Critical Hits & Misses #144



For today's musical hit,we have Janelle Monae's "Electric Lady"



Today's critical rolls: who is your favorite fictional female character that does stuff and is feminist because of it?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #143

How I feel in Stardew Valley during the spring flower dance...
For today's musical hit, we have Lana Del Rey and "Love"



Today's critical rolls: It's Monday! What's on the agenda for the week? Anything fun and interesting? Any political or social campaigning or protesting you plan to do?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #142




For today's musical hit, of course we have Beyonce and the fabulous (and controversial) "Formation"



Today's critical rolls: Personally, I adore Beyonce and think she's fabulous. Who are your favorite feminist icons (even if they are dead) and why?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #141




For today's musical hit, we have Missy Elliott and "Work It"



Today's critical rolls: In the grand scheme of the fast moving video game industry, five years is pretty old. What other "old" (older than five years) games do you think have aged well and still continue to be worthy of playing even today?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Archie #17 Review: Manipulations And Men's Clothing


Archie #17 focuses on Cheryl's pursuit of Archie and the lengths that she'll go to in order to win his heart by any means necessary.

I absolutely love it. Seeing just what she'll do in order to trick Archie into falling for her is amazing. She relentlessly finds out what he likes and just makes a checklist out of it. It's hilarious, seeing her try to win him over, despite not really caring about the basic details, like Betty and Jughead's names. She even tries to pump Betty's former beau, Sayid, for information, but ends up alienating him.

I guess he's read Afterlife With Archie. Can't blame you, it has some extremely unpleasant implications.
Meanwhile, Veronica needs to get back to Riverdale and stop Cheryl from succeeding in her plan. If she finishes all of her work quickly enough, she could hypothetically leave and go back in a couple of weeks. Unfortunately, her new teacher is Mr. Collier, the former mayor of Riverdale. Wuh-oh. Overall, it's an amazing issue and I strongly urge you to start reading it. Very soon, the Archie series will have a new arc, so that makes a perfect jumping-on point for anyone who's been introduced to the franchise through Riverdale.

"And make it plaid with polka dots!"
Archie #17 is written by Mark Waid, drawn by Joe Eisma, lettered by Jack Morelli, and colored by Andre Szymanowicz. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Critical Hits & Misses #140


For today's musical hit, we have Beyonce's "Hold Up"



Today's critical rolls: what's your video game childhood love?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Bad Housekeeping Is A Welcomed Escape



I’ve always felt that cozy mysteries are the unsung heroes of genre fiction. Sure, Agatha Christie remains a celebrated author even today, and Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries is rightfully popular, but much of the genre is considered reading material for old ladies who knit and garden. I would argue even the most feel good murder mystery is inherently macabre; all the delight still centers around the fact that someone was murdered and our hero(ine) needs to figure out whodunit before the murderer strikes again. In contrast, it still makes for wonderfully escapist fiction where our murderer is caught and justice is served, and then we all celebrate with a nice cup of tea.

Bad Housekeeping is an upcoming murder mystery by Maia Chance, the first in a new series. Our heroine, Agnes Blythe, is unceremoniously dumped by her professor boyfriend for a pretty Pilates instructor. At the same time, her aunt Effie comes into town to claim her inheritance of the old Stagecoach Inn, which is in desperate need of renovations and repairs. The two women find themselves the prime suspects in a murder case, and must work together to clear their names.

Agnes’s woes are melodramatic and after a while, quite comical. She frequently runs into her ex having the time of his life with his new girlfriend, and after all her clothes are accidentally donated to Goodwill, she is forced to wear her old high school wardrobe dug out from storage at her dad’s house. You can't really get annoyed with her self-depreciation with lines like “I looked like the least favourite wife of a cult leader.” If not written with such lighthearted prose, we might think Agnes the most pathetic person in the entire world. Chance writes with great humour on almost every page, and more than a few passages made me laugh out loud.

Some of the troubles Agnes and Effie have are definitely contrived and do not feel possible. The Stagecoach Inn is suddenly set for demolition within days, and Agnes’s university had apparently appointed her fiance to be her academic advisor. In what world that isn’t a conflict of interest, I have no idea, but there’s more than a few people in this novel that feel far removed from reality. Some of these obstacles are just there to provide tension and a sense of a drastic deadline.

The mystery itself was hard to predict but satisfying in it’s conclusion, which is always a sign of a good whodunit. I did piece together some aspects of the conspiracy before Agnes did, but I did not completely work out who the murderer was until they revealed themselves. That is, after all, the only unpredictable aspect of a murder mystery. Everything else moves as expected, but not in a boring, lifeless way. In the end, Agnes and Effie are not where they thought they would be, but where we are happy to leave them until the next scandalous murder rocks their little town.

Bad Housekeeping is written by Maia Chance and published by Crooked Lane Books. It will be released on June 13, 2017 and is available for pre-order through Barnes and Noble and Amazon.

Megan “Spooky” Crittenden is a secluded writer who occasionally ventures from her home to give aid to traveling adventurers.

The Unbelievable Gwenpool #12 Review: Dungeon, Dungeons, And More Dungeons! (And Mercenaries, Too)


Arcade is one of my favorite Marvel villains. What's not to like about a guy who constructs elaborate and deadly amusement parks just to mess with some heroes? He's built Murderworlds for the X-Men, the Thing, and most recently Patsy Walker, among many other heroes. Typically a foe for the X-Men-associated heroes, he's one of the most playful assassins out there. Hey, maybe he'll duel with Bullseye in that miniseries at some point. Arcade's next scheduled appearance is in the Elektra series and they're both part of a new "Running With The Devil" branch.

This issue is filled with not only a ton of gaming references, but also a mystical mystery. You see, Arcade is switching things up. No longer content with just trapping a hero or two in a deadly amusement park, he's now snatching up groups of mercs and pitting them against various challenges. Gwen turns out to not just be a Marvel nerd, but also a gaming nerd, saving the rest of her team's skins without a lot of collateral damage. Well, mostly. Some mercs were enchanted into frogs and they're dead, but, you know, comes with the territory of being recruited by Arcade.


On another note, is it just me or does Arcade look like Weird Al Yankovic? He's officially on my list of people who I want to see play Arcade in a film, alongside Andy Samberg. He gives them an ultimate challenge to complete, seeing as Gwen ruined his fun with the shopkeeper scene. They must slay the Unkillable Beat, a mysterious foe. As the robo-shopkeeper says before his decapitation, "If you let it speak, it will drive you mad. If you make it bleed, it will not last." I'm going to hide the identity of the beast until the end of the review, so just skip the rest now. I'm really just going to write about who created the issue after this. Go, go!

SPOILER WARNING
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The identity of the Unkillable Beast is...Deadpool! It's a really great mystery and it makes a lot of sense. Deadpool can heal and he'll definitely irritate you with his babbling. We're finally getting a Deadpool/Gwenpool team-up! In the past, Christopher Hastings has hinted at this interaction by questioning why Gwen hasn't mentioned Deadpool at all if she knows so much about seemingly everyone in the Marvel world. Could there be a moral conflict in the making? We'll have to wait for the next issue to find out!

 The Unbelievable Gwenpool is written by Christopher Hastings, drawn by Gurihiru, and lettered and produced by VC's Clayton Cowles. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Critical Hits & Misses #139



For today's musical hit, we have Rihanna's "Love On The Brain"



Today's critical rolls: what's your post-apop or dystopian novel of choice and why?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #138



  • This is the final time we're posting this, mostly because today is the 20th of February, aka President's Day. Get your donations in today! “On Monday, February 20, 2017 America will observe President's Day, but our current president gives us little cause for celebration. As Trump and the GOP-lead Congress work to repeal the ACA and defund Planned Parenthood, women across America will need their services more than ever. Donate today so we can give Planned Parenthood a reason to celebrate this February 20th! Bonus points if we can raise enough to make a statement and annoy our fear-mongering leader.”

  • Family is an important theme of The LEGO Batman Movie. Evan Narcisse of io9 recounts how watching the film gave his six year old daughter a new way of understanding that concept.

For today's musical hit, we have Lana Del Rey and "Love"



Today's critical rolls: Lego Batman is all about family, even if it means forming one of your own if life's cheated you out of your natural one. Tell us about what family means to you!


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

And This Old World Is A New World: The Wild Storm #1 Review


The original Wildstorm was an independent comic publisher started by Jim Lee, primarily releasing superhero books set in Lee's own universe. After DC purchased it in 1992, it retained its independence, similar to Vertigo, with its own lineup of creator-owned (like Brian K. Vaughan's Ex Machina) and licensed comics. That ended with Wildstorm's closure in 2010, and the imprint's own characters were incorporated in DC universe's ill-considered New52 reboot. Sadly, aside from Midnighter and Apollo (who flourished in Steve Orlando's caring hands), none of them made an impact, quickly fading into obscurity. Until last year, when DC announced the relaunch of the imprint under the curation of none other than Warren Ellis.

In many ways, Ellis owes his cult status to Wildstorm. While he didn't start his career there, he gained general recognition in the industry thanks to his work there, in particular thanks to the influential The Authority. It's understandable, then, that he decided to agree when asked by Jim Lee to head the imprint's relaunch.


Wildstorm's return is a highly publicized event, equal to last year's Young Animal launch, with The Wild Storm serving as the foundation of the entire imprint. In an essay published in the backmatter of pretty much every DC title released in the two weeks prior to first issue's release, Ellis outlined his big plans for the next two years. In essence, he took the inspirations that drove Lee in creating his universe--government conspiracy, ufology and genetic experimentation--and modernized, putting it all in a complex series bible. The imprint will work similar to a cinematic universe: one 6 issue series will be released after the other, each building upon the former, culminating in a giant event ending in two years.

It's a complex endeavor; but all of this is the future. Here and now, we have The Wild Storm #1, the first step for the entire story.


The issue's focus is Angelica Spica, a researcher for Miles Craven's IO and a relaunched version of the classic Wildstorm character, the Engineer. When we meet her, Angelica is in a bad state: aimlessly walking through New York, bleeding and clearly anxious about her research, until she ends up saving a man falling from a skyscraper. The manner of that rescue--a metamorphosis into a flying armored suit--along with the man she rescues and the circumstances that caused him to fall through the building's window are the inciting event of Ellis's entire four year plan. It's what will cause all of the characters introduced in the issue, members of different secret societies, to come to blows.


Sadly, the comic's status as a prelude to the entire story is its biggest flaw. In the span of 22 pages we're introduced to a whole slew of characters, and thanks to their number most of them don't get very developed. However, it's only the first chapter of a six-part story, and Ellis's writing is as skilled as ever. We only get glimpses into the characters we're introduced to, and only get a peek under the story's curtain, but they are so well written that they betray hidden depths that will likely be explored in the future issues and series. For the time being, though, it's all a work in progress.

What isn't a work in progress, though, is Jon Davis-Hunt's art, with Ivan Plascencia's coloring. Davis-Hunt is a fantastic artist, primarily known for his work on 2000 AD, and more recently on Gail Simone's Clean Room. He brings to The Wild Storm his trademark clean and detailed artwork, with the characters' facial expressions revealing more about themselves than the writing can in such a limited space. Plascencia's colors build upon this foundation, using a duller palette for most panels allowing the brighter, more important elements to grab our eye.


Despite the comic's limitations as a first part of a bigger, very promising whole, The Wild Storm #1 still manages to shine, with fabulous art and Ellis's trademark writing craft. It's more than enough incentive to find out how it all develops next month. I'll see you then.

The Wild Storm #1 is written by Warren Ellis, with art by Jon Davis-Hunt and Ivan Plascencia, and published Wildstorm, a DC Comics imprint. You can buy it at your local comic shop, or at comiXology.

Dominik Zine is a nerdy demisexual lad from northeastern Poland and is generally found in a comfy chair with a book in hand.

U.S.Avengers #3 Review: The End Of The $kullocracy?


It's an all-out battle to save the day between the U.S.Avengers and the Golden Skull! Heroes vs robotic billionaire facsimiles! Villains plundering for gold! Time travel and alternate universes! What more can I say? First of all, the art is amazing, especially on the cover. I love the detail and I would definitely play that board game.

The whole issue has an amazing sense of fun and whimsy. In fact, it even mentions Arcade! That's a cool coincidence, reviewing two comics in the same week that just so happen to include the same baddie, although he really only appears in an illusion in this one. The real bad guy is still the Golden Skull, one of the most offbeat villains in recent Marvel history! I'm going to miss seeing him, as well as Danielle Cage. They were both really cool characters.

Actually, Mr. Golden Skull, it's pronounced "fake news." I'm sorry, you're not from this time, you probably didn't know that. Easy mistake. Please don't kill me!
The comic also features some marvelous character interactions. It really sets the tone for the series, seeing everyone joke around even while they're stopping killer robots. I definitely recommend U.S.Avengers. If the first arc is this good, I can't wait to see how the next one will top it.

Pictured: Squirrel Girl's one weakness- Helping to keep other heroes from flying back as they use fire powers to attack robots! It's a very specific weakness.
U.S.Avengers #3 is written by Al Ewing, pencilled by Paco Medina and Carlo Barberi, colored by Jesus Aburtov and Andres Mossa, and lettered by VC's Joe Caramagna. You can find it at your local comic book shop.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or Harry Potter books.

Critical Hits & Misses #137



For today's musical hit, we have Incubus' "Megalomaniac"



Today's critical rolls: TGIF! What's on the agenda for your weekend? Anything fun and exciting?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Super Fun! - Super Sons #1 Review




I’ve pretty much been waiting for Super Sons to come out from the moment DC announced their Rebirth titles. I’m a sucker for Batman and Superman team ups and stories about superhero families, so getting a title about Robin and Superboy was pretty much a dream title for me. “Superman #10” teased us with the “World’s Smallest” story, and I’ve been itching to get more of this diminutive duo ever since. Well this week I finally got to read issue #1 and it does not disappoint.

The beginning actually manages to double up on one of what is quickly becoming one of my least favorite plot devices in comics. It starts with a section labeled “Prologue” then jumps to “Now” then back to “Hamilton County. 300 miles from Metropolis. Two days earlier.” Starting a comic with a bunch of time jumps is something I’ve seen used way too much lately. It feels increasingly cheap as a device to artificially increase the tension at the beginning of a comic as a way to hook readers. While I understand that it was probably used in this case to get some splashy action scenes into what would otherwise be a comic that consists mostly of exposition, knowing that doesn’t make me any less bored with the trope.



After that though, my complaints evaporate. Jorge Jimenez’s art is wonderfully kinetic and expressive. He stretches faces and exaggerates poses to create the perfect playful, energetic mood for the two young protagonists. Even relatively still scenes pack in a lot of personality. It's even, dare it be said of a non all ages title, quite cute and charming.



Tomasi’s writing is great too, even with my quibbles about pacing. He introduces the characters in a way that covers a lot of their personalities and backgrounds for newcomers without needing to resort to explaining things so those who already know the characters get bored. Jon is the sweet kid who stands up to bullies even when he can’t really stop them because he needs to hide his powers. Damian is the clever kid who skips out on his homework because it bores him and talks his friend into sneaking out to fight crime. There’s just a little bit of one-upmanship and rivalry here too that feels genuine and boyish.



I’m eagerly awaiting the next issue in this series, and not just because this one ends on a cliffhanger. Super Sons is fun. It’s a pleasant antidote to the mountains of grim seriousness that can plague superhero stories, and I want more.

Miz Opifex is a union electrician by day and a champion of feminine geekery by night. She lives in the American Rust Belt with her cat and a staggering amount of books, movies, and albums on vinyl.

Critical Hits & Misses #136



For today's musical hit, we have le tigre's "Keep On Livin'"



Today's critical rolls: We're into the interactive genre. Insert your own critical roll here!

Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Spectre of the Gun - Arrow S05E13

So Arrow tackled the politically-charged topic of gun control in America.

Wait, what?

(spoilers beyond the fold)



Arrow has continued to surprise me, and at times, completely baffle me, in season five, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I discussed, last week, the bad habit the Arrow showrunners have of killing off Canaries and Lance women (and women in general, really). The addition of Dinah Drake to the team as the new Canary hopefully heralds in a new era of women not dying on the show, but who knows. 

Anyway, this week we take a pretty big step away from Dinah/Canary, other than John having a heart-to-heart with her about getting back into the actual act of living. It was a nice little bit of dialogue, bonded John and Dinah, and didn't take up a lot of space from the rest of the heavy show. 

And heavy it was. Curiously, the writers decided to tackle not just something topical and pertinent to American politics today, but to also tackle a topic that is extremely divisive and somewhat risky for a tv show that doesn't normally seem to lean either left or right, politically. 

But while I appreciated the oddly in-depth and careful approach to the topic of gun control, I was also pleasantly surprised by the method by which the writers chose to approach it. 

We barely see Oliver in his suit in this episode. That is, in his green suit. He saddled up once to shake down a gang thug who he thought--wrongly--might have been responsible for the tragic and brutal shooting that took place in the Mayor's office and killed a bunch of his innocent staffers. There was a useless little intervention there from Vigilante, the asshole in the ski mask who likes to kill bad guys, whose only role seemed to be to pop in and say, "Heeeyyyyy, remember me? I still exist! Bye now!" 

"And don't you forget I exist, either, punk! Bye!"
Other than that one silly and forgettable scene, Oliver tackles this episode in his day suit... as the mayor. What makes this surprising is that his being mayor of Star City has sort of been almost a running joke, and a convenient (if bullshit) way of making it possible for him to do things that Mayors in real life don't actually do, like borrow a submarine solo, or fly to Russia on a private jet with a bunch of people not on the city payroll. So color me stunned when he decides that he needs to deal with this shooter, and the implications of it, as Mayor Queen, and not the Green Arrow. 

Doing this episode, on this topic, with non-superheroics, was the ballsiest thing I've seen Arrow do in a really, really long time. And it paid off. 



The whole episode centers around a shooter that was angry with the previous mayoral administration for failing to pass a stringent gun owner registry, which the shooter sees as the reason for his wife and kids dying. So he shows up at City Hall, shoots up the place, walks out, and then targets other public places to further get his point across. What I love about this story is that the shooter ultimately isn't even presented as a nutcase. I mean yeah, it was wrong of him to do what he did and kill the innocent mayoral staffers, but his pain was real, and his rage at the government doing nothing is a very real concern in the actual United States. In the climactic scene at the hospital where Oliver confronts the shooter, Oliver points out that the gun registry wouldn't have helped the man's family, because the thug that killed them didn't obtain his gun legally. At which point, the shooter agrees, and that he has done something horrible, and that it's actually his own fault for not protecting his family like a man should (which is barely skating that whole forced patriarchal/masculine role on fathers and husbands who feel it's their duty to protect their families, which is another crazy heavy topic for another day). So he turns the gun on himself. Oliver then talks him down from that too, telling him that killing himself won't help anyone, and that there is a better way. 

I also really loved how the petty way in which this topic is normally debated in the US--especially on the internet--was presented in the form of Rene and Curtis constantly going back and forth. Curtis is your typical bleeding-heart liberal (no insult, because I am one too) who believes less guns on the street is better for everyone and means less dead people, and Lance jumps in and says that yeah, cops would prefer there be less armed citizens out there. And Rene is your typical pro-gun supporter who feels safer with a gun in his own hands. I loved their debate, because it was so familiar to me. I've had the same debate, with very nearly the same exact words, on countless internet forums. Curtis was speaking for me. 

Curtis: This is my liberal "Bitch, plz" face
Rene: This is my general "Bitch, plz" face, hoss
We also get Rene's origin story here in the form of flashbacks, where we see how his wife was killed (by her drug dealer, with a gun), and that his daughter was taken away from him by the state. It's really sad, but there's hope yet, because Curtis has a lawyer friend who is going to help Rene get his daughter back from the state. 

I think what was astonishing to me was how fabulously-acted this episode was. We have entire scenes of Oliver being mayoral, hanging out in his office, debating the gun control thing with a councilwoman, and the crazy thing is, it works. I was never bored, and perhaps more to the point because gun control is an important topic to me personally, I was totally invested in the story. 

There are a LOT of "Bitch, plz" faces in this episode...
Ultimately, "Spectre of the Gun" does not pretend to have the answer to this ongoing and raging debate. When the episode finished, I was kind of rolling my eyes a bit and thinking, "man, what a cop-out, they weren't brave enough to actually present a solution." But after a few hours of letting the episode stew in my brain for a bit, I came to realize... the Arrow writers don't have a solution. Of course they don't, because we've been debating this topic in America for decades, and within my lifetime, since freaking Columbine. Every time there's a mall shooting or a school shooting it rages back up for a while and people scream at each other on the internet a lot and politicians hold rallies to satisfy their constituents and make it seem like they are doing something, but nothing ever actually gets done. We as a society don't seem to have a solution, or even really look for one, so why would a bunch of writers for a superhero show have one?

Actually, I take it back. The writers do have the solution to America's woes, including gun control. You might have missed it. The magical solution to the gun control debate is: sitting down at the adult's table and listening to one another, and coming up with a solution that satisfies both sides. The councilwoman in this episode has some pro-gun arguments that made sense, and Oliver and the anti-gun folks did too. Ultimately, Star City gets a new set of gun safety/gun control laws that both sides accepted, because the laws were written up with both sides sitting at the table having a sensible debate. Woah.



Curtis spelled out the real problem we have, and it's not guns: it's America's toxic discourse.

I am reminded of a Facebook "debate" I recently had with a militant vegan who showed up to let all of us meat eaters know that we were, unequivocally, murderers, and anything we tried to argue or say was simply an excuse to make ourselves feel better. When told that her discourse wasn't going to change anyone's heart and mind, her response was, "I'm not here to change anyone's mind. I'm here to let you know that if you don't stop eating meat right now, you're lower than pond scum and that you should die." Well okay then. So I went into full troll mode and lovingly described the delicious double patty burger I had for lunch that day. I mean, I'm not a total heathen. It had mushrooms on it. With bacon.

We in America literally cannot discuss what we had for dinner last night without de-evolving into a hot mess of hatred and loathing (and trolling, yes). How are we ever going to fix real issues? We can't, of course, and that was the stealth message in this episode. Americans have gotten comfortable with only listening to their own POV and shouting over the opposition. (The cancer is hardly contained to America; if the Brexit debate last year in the UK is any indication, the polarizing effect has infected other countries as well).

Holy hell. We got all this from an episode of a tv show that features a dude running around with a bow and arrow on the streets of Detroit, basically? Yeah, we totally did. This is superhero entertainment at its finest, bringing to mind the fabulous run of Sam Wilson as Captain America in recent Marvel comics, to the first interracial kiss on American tv in 1968 on Stark Trek, and all the way back to Captain America punching Hitler on a comic book cover, to a couple of Jewish guys creating the quintessential American hero with Superman, who fights oppressors like wife beaters from the get-go. Genre entertainment, particularly science fiction and superheroes, has always been political and topical. Always. Anyone who claims differently hasn't been paying attention to the morals of any of those stories. I really, really appreciate Arrow taking a massive risk in doing this episode.

This was easily one of Arrow's best written and best acted episodes. And they hardly kicked any bad guy ass in it. 


Ivonne Martin is a writer, gamer, and avid consumer of all things geek—and is probably entirely too verbose for her own good.


Critical Hits & Misses #135

Fabulous Sombra fan art by Liang-Xing on Deviant Art

For today's musical hit, we have Gnucci and WORK!



Today's critical rolls: Even if you don't do the Twitter thing, Twitter has, without a doubt, become a staple of the 21st Century communication and a big part of online discourse. If you could get into a Twitter war without any famous person, who would it be and why?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Critical Hits & Misses #134



For today's musical hit, we have the fabulous Nina Simone and "Ain't Got No, I Got Life"



Today's critical rolls: Happy Valentine's Day! Do you celebrate this holiday? If you don't, why not? If you do, what are you doing for your sweetie?


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Review - Wonder Woman: Her Greatest Battles

Wonder Woman Her Greatest Battles cover


Fifteen years ago Wonder Woman: Her Greatest Battles would have been the exact sort of trade I would have found profoundly frustrating, back when I was first trying to get into superhero comics. Numbered trades that collected coherent chunks of plot were harder to come by, and the trades I could get my hands on tended to collect a selection of fan favorite issues without the surrounding context. As a newcomer to these heroes’ stories, these collections were disjointed and confusing, and not the good introduction I had hoped for. Now that I have become a more regular reader, I have begun to see the appeal in these greatest hits albums. A best of Wonder Woman sounded particularly fun.

Wonder Woman: Her Greatest Battles collects 7 issues ranging in date from 1987 to 2013. All but one are from a Wonder Woman main title, and the remainder is from Justice League. It’s a solid highlight reel of what makes Wonder Woman stand out, not just as leading lady, but as superhero who isn’t quite like any other. However there are a few missteps that weaken the overall message.

The first two stories are my favorites. “Power Play” by George Perez and “In the Forest of the Night” by John Byrne both show Wonder Woman tackling her greatest foes, Ares and Cheetah, through means other than her prowess as a warrior. My favorite aspect of Wonder Woman has never been her ability to fight, though she can lay the smack down with the best of them, but her ability to go past the fight in front of her to resolve the underlying conflict through communication, wisdom, and compassion. It’s something we see precious little of in other heroes, and that makes her stand out all the brighter. These stories show that part of her to its best advantage.

The next three stories “Stoned: Conclusion” and “Sacrifice: Part Four” by Greg Rucka and “A Murder of Crows Part Two: Throwdown” by Gail Simone all focus on a more martial aspect of Wonder Woman. She goes toe to toe with two of DC’s hardest hitters, Superman and Power Girl, and holds her own. Of the three, Gail Simone’s story made for the most enjoyable read thanks to the more light hearted tone and slight tongue and cheek reference to Wonder Woman’s occasional bondage jokes in her Golden Age adventures.

“Justice League Part Three” by Geoff Johns doesn’t fit the tone of the rest of the book. All the other stories come from a plot arc’s climax and illustrate something crucial to the characterization of Wonder Woman. This story however shows her introduction to the New 52’s Justice League. Half the story is about the creation of Cyborg, and the rest is a surface level introduction to Wonder Woman’s character. It lacks the impact of the other stories and doesn’t mesh well with the overall theme.

The final story is “God Down” by Brian Azzarello. It marks the climax of New 52’s Wonder Woman’s relationship with Ares. While I can certainly appreciate how the decision to change Wonder Woman’s relationship with one of her greatest opponents into one of a mentor, the scene at the end of this issue where her first act as the new god of war is to spare an opponent’s life brings a nice sense of closure to the book. It again comes back to the idea that her greatest strength lies in her heart and not her ability to fight.

I still think this book would frustrate someone not familiar with the character due to only showing the crisis moment in most of the stories, but it works well as a look back on some of her best fights for someone who already knows and loves the character.

Miz Opifex is a union electrician by day and a champion of feminine geekery by night. She lives in the American Rust Belt with her cat and a staggering amount of books, movies, and albums on vinyl.

Critical Hits & Misses #133


  • Matt Lees discusses Kingdom’s meditative atmosphere in Cool Ghosts’ “Best Game Ever” series.

  • Did you see the Grammy's last night? Did you notice the "trophy girls?" If not, check this out, because these times, they are a-changing (despite American Conservatives fighting this sort of normalizing tooth and claw). Turns out that a transgender woman and a male model handed out the golden trophies, because the Academy president felt that "trophy girls" are antiquated. Hats off to you, sir!

  • On Monday, February 20, 2017 America will observe President's Day, but our current president gives us little cause for celebration. As Trump and the GOP-lead Congress work to repeal the ACA and defund Planned Parenthood, women across America will need their services more than ever. Donate today so we can give Planned Parenthood a reason to celebrate this February 20th! Bonus points if we can raise enough to make a statement and annoy our fear-mongering leader. (Editor's Note: we will be posting this every week until President's Day. We feel this is too important!)

For today's musical hit, we have M.I.A. "Borders"



Today's critical rolls: What's your "Best Game Ever?" Doesn't have to be PC, could be any game, of any age, on any platform.


Critical Writ has a super-duper strict comment policy that specifies a single rule above all others: we reserve the right to ban you for being a terribad citizen of the internet.

Steven Universe Recap - S04E11-15


Before we start, I'd like to take a moment and applaud the sheer level of incompetence displayed by Cartoon Network. Accidentally releasing a spoiler-filled promo or airing two episodes in other countries before their US release date is one thing, of that kind best described as "shit happens." But leaking the entire five episode event marking Steven Universe's 2017 return is reaching never before seen heights of idiocy. I swear, if I didn't see a member of the Trump's cabinet accidentally tweet not one, but two confidential passwords, I'd probably start to find the "CN wants to cancel Steven Universe to make space for stuff like Teen Titans Go" more plausible. Just... stop screwing up, Cartoon Network. Jesus.

And now we bring you your usual Steven Universe recap.

(Spoilers beyond this point.)


Plagued by weird dreams of a pink palanquin, Steven is anxious to find out answers about Pink Diamond (allegedly killed by his mother), but is unable to break the Crystal Gems' silence. Eventually he comes to blows with Garnet and ends up recruiting help from Greg in order to get to Korea. That's where the pink palanquin from his dreams, according to Buddy's journal, was when we first saw it, and is located. And that's where we meet Blue Diamond.

Voiced by an Irish singer/songwriter/musician Lisa Hannigan, Blue has been in mourning over Pink Diamond since her death, millennia ago. The two were definitely in a very close relationship, so she devoted a lot of care to securing everything connected to Pink. And that's why Steven and Greg find her near the palanquin, crying over the near destruction of Earth (unaware that the Cluster is contained and nothing is being blown up). It's unclear if she and Pink Diamond were closer to each other than the other Diamonds. On the surface level, Yellow (who returns towards the end of this set of episodes) seems more collected. But the end of her song "What's the Use of Feeling" reveals her calm is only surface-deep. In the final verses, that veneer cracks, giving a glimpse of grief likely as deep as Blue's. That puts her determination for Earth to be destroyed in Cluster's "birth" in a different perspective; at first, it seemed like she was a conquer bent on destroying the place she was defeated at. Now, it seems like someone in mourning, who wants nothing to do with anything connected to their deceased loved one and especially with the place they died.


(It also suggests the Diamonds might be in a polyamorous relationship, but this will have to wait until White Diamond finally appears.)

Out of grief, Yellow wants Earth destroyed, and Blue wants to preserve as much as she can before the planet is destroyed. So when she accidentally meets Greg, who empathizes with her feelings, she kidnaps him, to save the (as she assumes) only human capable of understanding her from the literal earth-shattering event.


Terrified Steven runs back to the Crystal Gems and together they travel by Ruby ship to Blue Diamond's destination, the Zoo. This place is a deep-space structure, resembling a space station, where Pink Diamond kept humans that caught her eye. What follows is a fun, science-fiction adventure that reveals not only the Diamonds' depths, but also what happened to Quartz soldiers from Earth Kindergartens, other than Jasper and our Amethyst. Basically, Blue took them under her wing and put them on guard duty in the Zoo; an equivalent to putting your deceased loved one's things and putting them in one spot, a shrine devoted to their memory. Unfortunately for them, she put one of her entourage, Holly Blue Agate (voiced by Christine Pedi), in charge, who is an overbearing, bureaucratic dictator.

The payoff of that reveal comes when Steven helps Greg out of the enclosure where descendants of Pink Diamond's pet humans live in ignorant bliss. To infiltrate the Zoo, the Gems have to pretend to be a part of Blue Diamond's court, with Amethyst shape-shifted into a body resembling what her full-grown form would look like. She's eventually found out by other Quartzes, but not, as you might suspect, brought to the Zoo's overseer. The Amethysts from Prime Kindergarten and Jaspers from Beta Kindergarten are overjoyed to find a sister they never knew existed, and our Amethyst has a family, people who are just like her.


After the daring rescue that the Quartzes do absolutely nothing about (instead excited to see Holly beaten), the Gems return home. The mystery of Pink Diamond's death remains unsolved for now, and Yellow Diamond is definitely working on something involving Earth. But for now, all is well.

On a more technical side, this was the most well-crafted of Stevenbombs. Those five episode events are done when Cartoon Network feels like it, as opposed to when it makes the most sense plot-wise. That's why only two of them thus far formed any sort of arc—the first and season finales. And even then their opening episodes were unrelated to the rest of the bunch, and the first one only worked by pushing a couple of episodes into season 2. The other either had a very loose structure (the Sardonyx one) or were five unconnected episodes, loosely put together. This, on the other hand, was a very clear story arc, with a five part structure, an opening and an end. This suggests the Crewniverse and CN were more closely working together, which led to a positive outcome. Hopefully future events will be crafted as well.

But for now, we're finally back to weekly releases, at least for a while. We're starting with the episode showing the effects of Connie, Lapis and Peridot taking on the role of defenders of Earth in the main group's absence. I'll see you then.

Dominik Zine is a nerdy demisexual lad from northeastern Poland and is generally found in a comfy chair with a book in hand.

Saturday Night Live S42, E14- Alec Baldwin, Ed Sheeran: Politics-Heavy Episode Laden With Laughs, Slapstick


Cold Opening: That was fast. I'm not annoyed that this won't have Alec Baldwin, because he's hosting the entire show, and, frankly, Melissa McCarthy's Sean Spicer is funnier. This is even funnier than the first installment and it just shows how good Melissa McCarthy is at comedy, especially with angry characters.


Monologue: I wish that the monologue had some Trump-bashing. Sure, the references to some of Alec's past SNL adventures felt nostalgic, but I really wanted to see something more political. Oh, well, they still have a whole episode for a Trump impression. This part was just about Alec himself, and Pete Davidson taking some time to say that he's gotten really ugly ever since 1990.


Russell Stover: Good to see more of Sasheer Zamata! This is a pitch-perfect parody of how not to mark Black History Month. Remember, everyone, boxes of chocolates are good for Valentine's Day and anniversaries, but not at all appropriate for cultural occasions.


Pitch Meeting: The Super Bowl showed us that commercials have changed since the inauguration and this commercial shows it. A simple pitching process for some Cheeto's commercials shows the contrast between your standard goofy Cheeto's commercials and overly-serious commercials about LGBT issues and immigration.


Jake Tapper: You thought politics were a horror movie before? Kate's Kellyanne Conway makes it even creepier in a Fatal Attraction parody. The tone goes from Fifty Shades Of Grey to Misery in less than a minute, showing a deranged Kellyanne. She's willing to stab Jake Tapper and break into his apartment in order to get views. It's a disturbing little short, but very effective.


Drill Sergeant: Nepotism is alive and well in the army as Alec Baldwin's military leader drops in for an inspection. Of course, he's harsh to every soldier except for his son. It goes from amusing to exceptionally absurd when Alec starts fanning his son during a push-ups exercise and asking him about his birthday plans. I do wish that it was longer, but that's a minor quibble.


Ed Sheeran Musical Performance #1- "Shape Of You:" Was that a ukulele? I like that instrument. Wait, no, it was a xylophone. I'm dumb. That's what happens when you just guess based on the sound. You can watch it here.

Weekend Update: Yeesh, props to Weekend Update's photoshop crew, but now I have a mental image of Donald Trump in an ill-fitting Batman suit stuck in my head. Excuse me, I need to wash out my brain. If Donald Trump is Batman, then he's Azrael back when he briefly took over in the nineties. Kate McKinnon makes a great Elizabeth Warren. I wonder what she thought of the impression. Alex Moffat's smarmy "Guy Who Just Bought A Boat" character wasn't as funny, sadly. The Leslie Jones/Mikey Day segment kind of made me laugh, but it wasn't the best.






Trump People's Court: Wow, SNL doesn't do this very often. Due to the format of the show, sketches typically don't get referenced later in the episode. Rare exceptions have been made, such as the glorious "Z Shirts" piece (which can be seen here and here), but now it's happening again. A People's Court scenario was jokingly referenced on Weekend Update and now we have Alec's Trump in court against the Supreme Court. I only wish that it had Cheri Oteri making a surprise appearance to reprise her Judge Judy character and lambaste Trump.


Beyonce's Babies: In a surreal little sketch, we have Beyonce's twins conversing in the womb during a standard check-up. To my delight, Tracy Morgan appeared for a cameo! I didn't understand some of the references, not being much of a music person, but it was still funny. Apparently, Beyonce can control them just by singing.


Leslie Wants To Play Trump: YES! Just like an earlier prerecorded piece about Leslie and Kyle Mooney forming a relationship, this one focuses on Leslie's efforts to play Trump under the circumstances that Alec wants to stop playing him. I really like the continuity in this one, again showing Kyle and Leslie dating. The Lorne piece was also excellent. Somehow, I get the feeling that part of Leslie's tirade against Lorne was based on every writer's secret fantasy.


Ed Sheeran Musical Performance #2- "Castle On The Hill:" I wasn't really feeling this one. You can watch it here.

Gym Class: I'm very bad with faces, but I finally learned how to recognize Mikey Day. In this sketch, Doug (Mikey Day) is determined to beat the sit-up record in gym class. Sure enough, he does beat the record, but he experiences a "fart attack", to quote Leslie Knope, whenever he does a sit-up. It was a juvenile concept, but it ended up being fairly funny. The ending did make me wonder if the two main characters were related. It sounded like Mikey called Alec his dad, but I'm not sure.


Overall Thoughts: As episodes go, it was definitely a good one. I thought it would be more satirically biting, considering that the show's resident Trump impersonator hosting, but it still had some great insults. I do think that it wasn't as good as last week's installment. Some of the sketches were weaker this week, especially in the last half. The political material felt clearer and more focused. The next episode will air on March 4th, featuring Octavia Spencer as the host. At the time of this writing, the musical guest is unclear.

Zachary Krishef is an evil genius. Do not question his knowledge of Saturday Night Live trivia or the Harry Potter books.