Still, I doubt an episode of Riverdale would have Jughead eating thousands of burgers in a contest or becoming a time-traveling hero (No, really), so I'll settle for seeing how Betty and Jughead bounce off of each other. One's a movie-obsessed, hungry miscreant. The other's straight-laced and sweet. Together, they fight crime and try to solve the murder of Jason Blossom.

Speaking of love, isn't it a little weird that a show about the comics hasn't really gotten to the whole love triangle thing yet? The pilot had shades of it, but now Archie's making out with Valerie. To be fair, that also happened, but it seems like we don't have as much of a love triangle as a love rhombic triacontahedron. Hmm, maybe the show is more like the comics than I previously imagined. In any case, it does lead to the great line delivered to Archie from Veronica, "You literally have zero loyalty, you ginger Judas."

"Chapter Seven: In A Lonely Place"

I'm not completely made of stone. That opening sequence was excellent. Creepy and nostalgic, it's going on my mental list of the best moments in the show. The cheerful public domain music that I remember from select episodes of Spongebob Squarepants, the classic designs, and the hyper-colorful scenery all make it look bright and cheerful, in a dramatic contrast with the knife in Archie's back. If all of the episodes were made in that way, then half of my issues with the show would be gone, just for the sheer weirdness of seeing disturbing things happen in a cheerful location. I hope they recreate it for next season's potential Afterlife With Archie Halloween episode.

Other than that, well, we had more family drama with Jughead and his not-so-dear dad. Cheryl continues to be a monster and had several more disturbing lines that could reference a creepier version of her relationship with Jason. Just go read Afterlife already, this is the fourth time I've referenced it. It just felt average. Nothing else that wowed me, nothing infuriating. The show won't come back until the thirtieth, so I guess I'll see you then.

Riverdale airs on Thursdays on the CW. You can also watch select episodes on the CW website and app.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

The Firelight Isle - an Indie Comic You Need to Read

Due to my paltry knowledge of comics, I had no idea that Paul Duffield was a very accomplished British comics artist. I came to know his work when he collaborated with Warren Ellis on FreakAngels. I remember when FreakAngels was still being published; I stumbled across it and I was delighted by the art most of all. (I’m extremely superficial, alright?) So when I found out Paul Duffield had a new project, The Firelight Isle, I started following it.

To my shock, not many people know The Firelight Isle. If you love comics and like supporting indie creators, you absolutely must check this out.

The Firelight Isle is set on another Earth, on an isolated island nation with a very fleshed-out civilisation and culture. It tells the coming of age stories of the weaver Anlil and her friend Sen as they’re about to be parted on their road to adulthood. Anlil has an important commission to make, and Sen is to undergo a mysterious trial. Their nation, Azul, is about to change: a visitor from beyond the sea has come with new ideas that will upset the status quo.

It’s difficult to describe the ambience and gorgeousness of the drawings, so here it is the animated trailer for The Firelight Isle.

It almost makes you wish someone would make an animated film out of it, doesn’t it?

What I like the most about The Firelight Isle is that it’s so clearly a passion project. The panelling is beautiful, and extremely creative. It perfectly blends the digital and print mediums. It may sound like a strange thing to say of a webcomic, however, actually it is not.

Each "chapter" of The Firelight Isle as a webcomic is called a "ribbon"—there are currently thirteen—a creative way of creating a single page within the digital medium to provide a seamless transition through that particular segment of the story. Paul Duffield’s long-term goal is to eventually publish it in print; each ribbon is clearly conceived as being easily segmented into pages for print, but always taking advantage of the layout and page freedom the web provides. Reading just flows throughout the page, with just the right amount of pacing to be able to parse out relevant details while appreciating the art. The speech bubbles have a flow not unlike that found in most weekly published manga, which makes for really engaging and dynamic reading: the text guides you from one relevant detail to the next.

If you want to know more about the process behind the creation of these astounding ribbons, you can read more here. For those more into manga, or if you want to read more on the topic, there’s this 2010 article over at The Hooded Utilitarian that breaks down how the visual language of speech bubbles works in both manga and comics; you’ll be able to see for yourself how that plays out in The Firelight Isle. Do bear in mind that, in art, there are no hard-and-fast rules, though.

I wish someone with a little bit more knowledge would talk about the lettering. The lettering is embedded within the story itself, and it helps shape the story into a cohesive whole. There is this panel, for instance:

See how the bell tolling has transformed the space around it?  It’s a very creative way of conveying the urgency and volume of that sound. It is ominous: it means something will happen. (I wouldn’t want to spoil it for you though, so I'll stop there.)

Paul Duffield himself calls it an "anthropological fantasy," a fitting name since it centers around how Sen and Anlil live in their own society. What is most interesting is how much thought has gone into Azul’s society, clothing, etc. On Paul’s blog you will find out more about his whole creative process and updates on any upcoming work. He also has a Patreon, so if you have any money to spare on a very original creator, please sponsor him!

As for me? I’m going to give it another read.

Rosario is an early-twenties, outspoken woman, who likes to burrow between piles of books, and store miscellaneous trivia in her head.

Critical Hits & Misses #155

• This BBC article wonders if food bloggers are fueling racist stereotypes, with the "cultural misrepresentation" of food when presented by white bloggers. An interesting discussion of cultural recipes and their misuse by food bloggers. 


• Dan Stevens, who plays The Beast in Disney's upcoming live action adaptation of Beauty & the Beast, discusses how Emma Watson's feminism modernized a problematic fairy tale. 

For today's musical hit, we have Jessie Reyez's "Figures."

Today's critical rolls: Let's talk about food! What are some of your favorite ethnic dishes... and have you actually eaten authentic versions of them, made by people from that culture?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Into the Speedforce: The Flash Recap & Review, Plus a Romance Soapbox

After the beatdown I gave The Flash for last week's idiocies, it was nice to see the show bounce back with a fairly strong episode this week... with some caveats.

"Into the Speedforce" has Barry running back to the Speedforce to rescue Wally, who is now trapped there thanks to Savitar's trickery.

But I still have reasons to get up on my soapbox, so read on and find out why The Flash, and the CW in general, continues to exasperate me.

Spoilers beyond the fold.

So let's get the recap out of the way first.

Barry decides he has to go into the Speedforce to bring Wally back from whatever hell he is in. Iris is still belly-aching about the whole marriage thing, and Jesse wants desperately to accompany Flash into the Speedforce, but is told, as usual, that she needs to stay behind to protect Earth-1 while Barry is gone.

Meh. Rehashed excuses to keep the female speedster down are rehashed.

Jesse is, not surprisingly, pretty frustrated and feeling useless. Apparently idiocy is part of a speedster's superpower, because she decides that she has to take on Savitar on her own, despite everyone telling her it's a bad idea. After HR is a jackass and tells her to wait for "the real Flash" to get back (and THANK YOU Jesse for clocking him on the chin, he 100% deserved it), Jesse uses the armor piece they obtained last week to track down Savitar.

Okay, so far, despite the fact that I know it's dumb for her to face Savitar on her own because he's clearly a superpowered badass, I am 100% with her up to this point. She had a bunch of dudes just tell her that she can't do this on her own, that she's not "the real Flash," and that she needs to stay behind because reasons. I mean, she rightly points out that on Earth-2, she was the only Flash, and she had to face baddies down on her own, so why would this be any different?

Yeah, it's different. Because Hindu god of speed or something. 

I was with this plot up until the moment that HR gets on the commlink (where the hell was everyone else? Dinner break?) and ends up being the one that tells Jesse how to temporarily defeat Savitar. HR points out that there's no reason to wear armor if you're immortal, so find a weak spot in the armor.

This is pretty logical and I'm surprised that it's take like 16 episodes for anyone to figure this out, considering all the geniuses operating on Team Flash. A team of geniuses, I remind you, that includes Jesse Wells herself, because we have been told since the beginning that she's her father's daughter, and she knows science.

Tell me again why it's the clueless fiction writer that has to tell her that people don't wear armor if they are invulnerable?

Anyway, she stabs Savitar with the piece of armor, which causes him to run off yelping in pain.

Meanwhile, back in the Speedforce, Barry does not find the warm welcome he got in last season's "The Runaway Dinosaur." Not surprisingly, the Speedforce is slightly pissed that immediately after it helped Barry get over his mother's death, he went back in time to save his mother and caused Flashpoint. This time around, the Speedforce tells him that he needs to learn to deal with stuff on his own, instead of being babied by everyone else.

Totes Magotes! This show has spent three seasons babying Barry Allen, and the only reason he's even remotely successful is because of the people around him. I go back once again to Jesse pointing out that she was the sole Flash on Earth-2 and she had to fight things on her own, probably only with the help of her father.

Speedforce Eddie does not approve

So color me giddy at the Speedforce being super ornery and telling Barry he needs to grow up! It takes the form of Eddie Thawne, pointing out that Barry has never really had to sacrifice all that much to deal with stuff. Eddie, on the other hand, gave up his future with Iris and his very life, in order to save the world because Barry couldn't defeat Reverse-Flash on his own. And then the Speedforce turns into Ronnie Raymond, Caitlin's dead fiancee, another man who gave up his future and life in order to do what Barry couldn't do.

Speedforce Cold is best Speedforce!

But the best part was totally when the Speedforce manifested as Leonard Snart, aka Captain Cold, who sacrificed his life to save the Legends team. We are told here that Snart was inspired by Barry's heroism to make that sacrifice. Which okay... umm... what? I would never have credited Barry Allen with being the reason that Leonard Snart makes the hero's journey. Snart made his journey with the other Legends, and ultimately learned to be part of that team. He cared about those people, and specific to the moment of sacrifice, he cared especially about his partner, Mick Rory.

The hell does Barry have to do with that?

Okay, whatever. Having Wentworth Miller back, even for this briefest of moments, made up for the iffy reasons. As usual, Miller delivers his lines with a certain pizazz and bored intonation that just makes everything he says better. He could be reading the phone book and his sarcastic drawl would make that worth watching for hours. My favorite part was his bad Golden Age pun that he shoots at Jay Garrick.

Lolz look at me, Jay, I'm Captain America!

Yeah, Jay Garrick shows up. To save Barry of course. Don't get me wrong, I freaking love Jay and I was glad to see him. But the sacrifice that Jay makes--taking Wally's place so Barry can take Kid Flash home--seems to really go against everything the Speedforce was just trying to tell Barry. Yet another hero has sacrificed his life so that Barry can move on. I kind of wish Speedforce Snart had rolled his eyes and been like, "aww geez, not this shit again" and disappeared in a huff.

 So yeah, Wally and Barry get back home, Jay is now trapped in the Speedforce, and Barry has learned that he can't schlep the responsibility of saving Iris onto Wally... that it is his battle to fight and his alone. Jesse randomly decides that she is moving to Earth-3 to replace Jay there, because to hell with Earth-2, I guess, and there are apparently way too many speedsters on Earth-1 so screw it, let's get rid of the female speedster because of course.

K.

Time to get on my soapbox. Don't get me wrong, overall this episode wasn't bad. I probably sound really sarcastic and ornery about it. The Speedforce scenes were well done overall. But as I mentioned last week, I am a little bit tired of Barry and Co. having to relearn the same lessons, over and over again, and that seemed to be part of what the Speedforce was trying to tell him.

But whatever, because we need to talk about Iris.

Guys... seriously?

If this episode was pretty decent, it was ruined by the last scene, because we get what I have to call the "CW Melodrama Moment." This whole thing feeds the ridiculous and tired trope of Superheroes being incapable of keeping stable romantic relationships and ultimately settling down and having happiness. This is known as the Superheroes Stay Single trope, and the CW is particularly awful about it.

The romantic drama in The Flash this season can be boiled down to the following:

Barry: Will you marry me?
Iris: Yes. Wait, you asked me to marry you because reasons? I can't marry you! Because reasons!
Barry: But I love you! *goes off and does something heroic*
Iris: Ok while you were gone being heroic, I thought about it and changed my mind. I can marry you!
Barry: That's great! But I can't marry you. Because reasons!

Arrow did the same crap last season with Felicity walking out on her engagement to Oliver, and it was some of the worst characterizing and writing I've seen on a television show in a long time. Legends of Tomorrow's first season was plagued by the constant will they/won't they junk between Hawkgirl, Hawkdudebro, and Ray Palmer, and the best thing to happen to that show was when the Hawk people buggered off to wherever at the end of the season. See, they get to be happy and have a life together because they ditched the superheroics. Good riddance!

We're going to go be happy together. See ya, bitches! This is us exiting stage left!

And Supergirl, oh my goddess. Other than silly tension between Kara and James in the first season, Supergirl on CBS mostly avoided this kind of nonsense. Mostly. But the minute the show came to the CW, suddenly the black guy was shoved aside so he could be replaced by a hot white dudebro from Daxam. Like, don't get me wrong, I ship Mon-El and Kara simply because of the chemistry the actors have together, but the writers really needed to do a better job of making Mon-El worthy of Kara's love, because he isn't. And despite the fact that for whatever reason Kara is putting up with his crap, we can all bet on this: in the next episode or two, Kara will discover that Mon-El has been lying about his identity, so she's going to kick him to the curb. Which is logical and right, but it goes back to that Superheroes Stay Single trope I mentioned before. The Fandomentals blog has a fabulous analysis of why the Supergirl/Mon-El romance is problematic, to say the least. Worth the read!

Trumped-up romantic drama ruins these shows. Even Supergirl's lesbian romance between Alex and Maggie has been plagued by stupid drama. Both characters, despite being grown-ass women and professional badasses, sometimes act like they have the emotional maturity of children. Like, I can't believe they spent an episode recently with all the drama centered around Maggie hating Valentine's Day but Alex wanting to celebrate it. There were lots of tears. Good lord, I don't care. But at least they are staying together. Then again, neither of them are actual superheroes, so it's okay for them to stay together.

I can't believe I am going to write the following sentence, but here goes. Possibly having learned hard lessons from all the fan hatred over Olicity and the Hawkpeople last season, Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow have been the most mature in terms of relationships and romance of all the CW shows this year. Like seriously, Arrow has been mature about it. And "mature" is not a word I would normally have ever associated with Legends of Tomorrow. But there you have it, folks. Instead of hooking up long-term and trumping up more relationship drama, people on these shows have slept with other people, and acted like adults about it. Well so far; I guess the season isn't over yet. I hope they don't decide to have Adrian Chase kill Susan Williams on Arrow. Oh my god, please don't do this, Arrow.

Susan Williams: Look, I'm just here for the solid action in bed. Y'all can keep your crappy romance AND your superheroics...

So we are probably going to be plagued by at least another two, three, four seasons of Iris and Barry dancing the dance of the miserable and alone superhero.

And by the way? Candice Patton proves why she is better than the writers of this show give her any credit for. She believes that given Iris' fairly strong development this season, the only real answer on who can save Iris from Savitar is this: Iris has to save herself.

Well, that's the best idea I've heard from Team Flash or Team Flash in a long time.

The Flash airs on Tuesdays at 8/7c on the CW.

Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.

Riverdale #1 Review: Television Prequel One-Shot Provides Clarity, More Heart

I haven't made it too much of a secret that I have issues with Riverdale. Still, I do want to give it a chance. Certain aspects of the show may be disappointing and offensive, but the comic could still make some of the more confusing elements clearer. After all, the solicitations mentioned the backstory, right?

The first story is called "Sweetwater" and it focuses on Archie's construction job. Surprisingly, it's fairly funny and optimistic, countering the show's darkness. I really appreciated the scenes with Archie and his dad talking about the past. It helped to flesh them out. Unfortunately, it still has the abusive and disturbing student-teacher relationship with Miss Grundy, a plot point that I contend shouldn't be used anymore. Finally, some small panels of art seemed slightly off, but it could have been worse.

I'm sorry, but Archie does not look sixteen years old in the panel.

"Summer Nights" focuses on Betty's character development over the summer. Aside from her mother, it's not bad. The brief scenes with Polly provide a decent set-up for the mystery in the show and I really appreciate the feminism in the story. I'm not sure if this was a coincidence or not, but Betty was shown to be interning at Hello Giggles, a real-life online community. Was that intentional? Finally, I liked that they kept her diary in the Riverdale universe.

Fittingly, the following tale, "Fall From Grace" recounts the events that led up to Veronica coming to Riverdale. I think it might be my favorite. The art is great, with spectacular colors for the opulence of Veronica's house and dark lighting when her father is arrested. Really, you don't need to change too much of Veronica's "origin" to fit the show, and the comic shows it. She's just a formerly-rich teen, out of her depth in a small town.

Excuse me, the proper term is "Arby's", and only Jon Stewart gets to say that.

Finally, "It Was A Dark And Stormy Night" recounts Jughead's pre-fourth of July exploits. It acts as a counterpoint to Archie's story, showing what Jughead was doing during his time with Miss Grundy. Once again, I liked it. It's fascinating to see this version of Jughead, although it is kind of odd that we see references to him constantly eating food, but it's not shown. I understand downplaying it for the show, but wouldn't it be easy to just draw a stack of burgers or even a load of empty plates at his table?

All in all, the comic was better than I expected. It definitely makes me want to read the eventual ongoing series. It does have moments of levity along with the teen drama and it just has a better tone than the show. I hope it continues to be satisfactory.

Riverdale #1 is written by Brian E. Paterson, Britta Lundin, James DeWille, and Will Ewing. The artists are Elliot Fernandez, Jim Towe, Thomas Pitilli, and Alitha Martinez. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Saturday Night Live S42, E16- Scarlett Johansson, Lorde: A Gloriously Wacky Episode Brings Trump-Supporting Dogs, Aliens, And Ninjas

Cold Opening: Ooh, this is a more cinematic cold opening than before. I like the way it's filmed. I also like seeing Alec's Trump in a more fictionalized scenario. The weirder it gets, the easier it is to briefly stop being terrified for the future of the nation. This sketch uses almost every member of the cast in a brilliant way. I could see it inspiring some Independence Day parodies in the future. My only complaint would be that I was left wanting more, and, really, that's just a compliment in disguise.

Monologue: Welcome to the Five-Timer's Club, Scarlett Johansson! I love it when they add to the mythology of the club. Jackets, songs, and special privileges. In some cases, the hosts even get to make the cast members fight to the death. Ironically, the monologue didn't really have Scarlett telling a lot of jokes, but it had some excellent moments from Kate McKinnon and a very ostentatious Kenan Thompson. Hail Kenan, he's been there for the longest amount of time out of the current cast!

Zoo Pornographer: Ah, brings back memories of Gilda Radner's Emily Litella. One accidental mistake leads to chaos. I don't normally like this kind of humor, but I'm amused by the way even the most innocuous statements are taken out of context. Fun fact: If you look up dannybangsanimals.com, it just leads to SNL's official website. Don't worry, I checked in an incognito window.

Fire Island: Ha, reality tv show parodies! Just remember, reality shows can never get too specific. Networks will try to produce them based on anything.

Translator: It's probably a good thing this didn't air after the zoo sketch. I'm calling it now, this is the sketch of the night. I had a hard time taking notes because I just kept laughing during the sketch. That was completely unexpected, but brilliant. Really, isn't it every dog owner's worst nightmare that your beloved pet would turn out to be a Trump supporter?

Olive Garden: Beck Bennett continues to be a boon to the cast. The sketch features him filming patrons for an Olive Garden commercial. Unfortunately for them, it quickly goes from normal requests to a Bugs Bunny-style session of screwing with them for kicks and giggles. It gets even worse (read: funnier) when he just starts outright being racist and sexist, making the costumers humiliate themselves for a chance at fame.

Complicit: This is wonderful. "Complicit" makes fun of Ivanka Trump by showing just how, well, complicit she is in perpetuating Donald Trump's horrific actions. I admit, at first, I thought it was a rerun of season thirty-seven's "Red Flag" sketch. They had similar writing formulas.

Lorde Musical Performance #1-"Green Light:" I enjoyed the visuals. You can watch it here.

Weekend Update: I find this Senator Al Franken bit especially amusing because Al used to be a Saturday Night Live cast member and writer. Kate McKinnon's Jeff Sessions reminds me of a combination of Foghorn Leghorn Bill Hader impersonating James Carville. Therefore, seeing them bounce off of each other is perfect. CBS, consider retooling your The Odd Couple reboot with these two. Pete Davidson's piece felt like something out of the best of The Daily Show. Also, his statement about quitting drugs and alcohol wasn't a joke. He released a statement about it recently.

Shud The Mermaid: Hey, his situation is still better than The Wild Life. This is similar to something that's been done before, with Kate McKinnon reprising her role as a mer-blobfish. The formula also vaguely reminds me of the Lawrence Welk Show sketch with Kristen Wiig. I like the practical effects for Kate and Scarlett's costumes.

Shanice Goodwin Ninja-Rivals: It's the return of Leslie Jones as a ninja! I hope it goes better than the first time she played Shanice Goodwin. She actually hurt herself during the sketch, but kept performing. Also, HEY, Vanessa, haven't seen you in a while. It's good to see you in the episode. I like the buddy cop twist.

Lorde Musical Performance #2-"Liability:" Once again, I enjoyed the visuals. You can watch it here.

A Sketch For The Women: I completely forgot that SNL might be affected by the Day Without Women strike and march. As far as I know, it didn't hurt the episode's quality, but this sketch was produced about it. Fortunately, Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney stepped up to create a special sketch dedicated to women and feminism, with a special cameo from Lorde.

The joke is that the two talk about feminism, while Scarlett and Aidy do absolutely nothing, only getting to say a few words. What little they do get to say is just thanking Kyle and Beck for their words of wisdom. The rest of SNL's female cast members are shown at a different table, looking annoyed. It really just had one joke, but it wasn't bad.

Funeral Service: Once again, kind of a one-note sketch. Hearing death metal music and generally inappropriate songs at a funeral wasn't very funny, but it did elicit a few chuckles.

Closing Thoughts: That was a fantastic show. I'm not sure if Scarlett had any big parts in the second half of the show, but the sketches were funny enough to make that a moot point. This episode was particularly weird, but not to a point where it would be detriment. As someone on Twitter said, it felt like someone just took a lot of sketch ideas that would normally be used for the final sketch of the episode and spread them throughout the running time. I'm not complaining. It made me laugh and that's really all that I needed.

Next Time: On April 8th, Louis C.K. will host for the fourth time and The Chainsmokers will perform as the musical guest. I haven't really enjoyed his episodes in the past, but that's mostly due to a weird incident happening in my family that paralleled to a joke in the monologue when he hosted for the first time. I'll try to get over my bias.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.